I Promise Mom!
Opening Video Illustration: Honoring Mothers from BlueFishTV.com
Movie honoring New Life Moms made by Pastor Mike
Thesis: We need to promise our mothers that we will do the following 4 things so as to please the Lord and really bless our mothers at this time of the year.
Introduction:
What moms want?
Moms Want a Stress-Free Mother’s Day in ’08 according to one poll (www.reuters.com)!
Here are some requests by moms themselves from forums.dmmoms.com:
Submitted by Lake Mancos on Fri Mar 07, 2008 10:48 pm
I really and truly just want to be appreciated for all the many hats I wear on behalf of my family. There’s really no "thing" that I want or need... but man, it would be good to hear a heartfelt THANK YOU, MOM!
Submitted by Adriane on Fri Mar 07, 2008 11:05 pm
I ditto Lake Mancos. I don’t need anything physical at all. (I have all that I want.) Just a day with my family having fun with no worries and enjoying life. Of course with lots of hugs, kisses, and lots of I love you’s.
Submitted by Hvac34 on Sat Mar 08, 2008 8:12 am
I want a day to relax with my husband and kids. I like it when I don’t have to do any cooking, cleaning or any type of housework. I like a low key day to play outside if it is nice or play board games if not. It wouldn’t be Mother’s Day to me if I didn’t spend it with my family.
Me Time
Submitted by Mommy In Awe on Fri Mar 07, 2008 4:14 pm
I’d really love an afternoon to myself, just to read or catch up on all my projects that get put on hold because I run out of hours during the day.
spa day!
Submitted by miner mom on Fri Mar 07, 2008 3:49 pm
Some time I’d really love to be surprised with a day at a spa. Maybe just a few services- a massage, pedicure and manicure. Like, I wake up in the morning and my husband says, you are going to the spa at 9am!
What I want
Submitted by ankenymom2 on Sat Mar 08, 2008 3:21 pm
I would love a day with the ones that I love the most - my husband, our son, and our new baby girl... We usually go to Palmers for their mothers day brunch and that is my treat. We celebrate my son’s birthday that weekend every year as his birthday is on the 12th of May. He was the very best Mothers Day present ever.
The following is from http://family.go.com/parenting/article-sk-186922-mother-s-day--what-mom-really-wants-t/
The Most Precious Gift
Dads: Put away your checkbooks. Kids: Keep the change. What mom really wants for Mother’s Day is one of those things that money just can’t buy: the gift of time.
Whether it’s spent alone or with the family, moms across the country and around the world named time as their number one "must have," according to a recent SheKnows survey.
"All I want for Mother’s Day is a little time off," says Karen in San Antonio, Texas*. "I am at everyone’s beck and call. I want time for me." Adds Lisbeth from Raleigh, North Carolina, "I want to be able to take a bubble bath and get both legs shaved before my child needs something. I want to go shopping alone. I want to watch an entire sitcom episode without interruption."
More than "Me" Time
But time alone isn’t all mom wants. Many women crave some quality moments with the family. Says Colorado mom Dana, "This will be my first Mother’s Day ever, so I want it to be special. I would just like to spend the day at the park with my husband and seven-month-old daughter and have a picnic." Gina in California echoes this popular sentiment. "What I really want for Mother’s Day is just some quiet time with my husband and daughters. No work, no running to relatives or friends’ houses, no classes; just the four of us." Tee wants to "spend the day with my family, enjoying the three blessings I have been given."
What didn’t rate highly on the list? Flowers, chocolates, jewelry and clothes -- all traditional gifts for mom. Terri, a mother from Chicago, says, "My husband tends to buy things, but I would like something that took a little more effort."
While a bouquet or a box of candy may be easier, today’s busy mom needs love, peace and understanding -- and don’t underestimate the value of understanding. Notes Gail from Newfoundland, Canada, "What I’d really like to get for Mother’s Day is a little recognition for even some of the stuff I do." Tessy in Glenside, Pennsylvania, agrees that the perfect gift would be "just to be appreciated by my husband for being able to juggle a full-time job, and then go home to a full-time job of being a mother to a beautiful 11-month-old daughter and being a wife."
Show Your Love and Gratitude
After reading about what most moms want which is “time” I then sat and thought about what the Bible may say about what moms want and I came up with 2 ideas and I also have a 4th one that I will talk about at the end of my message.
T.S. – Today I titled my message “I promise mom?” and it’s obvious from my research on the internet that we need to promise our moms or our wives “time.”
I. I promise mom that I will spend time with her!
a. This is the most common request of a mom for Mother’s Day according to the polls.
i. So why is it the hardest to give her?
ii. Time is very precious right so why not give mom some of it?
iii. Solomon tells us in chapter 3 of his book Ecclesiastes that there is a time for everything and spending time with our family needs to be a priority in our life.
b. Do we value our Family Time?
i. Family time is something we all say we value, but few of us actually experience. Surveys suggest that most families rate time together as their number one priority. Those same surveys show that fathers spend only a few minutes a day with their children. In his book If I Were Starting My Family Again, John Drescher wrote about a study of 300 seventh and eighth-grade boys who kept detailed records of how much time their fathers spent with them over a two-week period. Most saw their father only at the dinner table. A number didn’t see their fathers for days at a time. The average time father and son were alone together was seven and one-half minutes a week. There are several excuses that we use to justify our lack of time together as families: We excuse ourselves by saying, "We don’t spend much time together, but our time is quality time." This makes me wonder what one minute of "quality time" per day might include. Perhaps you will agree with me that quality time cannot exist apart from quantities of time. Another argument we use is: "My kids are young. If I’m not around that much for the first few years, it won’t matter." This attitude fails to take into account the fact that many opportunities present themselves only once and only for a moment. A child is only two for one year. Toddlers do not remain toddlers for long. We must seize every opportunity to be together because none of us knows which moments are going to be locked forever into a child’s memory. And none of us knows which experiences will mark turning points in a child’s life. A third excuse is: "I’ll make it up to them later. There’s plenty of time. I’ll build my career now so that when they’re older we’ll have plenty of money to spend on activities we all enjoy." This argument is, in a word, foolishness. Who really believes that we’ll have more time in a few years than we have now? Busy lifestyles don’t change when we reach a certain age; they just become more deeply ingrained. We all have twenty-four hours in a day and what we do with those hours speaks volumes about what is important to us. If we have no time for our children while they are young, they very likely will have no time for us when we are old. We ought to make the most of each opportunity (Ephesians 5:16). Be a part of your children’s lives; make family time a priority. Schedule plenty of time together so quality experiences can happen. Your family is a gift to you from God. Don’t say, "I’ll make it up to you later." Spend time with your loved ones today.
1. From http://guidance.gospelcom.net/family.htm
ii. Deut 6:1-9: 1 These are the commands, decrees and laws the LORD your God directed me to teach you to observe in the land that you are crossing the Jordan to possess, 2 so that you, your children and their children after them may fear the LORD your God as long as you live by keeping all his decrees and commands that I give you, and so that you may enjoy long life. 3 Hear, O Israel, and be careful to obey so that it may go well with you and that you may increase greatly in a land flowing with milk and honey, just as the LORD, the God of your fathers, promised you. 4 Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one. 5 Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. 6 These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. 7 Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. 8 Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. 9 Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.
c. In the busy world of life today we need to get back to seeing that spending time with our family is healthy and wise.
T.S. – We need to promise to spend time with our moms this Mother’s Day and learn the value of family time together. Then we also need to promise to show respect to our mom’s.
II. I promise mom that I will respect her!
a. Leviticus 19:3: “Each of you must respect his mother and father, and you must observe my Sabbaths. I am the LORD your God.”
i. Jill Rigby stated, “Respect for ourselves guides our morals; respect for others guides our manners” (Raising Respectful Children in a Disrespectful World, page 11).
1. Rigby makes this observation about our society today: “When I was growing up, people weren’t perfect, but society was certainly more civil. The lines between right and wrong were clear. There was a sense of law and order. Teachers were teachers. So teachers taught. Parents were parents. So parents trained. Kids were kids. So kids obeyed. Respect for authority was paramount. Service to others and respect for property were natural elements of community. Teaching manners and instilling character were the cornerstones of public education. Parents looked at the right side of the report card (conduct) before they looked at the left (grades). Kids got in a lot of trouble if they were disrespectful to a teacher than if they made a B minus. Times past weren’t perfect, but they certainly had an attitude of respectfulness that’s now missing” (5).
a. Many have lost respect for not just their parents but for others as well.
b. So where did the society go wrong?
i. Jill says we bought into the lie that we need to replace self-respect with self-esteem. She expounds on this: “Parents today are still being told that the secret to raising healthy children is to build their self-esteem-praise’em in the morning, praise’em in the noontime, praise’em when the sun goes down. We’ve been told to never deny our children anything and to stand against anyone who dares to correct our little ones-all with the goal of helping our kids feel good about themselves…As a result of this emphasis on self-esteem, twenty-somethings are returning home rather than facing the world on their own…Many adolescents have no respect for authority because their parents didn’t command their respect. Instead, these parents gave too much and expected to little. In our attempt to build self-esteem in children, we have reared a generation of young people who are failing at life, haven’t a clue who they are, and are struggling to find a reason for living. These kids fall for the latest craze, healthy and unhealthy. It doesn’t matter, as long as they’re in the middle of it. They would rather die than give up their cell phones. And they feel that others have an obligation to serve them…Many people use the words self-esteem and self-respect synonymously, but I believe the two are worlds apart. When we seek to help kids feel good about themselves (the goal of self-esteem), we teach them to focus on themselves and how they feel and what they want. I believe this perspective keeps children from participating in the world; it encourages them to see everything as if looking into a mirror, so that they grow up believing , ‘It’s all about me.’ (pages 6-8).
1. We as parents need to come back to teaching children the discipline of respect for others.
2. We need to teach our kids to be respectful to us and others or when we get old they will not even respect us – because life will be all about them.
2. Rigby notes: “Parents who enroll their children in the School of Respect are undergirding their children’s formal education, because respect lies at the foundation of success. In an interesting study a few years ago, Albert Siegel, a noted researcher at Stanford University concluded: When it comes to rearing children, every society is only twenty years away from barbarism. Twenty years is all we have to accomplish the task of civilizing the infants who are born into our midst each year. These savages know nothing of our language, our culture, our religion, our values, our customs of interpersonal relations. The infant is totally ignorant about…respect, decency, honesty, customs, conventions and manners.” A bit harsh, perhaps, but a point well taken. God has given us twenty years to educate our children’s hearts and to train them to respect God, others, and self so that they can become respectful members of society who help, rather than hurt, the world” (32, 33).
a. We need to enforce respect toward others from our children and grandchildren.
b. The Bible is clear that parents deserve respect and those in authority also deserve respect - so we are the ones who need to do something about the disrespect that has invaded our current society and even into some of our kids and grand kids. We are the solution to this problem of disrespect!
i. We need to shield our families from the trash of this world that is rearing the ugly head of disrespect toward others.
1. I observe more Tv shows and movies promoting disrespect that that it grieves my spirit as I see it impacting our society as a whole.
ii. Rigby notes that the following areas need to shielded and monitored in our homes: Magazines, Books, Music, TV, Movies, and certain others.
1. We as parents must bear the burden to shield the eyes and the ears of our children from the hurtful images and messages that are bombarding our children today.
2. Magazines:
a. Jill challenges us to look at what your teens are looking at standing in the line at the grocery store.
i. The magazines reveal sexual images, sexual innuendoes and taunt you with soft porn images.
ii. She notes that soft porn is rampant in teen magazines like Como Girl, Elle Girl, Young Miss, Teen Vogue, to just name a few.
iii. Here are some of the titles of the articles in some of these magazines that 10 year olds are buying and reading (page 119):
1. “Sex Special”
2. “Hot tips, Toys and More”
3. “How to Score Like You’re on Vacation Every Day”
4. “Your Hot Summer Sex and Love”
5. “Sex Talk”
6. “Find His Dominant Sense and Send Him into Orbit”
7. “I Stole My Best Friend’s Boyfriend”
b. Watch they types of books they are reading;
i. Jill says the series being read by many kids and young teens today are reading “Gossip Girl” the series promotes self-gratification: The books are send these messages (page 120-121):
1. “That lesbian sex is cool”
2. “That Value is in your status not your character”
3. “There are no boundaries”
4. “Promiscuity is acceptable”
5. “With enough money you can get away with anything, and if you don’t have enough money, you can pretend.”
a. Jill notes that these books are sold in the Children’s section of most book stores and are on the best seller lists.
c. Music: She challenges us to listen to some of the music that is being played into the ears of our kids and teens and she notes its twisting their perception of respect toward you as parents and to others.
i. The truth is society is not drawing a line anymore and neither is the music industry and the reality check is we as parents must draw the line for our kids and teens.
ii. Lamentations 2:19 states, “Arise, cry out in the night, as the watches of the night begin; pour out your heart like water in the presence of the Lord. Lift up your hands to him for the lives of your children.”
d. Tv and movies are spilling out the attitude of disrespect toward others and promoting a self-centered approach to life.
c. We must understand that for us to get respect we must teach respect and even enforce respect toward others in our children. If we fail to do it now then we will not get it later in life.
i. Respect is taught not caught!
d. We also need to act respectful toward our children and this means when we discipline them – do it with respect but teach that life is not all about them!
T.S. – Not only do parents deserve our respect but we also and desire it but we also need to promise our godly moms that we will listen to their wise teachings and insights for living.
III. I promise mom that I will listen to her Godly advice and teachings!
a. Deuteronomy 21:18-19: 8If a man has a stubborn and rebellious son who does not obey his father and mother and will not listen to them when they discipline him, 19his father and mother shall take hold of him and bring him to the elders at the gate of his town.
i. In the Bible it becomes clear from the Old Testament that obedience was enforced not just by the family but by society.
ii. Children were forced to listen and to obey their Godly parents or there would be civil consequences.
iii. Could you imagine if the society enforced that children needed to obey their Godly parents?
b. Deut 31:12-13: Assemble the people—men, women and children, and the aliens living in your towns—so they can listen and learn to fear the LORD your God and follow carefully all the words of this law. 13Their children, who do not know this law, must hear it and learn to fear the LORD your God as long as you live in the land you are crossing the Jordan to possess.”
i. In this passage we once again see God’s Word telling parents and society that the children must learn to respect and obey God’s teachings and instructions.
ii. They must even learn to have a holy fear of God and what could happen if they disobeyed His teachings.
c. Proverbs 1:8, 9: Listen, my son, to your father’s instruction and do not forsake your mother’s teaching. They will be a garland to grace your head and a chain to adorn your neck.
i. As we progress into the book of wisdom we see again the stressing of listening to the advice and direction from our Godly parents.
ii. We are warned not to forsake or abandon this teaching because it will be a medal of honor to wear throughout our life.
iii. This willingness to listen and obey our parents will help us to attain the garland of grace from God into our lives.
d. Proverbs 6:20-23: 20 My son, keep your father’s commands and do not forsake your mother’s teaching. 21 Bind them upon your heart forever; fasten them around your neck. 22 When you walk, they will guide you; when you sleep, they will watch over you; when you awake, they will speak to you. 23 For these commands are a lamp, this teaching is a light, and the corrections of discipline are the way to life…”
i. Once again the book of wisdom tells us not to forsake the teachings and the commands of our Godly parents.
ii. It tells us to attach them to our necks – to our minds and even into our hearts.
iii. Why?
1. Because they will guide us down the right path.
2. Because they will protect us from evil and from taking the wrong path.
3. Because they will lead us into the light of life.
e. Proverbs 23:22-25: 22 Listen to your father, who gave you life, and do not despise your mother when she is old. 23 Buy the truth and do not sell it; get wisdom, discipline and understanding. 24 The father of a righteous man has great joy; he who has a wise son delights in him. 25 May your father and mother be glad; may she who gave you birth rejoice!
i. The book of wisdom tells us to buy into the truth! Sell everything you have an buy truth – don’t sell it for temporary pleasure and for sin.
ii. When you choose to buy into truth you get wisdom, discipline and understanding that will help you to succeed in life.
iii. This ability to hold onto truth will make your parent happy and joyful because a child who forsakes truth becomes a burden on his parents because of the consequences of sin.
f. Proverbs 19:20: Listen to advice and accept instruction, and in the end you will be wise.
i. If you learn the lesson of Proverbs and listen to your Godly mother and father then you will grow up and be considered very wise in the eyes of the world and of the Lord.
T.S. – We need to promise our godly moms that we will listen to their Spirit led advice and instruction so life will go well for us! Then I also need to promise my mom one more thing this Mother’s Day.
IV. I promise mom that I will ________________________?
a. I left this point blank because I want you to fill in the blank for your own mom – now I do know that some of your mothers may have already gone home to be with the lord so then I want you to promise the Lord something and do it for His glory (In honor of your mom).
Conclusion:
So we need to promise our moms the following:
1. That we will spend time with them!
2. That we will respect them like the Bible commands us too.
3. That we will listen to their Godly counsel.
4. That we will promise to do that one special thing for our moms this Mother’s Day!
