Clearing the Air: Common Misconceptions about Women
Introduction:
Today is Mother’s Day. It is a day we set aside to honor our mothers. Mother’s Day just like Father’s Day, but with flowers, cards, gifts, and meals. There is a lot of confusion about women. In fact I am confused about women and perhaps I need someone to better explain women to me. If I better understood women then perhaps it would keep me out of trouble. Women are difficult to understand. For example when a woman says, “Okay” that may really mean “no”. I am just kidding I love women, my mother was actually one. If it wasn’t for women we wouldn’t be here would we? It is because of that that we celebrate a Mother’s Day. Our mother’s have taught us a lot of things haven’t they.
My mother taught me religion: When I spilled juice on the carpet, she instructed, "You better pray the stain will come out of the carpet." My mother taught me logic: From her decisive words, "Because I said so, that’s why." My mother taught me foresight: "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you’re in an accident." My mother taught me irony: "Keep laughing and I’ll give you something to cry about." My mother taught me about stamina: "You’ll sit there ’til all that spinach is finished." My mother taught me about weather: "It looks as if a tornado swept through your room." My mother taught me the circle of life: "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out." My mother taught me about behavior modification: "Stop acting like your father!" My mother taught me about envy: "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don’t have a wonderful Mom like you do!"
We live in a world where there is a lot of confusion about women and their role in the home and in the church. I believe that it is important for us to clear the air and to address the subject of women. What better time to deal with these misconceptions than on Mother’s Day?
Text: I Peter 3:1-6
I. Women Are Not As Spiritual As Men
One day Adam and his boys were out for a walk and happened upon the Garden of Eden. One of the boys said, “Dad, what is that place?” Adam responded, “Guys, that’s where your mother ate us out of house and home.”
Perhaps no one would outright say it, but it sure does seem like some people act as if women are spiritually inferior to men. It seems like many times people view learning the Scriptures and applying them as part of a man’s responsibility. I do not believe women are spiritually inferior to men. In fact women are often the backbone of a church. You hear of countless stories of women faithfully coming to church, perhaps brining their children without their husbands. You hear of instances of it happening the other way, but the majority of the time the women in the church are faithful and dependable. I might also add that often times women are more constant in their character. You hear every now and then of women doing immoral things, but more often than not it is not women going over the deep end morally.
The Barna Research Online reports; 7 out of every 10 women say they are deeply spiritual compared only 5 out of 10 men. 46% of U.S. women hold beliefs that classify them as born again, compared to 36% of men.
Many men here would agree that their wives are simply better people than they are. I have always heard it said that women are the last moral fabric of a society and when the women of a society begin to slip morally it is bad news from there.
I heard a little story about a husband who took his wife out on a little lake to teach her how to fish. When they finished and got back home, the neighbor asked her how she did. The wife replied, “Well, I am not sure. According to my husband, I did everything wrong. First, he said I was moving around too much in the boat. Then he said I was talking too much and chased the fish away. Next, he made fun of the way I baited the hook. Lastly, he said ugly words to me because I didn’t wait long enough before reeling in my line. I guess I am not a fisherman, but I did catch more fish than he did.”
Perhaps some people would not think of women as spiritual giants and perhaps when they think of the heroes of the faith perhaps men come to mind.
1. Women have the same character expectations
There is no exception clauses in the commands of Scripture based on one’s gender. Men and women have the same character expectations and that is that we be holy as God is holy.
2. Women are judged on the same standard
Men and women though different in many ways are still going to be judged by the same standard and that is the Word of God. I do not think judgment will be any more or less harsh because of a person’s gender.
3. Women are individuals who matter to God
We learn a profound truth and that is in Christ we are all one. Perhaps is a Jewish and Greek society dominated by males this would have been even more profound. In Christ we are all individuals who matter to God and that transcend age, gender, race, and social-economic standing.
Galatians 3:26-29
The church is not like the world. In the world we may be elevated based on whatever reason, but in the church we are all equal in Christ. The one who may be our superior at work may be our brother or sister in the church. The one looked down upon because of their appearance or the color of their skin may be our brother or sister in the church. The slave in the ancient world may have been subordinate to his master, but in the church the two were equals.
II. Woman Are Not As Valuable As Men
The history of how women have been viewed is not necessarily a pretty picture. To many cultures women have been seen as less valuable then men and as inferior in every way. The ancients saw women as being nothing more than a piece of property and often times were mistreated. The Muslims view women as inferior to men. Muhammad once said, “A cheap rug is more valuable in a man’s home than a woman.” The Koran advocates and calls husbands even to beat their wives if they are out of line. To Muslims women are viewed as less intelligent and less spiritual. A woman cannot even be used as a witness in court because they are viewed as intellectually inferior. Other Muslim writers have described women s lacking in intelligence, lustful, silly, weak, and childlike. While many societies have cast their women off as second class and as less valuable to society then males, I am here today to tell you that woman have equal value in a society and equal value in the Kingdom of God. If it was not for the women of American society we as a nation would be in trouble because women have been a backbone of the home. The role of women ought not be undermined or discredited in our society or in the church.
There have been some that have read the Bible and concluded that Jesus and many of the New Testament writers were women haters because of some of the things written. Many people take offense to passages calling women to submit to their husbands and the clear and distinct differentiation in roles, however Jesus did more for women’s rights than any person who ever lives. When Jesus came onto the scene and he brought a message that all could come to Him and when Paul wrote that there is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female, but we are all one in Christ it was a radical concept in a society that devalued women.
Perhaps I am a bit old fashioned, but I really believe men and women are different.
One man said, "God, why did you make women so soft and beautiful?" God said, "So you’d love them." Then the man asked, "Then, God, why did you make women so illogical and emotional?" God said, "So they’d love you!"
Well, men and women are indeed different from one another. I believe men and women are wired differently. I believe men and women have different strengths and different weaknesses. Perhaps that is part of the beauty of a marriage relationship, when a man and woman become one flesh they complement one another and where one person might be weak the other might be strong. While I believe men and women are unique from one another in their personality I also believe that men and woman have different roles. Now, different does not mean less or more important it simply means different.
a. In the Church
I do not believe that women are disposable in the church. I do not believe that men have a more important role in the kingdom than women; in fact I believe that over the years if it wasn’t for the faithfulness of man godly women the church would not be where it is today. If it wasn’t for mothers who raised their children in the Lord and brought their children to church, taught them the Scriptures and imparted values to them then many people in the Lord today would be lost. I believe women have had and do have a vital role in the church. Paul understood the vital role that various women played in his ministry. On numerous occasions he took the time to personally thank women who labored with him or who were a help to his work. He saw their work as an equal part of his ministry. I am thankful for the godly women in the church today without who the church would be in trouble. I am thankful for the godly ladies who have taught Sunday school classes faithfully for years. I am thankful for the wives who have been a constant encouragement to their husbands. Women serve a vital role in the kingdom today; however it is not the same role as men.
I believe leadership in the church has been reserved for men. It is my belief that not only does the church need more men to step up to the plate as godly leaders, but the church desperately needs godly women. Paul outlines in I Timothy 2 that women were not to teach or to have authority over a man. Later when qualifications are given for the offices of elder and deacon in the church one of the requirements was that they be male, and if that is the case then what in the world can women do in the church if women cannot preach or be elders? What is the role in the kingdom? Let me assure you that women have more value in the kingdom than just preparing food for our fellowship meals. People tend to look at what Paul taught Timothy and look at what women cannot do, but fail to understand there is far more that they can do then they are forbidden to do. I believe women have a role in the church. They can teach younger women how they ought to act. They can teach children. They have a role in setting an example for others to follow. Women can pray, they can encourage, they can sing, they can prepare communion, they can cook, and they can use whatever talents they have to upbuild the kingdom, they can show their generosity. They can share their faith and they can develop their character.
I wish we had more women like Priscilla in the church today who understood their value in the kingdom and their responsibility to reach the lost and build the kingdom.
Acts 18:24-26
I believe many women do not uphold their role in the church today because they do not know what their role is. They do not know exactly what they can do. Perhaps some feel that all they can do is come to church and sit quietly. Let me assure you that women have a vital role in the kingdom that is called to do far more than it is ever forbidden.
b. In the Home
I believe men and women have different roles in the home as well. Again, different does not mean less important, but it simply means different. It is my opinion that when those God ordained roles become blurred then it creates problems in the home. I believe women have a great value in the home, but like in the church I believe leadership has been reserved for the men. We all are thankful for women and their devotion to the home. That is why we make a big hoopla over mother’s day and giving honor and showing appreciation to the ones who did so much in the home. Many times it is the women who shoulder most of the load in the home. The few times I have been home with both kids my appreciation has grown tremendously for what Stephanie is able to do. She is able to take care of the kids, keep them well fed, play with them, teach them, clean the house, and many times have a meal ready for me. I have no idea where she finds time to do all that she does. Women in the home are almost like superheroes. If you take a woman out of the home and it will create all sorts of problems and leave gaping holes to be filled. The responsibility of both a man and a woman in the home is great. Men have a responsibility to be the leaders in the home. This does not mean that women are out of the loop or that they have no say. Women have great responsibilities in the home
Titus 2:3-5
In that passage we see what women ought to learn and many of those things are their responsibility in the home. Now, why would Paul emphasize imparting these things on to younger women? Because women are vital to the success of a home. Because the home is vital to the church and to the world. If the home begins to falter it will affect the church. If the home crumbles it will affect the world. We need to once again place emphasis and value on the home because many of our problems have come because of the breakdown of the home, because God’s ideal is being ignored and because proper lines are being blurred between husband and wife. I believe a home functions at its best when God’s ideal is kept in the home by both a man and woman.
1. As A Helper
Women have a responsibility to be a helper to their husbands. This is not a man-made concept, this is a God ordained concept. This is not a new idea or a cultural idea, but it is one that was established at creation.
Genesis 2:18-24
I have heard it said that man was not complete without woman and after woman he was finished. In all sincerity those that are here that are married are thankful for the helper they have in their wife. Being the helpmeet in the home is a difficult task that is often thankless, but it is a vital role.
2. As A Teacher
II Timothy 1:5
We need more Eunice and Lois’ in homes today who stand up and impart the Scriptures to their children. What a joy it is when those children grow up like Timothy to make a great difference in the kingdom. Mothers have an opportunity, a privilege and a responsibility to help teach their children the Word of God and more importantly to model to their children a person of character.
III. Where Woman Find their Value
One of the greatest problems today is that women are finding their value and worth in all the wrong areas.
I heard a story about a woman who fell out of a second-floor window and landed in a slow-moving garbage truck. Half-buried in the litter, she tried without success to get the truck-driver’s attention. A foreign diplomat standing on the sidewalk saw her and quipped, “Another example of how wasteful Americans are. That woman looks like she’s good for at least another 10 years.”
a. Not in Outer Appearances
Many women attempt to find their value in their outer appearances. Millions and millions of dollars are spent each year by women seeking to have better appearances. However, women who find their value and worth in outer appearances are going to be quickly disappointed.
Proverbs 31:30
They will be disappointed because this Proverb is true, beauty is fleeting. I understand the desire to look good. I work very hard to look as good as I do, but the reality is we won’t keep these looks forever will we. Some of you women look in the mirror in the morning and say to yourself, “Who are you and what have you done with the real me.”
A young woman asked for an appointment with her preacher to talk with him about a besetting sin about which she was worried. When she saw him, she said, "Preacher, I have become aware of a sin in my life which I cannot control. Every time I am at church I begin to look around at the other women, and I realize that I am the prettiest one in the whole congregation. None of the others can compare with my beauty. What can I do about this sin?" The preacher replied, "Mary, that’s not a sin, why that’s just a mistake!"
I Peter 3:1-6
We need more spiritual daughters of Sarah who understand that our true value does not come by outward adornment. I wish some of our younger women understood this truth because many of them spend so much time and effort adorning themselves. Many of them think that if they have nicer clothes, a more fit and shapely body, a nicer hairdo, more makeup to cover up more blemishes, more fancy jewelry (bling bling), and less modesty than people will really value them. That is why so many young girls who in striving to maintain a perfect Barbie like figure struggle with things like eating disorders. Ladies let me assure you that anyone who only values you for those things isn’t worth having. You can be drop dead beautiful and guys can stare at you, but if they value for those things that is pretty shallow isn’t it. Moreover, what will happen to that value when you get older, when you gain weight, when you figure changes and you get on the level with the bubble in the middle, when your skin begins to sag and you begin to wrinkle? Perhaps that is why the Scriptures give instructions to women about dressing modestly.
I Timothy 2:9-10
Now, this raises two questions in my mind. First, why the command for women to dress modestly? The answer is because our worth and value is deeper. It is because women who do not dress modestly are not seeking to have their lives point others to God, but to draw attention to themselves. Now many have the, “if you got it flaunt it” attitude, but that isn’t what the Scriptures teach. The second question is what is modest? Your idea of dressing modest may differ from someone else’s. I guess a good principle is if it isn’t on the menu don’t show it.
Let us understand, both men and women that our value is not based on outer appearances for God does not look at outer appearances, but he looks at the heart. Perhaps instead of trying so hard to maintain a great physique and beautiful body we ought to become inwardly beautiful and strive to have value that lasts and lasts with who values us. We are valuable because God made us and we find our value in our character and not our appearances.
b. not in their jobs, education or accomplishments
While women are equal and there is nothing wrong with women being educated or working outside their value is not based on those things nor is a man’s based on those things. I really believe that radical feminism and the woman’s liberation movement have been detrimental to our society and have led to the breakdown of the family system in America. From those movements people have taken the idea that the only way a woman kind find value and success is outside of the home. Many problems in America and morality came from woman leaving the home. It is not the working outside the home that is negative it is the neglect of the family. The number of working women in the U.S. has more than doubled in the last 30 years, to 60 million.
It has become a negative trait for a woman to be a stay at home mom. Many stay at home mothers feel they need to justify their decision and validate themselves for their decision. I believe the women that chose to stay home when asked what they do for a living ought to say “I’m socializing Homo-sapiens in Judeo-Christian values so they’ll appropriate the eschatological values of utopia. What do you do?”
c. Not in Domestic Duties
A 15 yr old boy came bounding into the house and found his mom in bed. He asked if she was sick or something. He was truly concerned! Mom replied that, as a matter of fact, she didn’t feel too well. The son replied, “Well, don’t worry about dinner, I’ll be happy to carry you down to the stove”
On the other hand, women’s value does not come simply because they can cook, clean house and sew. Those things are not bad and may even be admirable, but that is not where value is gained. Now, some domestic duties may be done out of love for family and is seen as an honor to a godly woman. Many of those traits are mentioned.
I Timothy 5:10
I do not believe a woman has to stay at home to be a good woman or a good mother. They value of a woman isn’t in domestic duties it is in their heart and in their character. Their heart might be revealed in some of those things, but it is not where they receive value or worth.
There used to be a time when words like “purity”, “submission”, and “respect” were positive traits of a woman. To many people those words are insults and are linked with a woman being weak. Some feel that is old fashioned and out dated, but let me assure you that those are still positive traits that should be present in a godly women in 2008.
Titus 2:3-5
The point is that your value does not come from outer appearances. All those passages emphasize where true value comes. It comes from our godly character. Each of those passages highlights not the outer beauty, but the importance of a inner beauty.
