The Golden Rule of Parenting
Family Matters 2007 Part 5
Text: Proverbs 3:1-6
Can you honestly think of any greater wisdom and hope for a child’s future than these?
The instruction of the father is more than just to have a knowledge of God, but to give yourself to knowing Him.
Parents, particularly dads, like it or not, it is you who develop in your child their first and most impressionable concepts of who God is.
I can think of few biblical examples of my point than can be found in the story of the Prodigal Son found in Luke15:12-24
Do unto your children as God would do unto them!
Within this parable we find seven components that make up the Golden Rule of Parenting. Those who are not parents today, apply these principles as your golden rule for mentoring.
1. Love them
We’re not told directly that “he loved them” but the unfolding of the story itself shows the depth of the Father’s love for his boys.
John 14:21
He who has My commandments and keeps them, it is he who loves Me. And he who loves Me will be loved by My Father, and I will love him and manifest Myself to him."
1 John 4:7-9
7 Beloved, let us love one another, for love is of God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God. 8 He who does not love does not know God, for God is love. 9 In this the love of God was manifested toward us, that God has sent His only begotten Son into the world, that we might live through Him.
The power of the Father’s love is that it was not just manuscript, it was manifested! - He didn’t just say it, he SHOWED it.
2. Listen to them
Don’t think for a moment that the response of the father was a snap decision.
• What the boy was asking for took a lot of planning to execute.
• We are not given the dialog between the words “give me my portion” and “so he divided to them…” but you can be sure there was, from the Father, much persuasion to stay in the house.
Isaiah 65:24
"It shall come to pass That before they call, I will answer; And while they are still speaking, I will hear.
Jeremiah 29:12
Then you will call upon Me and go and pray to Me, and I will listen to you.
• I am always amazed at the reaction of people in counseling. I repeat something from an earlier conversation and get “Wow, you really listen to me”.
• Jacey cupping my cheeks in her hands.
• If your children believe that they “have your ear” and are heard by you, you will have their heart in return.
3. Provide for them
Jeremiah 45:5
And do you seek great things for yourself? Do not seek them; for behold, I will bring adversity on all flesh," says the Lord. "But I will give your life to you as a prize in all places, wherever you go."
Philippians 4:19
And my God shall supply all your need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus.
Necessities – promised!
“Good things”
“Abundance”
“Lavish”
4. Chasten {or discipline} them
Do any other parents struggle with this area?
• Before we have children “My child will never..”
• Then, “my child couldn’t do that”
• To, “My child shouldn’t do that”
• Followed by “My child did what?”
We withhold correction because of our own inperfection
• “well, I remember when I was that age…”
The Word says to train up a child in the way he should go, not in the ways you went!
That kind of response is an issue of guilt or shame on your part. Take that to Calvary, receive healing and instruct your kids in the way of the Lord.
Proverbs 19:18
Chasten your son while there is hope, And do not set your heart on his destruction.
Ephesians 6:4
And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord.
• Seek the balance in breaking the will while preserving the spirit - (read Psa 38 sometime today)
• IMPORTANT TRUTH: Sometimes correction is by your hand and other times by taking your hands off.
5. Forgive them
The father “Fell on his neck” He didn’t grab him around it!
A few principles on forgiveness:
i. Forgiveness is always available but is manifest in the life of the offender only in repentance.
ii. Forgiveness does not always mean freedom.
1. Sometime there is still a penalty to be paid.
2. The son came home without his inheritance.
3. We do our children an injustice by always fixing, always excusing….
6. Believe in them
While the son was “squandering” his living, where was the Father? WATCHING for the son to return.
He never lost hope, He had a purpose for his son
Jeremiah 29:11
For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.
• He had a plan for his son’s future
• He never lost hope that the son would return
Don’t loose hope mom, get a Word from God and hold on!
7. Restore them
“This my son was dead, but is alive again”.
Some situations create a struggle with restoration.
Perhaps there are barricades to physical restoration, - The first step, and perhaps the only one you can personally take would be restoration in a spiritual sense.
The boy was restored to son-ship before he was brought back into fellowship.
Let’s Pray
A note from Pastor Terry,
Thanks so much for looking over this message. I trust that, in some way, you were blessed, encouraged and empowered on your own walk with Christ. Every message I prepare is bathed in prayer that God will draw, inspire, and challenge my listeners (or readers) into a more meaningful and power-filled walk with Him.
Pastors, how we need one another! We need to be encouraged, strengthened and built up in order to encourage, strengthen and build up. It’s my personal prayer that the message you’ve just reviewed has done that for you in a personal way. Use what you can of this message, toss what you can’t and above all, let God’s Spirit inspire it all!
Sometimes I feel like Peter and John at the Temple steps…”Silver and gold; I don’t have but what I do – I give to you”
Grace and peace to you, your family and the Flock you tend.
Pastor Terry
