Overcoming the sins of our families
1 Kings 15:9-15
In the brief story of Asa a string of family problems dominates. Yet Asa stands out as one of the kings who did what God wanted. He was not without problems of his own, but he was able to overcome his family’s influence and live a life pleasing to God anyway.
In the twentieth year of Jeroboam king of Israel, Asa became king of Judah, and he reigned in Jerusalem forty-one years. His grandmother’s name was Maacah daughter of Abishalom. Asa did what was right in the eyes of the LORD, as his father David had done. He expelled the male shrine prostitutes from the land and got rid of all the idols his fathers had made. He even deposed his grandmother Maacah from her position as queen mother, because she had made a repulsive Asherah pole. Asa cut the pole down and burned it in the Kidron Valley. Although he did not remove the high places, Asa’s heart was fully committed to the LORD all his life. He brought into the temple of the LORD the silver and gold and the articles that he and his father had dedicated. (1 Kings 15:9-15 NIV)
Look at the family situation
Rehoboam strays from the path of wisdom and tries to be tough, splitting the kingdom – conflict with the Northern kingdom is the rule of his reign
Abijah, his son is sinful, followed in the footsteps of both his father and his mother, who was probably the daughter or grand daughter of Absolom, David’s son.
Abijah seems to have ruled along side his father who was usually away at war. When his father died, he continued the wars with Israel in the North.
It is in this environment that Asa is born and begins his reign. He is the great-great grandson of David and he has a bit of his ancestor in him. He determined to follow Godly practices in his public policy.
When he did this, he was bucking a powerful family system. Paganism had been established as an acceptable thing by his great-grandfather Solomon.
His grandmother, Maacah, had erected an Asherah pole. Asherah was a fertility goddess of the Canaanites, usually associated with Baal. Their shrines were often placed side by side. The Asherah shrine was a tall, thick pole made of a stripped tree trunk. Women often venerated Asherah, believing that she would help them have children.
The woman herself was powerful. In ancient times, the Queen Mother was incredibly influential. The position was reserved for the mother of the king. In these societies, the king had many wives, and it was somewhat uncertain which one would bear the son who would be the next king. Many times, no single wife would rise to the power of queen. When a son actually took the throne and overcame his rivals, that’s when the mother of the king became clear. She was also a direct link back to the former king and usually represented conservative policies.
The power of Maacah is evident. In spite of the fact that her son Abijah had 14 wives, including Asa’s mother, she held on to the position of Queen Mother, for two genrations. Asa had no wife strong enough to take the authority of queen. His own mother did not take the position. So his grandmother must have been an imposing person.
• A great-grandfather who was Solomon and had introduced paganism
• A grandfather who had divided the kingdom
• A father who maintained constant war with the neighbors
• A grandmother who was a powerful and persistent queen and a strong proponent of paganism
As Asa took the throne, he had incredible family inertia and tradition to overcome. He was not perfect. 2 Chronicles records some of his failures. But if he was to follow in the footsteps of David, he had an up-hill road to trudge.
Perhaps you can identify with Asa
Nobody gets a perfect family. All our histories have some rough spots.
In my family, we have a few powerful and very bad generational habits:
• Epidemic divorce
• Destructive substance abuse
• Widespread sexual promiscuity
• Bigotry
• Violence
There are Christians in our family, some very active and devoted. But these nearly genetic problems have plagued our family and continue to do so. How do we express appropriate love for our families and still forge ahead with the kind of life that God has called us to lead?
Asa was in a tight spot. The throne of Judah was not just a political office, it was a ministry and a calling. The responsibility to be the anointed of God among His Chosen People was an awesome responsibility. If he was to succeed, he had some difficult decisions to make. Some of those decisions involved breaks with his family’s traditions and behaviors.
Like Asa, we too have an awesome responsibility
And we can take a cue from his personal guiding practices
He relied on God
First Kings does not tell the story of the battle brought to him by an African king. Asa had an army of 300,000. His enemy was 1,000,000 strong. Knowing that he could not win in human terms, he called out to God for protection and his army held the day.
A prophet came to him and promised him God’s blessings if he would continue to call on Him. It was after this that he began his massive reforms. He was overcoming about 40 years of public policy tolerant to pagan influence.
In overthrowing these influences, he was declaring where his own faith lay. He was going to ally himself to God and no other. This was a huge step.
When your family does not understand or embrace your faith, you must rely on God. Prayer is your greatest support system. Pray for your family, all the time, every day. Make sure that you are talking about the situation, especially points of disagreement with God.
Remember, the point of departure is not about you, it is about God. If it ever becomes about you in your mind, it is time to reassess your reasons for expressing your faith the way you do.
I have a friend whose wife forced him to choose between his church and his marriage. In a situation like that, we must ask ourselves what about our faith practices are driving a wedge in our family. We must be honest.
If it is the way you do things, and about activities that are a matter of choice, perhaps you can find a way to express your faith without compromise, but still keep harmony in your family. Ministry does not sacrifice family. Family may distance themselves because of ministry, but the minister does not drive the distance.
But if it is your faith that bugs them and their attack is on God, you must rely on Him to defend Himself
He made a firm decision
When Asa decided that he was going to do what God wanted, he did not back down. He stopped short of going the whole distance, but the pleasure of the people, and the power of his family did not stop him. Getting rid of the shrine prostitutes could not have been a popular decision. His disposition and attitude is described with a simple line:
Asa’s heart was fully committed to the LORD all his life
Is yours?
How is your heart? Is it fully committed to God?
I have seen some folks use church and their church activities as a way of avoiding other things. I did it myself when I was a child. In these situations, our faith becomes a smoke screen and an excuse.
God forbid
Church and ministry activities are an important part of your faith, but they are not the totality of it. In fact, the essence of your faith is quite personal and internal.
As our spiritual life and our friendship with God becomes more and more important to us, that situation will be apparent to others. Our family will notice, not just a change in behavior, but a change in our heart. What we do becomes less important than the reason we do it.
If Jesus is a stumbling block to your family, this may not make a noticeable difference, but your biggest concern is maintaining an honest and active search for the face of God. It is to open your ears to hear His voice and when you do, to obey.
He refused to indulge himself or promote ungodly practices
Overthrowing these influences was not a metaphor. We talk about overthrowing something when we displace it or surpass it in power. For Asa, it involved physically destroying pagan shrines and driving out pagan priests. He cut down the pole and burned it.
There is work involved in making the decision to fully commit our hearts to God. We must learn to recognize and resist the influences in our lives that would replace God.
• We have friends who want to involve us in things we shouldn’t do
• We read or watch things that suggest spiritual or moral paths that we should not walk
• We have pastimes that absorb our best time and attention
• There are sins to which we are tempted time and again and sometimes we fall
Like Asa, we have to take new action to avoid these influences. If what we have tried before has not worked, it is time to try something new.
• Maybe you thought you could handle it and you just keep trying to handle it
• Maybe you thought ignoring the problem would make it go away
• Maybe it is time to take a firmer stand to avoid the temptation itself.
Imagine a fish
This fish really likes minnows
So Mr. Fish swims around the edges of the pond where minnows live in the shallows. He has had several close calls at the north end when he thought he saw a minnow, but narrowly escaped when he felt a hook as he bit down and he swam away.
Twice, he bit and actually got caught, but thankfully once he was able to wiggle off while he was being reeled in, and once the fisherman thought he was too small and let him go. He has learned that the shallows on the North end of the pond is where he always encounters the hook.
Mr. Fish has a choice to make.
• He can avoid the North end and find minnows elsewhere
• He can change his diet and start going after bugs instead of minnows
• Or he can keep doing the same thing he has always done, think:
• Hey, I’ve been caught twice, and I’m still around
• I’ve felt the hook and escaped more times than that, I can handle it
• I know where the danger is
• I’ll just be smarter and keep my eyes peeled for those hooks
• .... hey, that’s a big juicy minnow
If you don’t want to get caught by the hook, stay away from the bait!
Who knows why Asa took such a hard stand against those pagan shrines, perhaps they were a temptation to him. Certainly they were a temptation to his people and he could not feed their weakness.
The more our lives reflect accurately the priorities of the gospel and the more we are transformed by His grace, the more our families will understand the place God has in your life. If we dance on the edge of temptation and sin, and we purposely neglect the holiness God calls us to, then we are sending mixed signals. Mistakes will happen, but they should be recognizable as mistakes and not slipping over the cliff where we have been spending too much time.
He did not allow his family to decide how he would handle his wider responsibilities
He fired his own grandmother. That would be harsh enough if it was that simple. But Queen Mother was not a position just anybody could apply for. And kings and queens can be notoriously ruthless when it comes to holding on to power. This could be no easy task.
Mennonites and Amish folks are seen as being quite intolerant because of the strong stand on shunning that used to be the norm all through the Mennonite Church. If a family member strayed and was unrepentant, he or she was distanced from the family. Lancaster Conference does not do this so readily as we used to.
It is a fine line to walk. Asa gives us a little guidance. The Bible does not say he disowned his grandmother, it just says he removed her from her position. I’m sure that didn’t go down easy, but he was bound to make sure that she did not hurt his people spiritually.
There is no promise that your faith will not cause friction in your family. In fact, Jesus indicates that this will often be the case. When you accept Christ, and others in your family do not, it is bound to be a topic of tension.
• If your family does not want to go to church, you go anyway
• If your family does not respect your prayers, find a way to pray anyway
• If your family does not understand your ministry or your gifts to God, do your best to explain it and forge ahead
• If your family does not understand your refusal to do the same old sins, be strong and courageous, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go
When this happens, we must have the fortitude to choose Christ. We must treat our families with love, knowing that we are their witness to the Truth. We must not needlessly alienate them or be abrasive. We must take pains to differentiate between their person and their attitudes about Christ: reject the attitudes and not the person.
This does not apply to children, of course. Parents have many reasons for asking children to do and not to do things that go way beyond faith. They involve issues of safety and behavior that are many times beyond the child’s ability to understand.
Young people, it is God’s will, according to His word, that you obey your parents. Express your faith to them and allow them to guide you in your friendship with Jesus. If they are leading you wrong, God will take care of it.
The Lord warned us
He told us that following Him might not be accepted by our families. It may be painful, but it should not be a total surprise when it happens. The fact is that we are the first and best witnesses of God’s love to our families. When our transformation is evident at home, when God’s love is apparent at home, it is reaching the most significant levels of our external lives.
Jesus in us will be attractive to some, and a stumbling block to others. This may be uncomfortable for us. But our priorities remain the same:
• Prayer
• A steadfast heart
• An avoidance of sin
• And a refusal to compromise
These attitudes, exercised in love and honesty with ourselves present the best possible picture of what being a Christian is all about.
