We’re in this series called, “Made to Count – Am I Living a Life that Matters?”
Last week in chapter one of John’s letter we discovered that FELLOWSHIP is one of the keys to living a life that matters. We’ve got to interact with others according to God’s instructions in order to live a satisfying and meaningful life. We need to share our joy through living authentically, taking our masks off and consistently confessing to God when we sin.
In chapter two of John’s letter there’s another key word to add to FELLOWSHIP.
LOVE.
This is the second integral part of a living a life that matters. We definitely can’t live a life that matters if we don’t experience and share love. I think even most people who don’t profess to follow Christ would acknowledge that.
But the emphasis John makes in this chapter is that our LOVE must be the right kind of love.
Apparently one married couple had not been expressing the right kind of love toward one another. This rich lady had her $100,000 Rolls Royce up for sale and she was only asking $100 for it. A prospective buyer asked why it was so cheap. She explained: “It was in my late husband’s will that I sell the car and give the money to his beautiful secretary.”
Or another couple. After weeks of getting the cold shoulder from his wife, an unhappy husband finally confronted her. “Admit it Linda,” he said, “The only reason you married me is because my grandfather left me ten million dollars!” “Don’t be ridiculous!” she shot back. “I don’t care who left it to you.”
We must love in the right way. We have to take our love to the highest levels in order to live a life that matters. Just like our fellowship must be the right kind of fellowship, our love must be the right kind of love if we would experience the best that God has for us.
This is vital. If you love, and all human beings experience love on some level, but if you love yet don’t learn how to love on anything higher than the natural, basic levels, then you won’t live the meaningful life God created you to live. It’s that simple.
Here’s the deal. Each one of us can experience love on four different levels – and the higher the level of our love goes - the greater our gratification of living a life that matters.
That’s why I want to talk to you today about “The four levels of love.” If we try to live a satisfying, meaningful life by merely loving on the easy levels of love, if we never get off the ground floor of love, then we’ll be disappointed when it comes to living a life that matters.
It’s not until our love matures, and grows and ascends to the highest levels that we begin to experience the meaningful life God intended for us. It’s really very simple but it’s still often overlooked.
Let’s begin by looking at the very lowest levels of love from 1 John chapter two.
I. Loving the world’s ways.
This is the lowest level. This is the level that every one of us has lived on at one time or another. Sadly, this is one of only two levels of love some people ever care about. And living on this base level assures us of NOT living a life that matters. To understand this lowest level of love look at this key passage from the Apostle John’s letter.
15 Do not love this world nor the things it offers you, for when you love the world, you do not have the love of the Father in you. 16 For the world offers only a craving for physical pleasure, a craving for everything we see, and pride in our achievements and possessions. These are not from the Father, but are from this world. 17 And this world is fading away, along with everything that people crave. But anyone who does what pleases God will live forever. 1 John 2:15-17 (NLT)
Now look at this same passage from a paraphrase of this Bible passage.
"Don’t love the world’s ways. Don’t love the world’s goods. Love of the world squeezes out love for the Father. Practically everything that goes on in the world—wanting your own way, wanting everything for yourself, wanting to appear important—has nothing to do with the Father. It just isolates you from him. The world and all its wanting, wanting, wanting is on the way out—but whoever does what God wants is set for eternity." 1 John 2:15-17 (Msg)
This level of love is natural to all of us and yet the Bible tells us that it is the level of love that we’re NOT supposed live on. It’s an inbred part of our sinful nature. Loving the world’s ways and the world’s goods comes naturally to us because this level of love appeals to the next level. Actually the first and second levels of love are integrally related.
II. Love for self.
You say, “what’s wrong with loving your self?”
Nothing wrong with the right kind of self-love, but here in 1 John 2 the Bible is talking about the wrong kind of love for self. Just like the right kind of love for the world is not wrong. God loves the world but He doesn’t love the world’s ways. The kind of love for self that is not spiritually healthy is depicted in the 16th verse of 1 John chapter 2 we just read. Look at it again.
"Practically everything that goes on in the world—wanting your own way, wanting everything for yourself, wanting to appear important—has nothing to do with the Father. It just isolates you from him." 1 John 2:16 (Msg)
Why does John tell us not to love the world’s ways and goods and consequently not to love having our own way and wanting everything for our selves and wanting to appear important? Because they have nothing to do with the Father and consequently these things fail to meet the expectations we have of them. We think loving the world’s ways and loving self in the wrong ways will provide fulfillment and satisfaction in life. But they don’t!
In fact, these first two levels of love feed on each other. We are tempted to love the world’s ways because this level of love provides for the wrong kind of self-love. This is immature love. It’s infant love. A baby loves selfishly because he or she doesn’t know any better. Infants don’t care what you’re doing if they need or want something. Their world centers all around them. And that’s okay for babies. But as you grow older you learn that self-centered love isn’t acceptable – it doesn’t satisfy. Seems like it would but it only isolates you. Not too many people want to put up with someone that is selfish.
Honestly ask yourself right now, “Do I place great emphasis on having my own way, wanting everything for myself, and wanting to appear important?” We may have fallen into these traps. And living by these mindsets may be part of the reason we don’t always get the satisfaction out of life we long for. We long for joy and satisfaction in life and they elude us because we’re pointed in the wrong direction.
We all have to admit that the world’s ways are attractive to us because it’s appealing to all of us to get “our own way, to have everything for ourselves, and to appear important.” Doesn’t this sound like a ripe description of our American culture today? So many want their own way, want to have everything for themselves and place this tremendous premium on appearing important! Fame is such a driving force in so many lives.
The catch is that living down on these two levels of love – love for the world’s ways and love for self – are very poor bases for living a meaningful life. They don’t fulfill us long-term. Instead, they disappoint us. We think they’re going to satisfy but they turn out to be spiritual junk food. That’s why God tells us here in His Word not to love the world’s ways. He has our best interest in mind.
It’s very sad. So many people are living such hollow lives and they don’t understand why. Here’s the answer. They’re living on the two levels of love that were never meant to be the extent of their experience when it comes to love.
So on what levels of love are we supposed to live if we are to experience the life that matters? If we want God to fill our lives with His joy, to what levels of love do we climb?
III. The third level of love is love for others.
Loving others is the next level up from loving the world’s ways and loving your self. If we’re going to love others we have to take our focus off of the two bottom levels of love. We have to take our eyes off of the allurements of the world and the love of self if we’re going to love others.
Loving others means we’re not so self-absorbed that we’re only thinking about our feelings but we also care about the feelings of others. We’re not just focused on how others are treating us but on how we’re treating them. We don’t just try to make sure our needs are met but we try to meet the needs of others.
7 Dear friends, I am not writing a new commandment for you; rather it is an old one you have had from the very beginning. This old commandment—to love one another—is the same message you heard before. 8 Yet it is also new. Jesus lived the truth of this commandment, and you also are living it. For the darkness is disappearing, and the true light is already shining. 9 If anyone claims, “I am living in the light,” but hates a Christian brother or sister, that person is still living in darkness. 10 Anyone who loves another brother or sister is living in the light and does not cause others to stumble. 11 But anyone who hates another brother or sister is still living and walking in darkness. Such a person does not know the way to go, having been blinded by the darkness. 1 John 2:7-10 (NLT)
In chapter one John says, “God is light,” and to walk in darkness means we don’t have fellowship with God. Fellowship is the first essential to living a life that matters. Without having true fellowship with God our lives won’t have the fullness, that extra something that God intended.
Here in the second chapter John talks about love. And he says that love for one another is essential to living in the light. If we hate another Christian we aren’t living in the light. If we aren’t living in the light our life is not going to count for what is really important. Hating others is a sure roadblock to living a meaningful life!
If you look up the Greek word translated “hate” in our English Bibles you’ll find this defintion: miseo (mis-eh’-o) from a primary misos (hatred); to detest (especially to persecute); by extension, to love less:--hate(-ful).
Is there another person that we detest; especially persecute? Do we intentionally try to do things to hinder them? Is there anyone we are “hateful” toward? Most of us would answer negatively to that question, but some of us may not.
Here’s a question that may hit home to more of us. Is there anyone that we “love less?” “Love less,” that is, do we not talk to someone because they hurt our feelings? Do we avoid them or frown at them because they didn’t live up to our expectations or better yet, because they’re not “pretty,” or “smart,” or “successful?”
Hatred may not always be overt. Sometimes it’s inverted. We may not outwardly behave with hostility, but we may not be showing love by withholding friendship, kindness, compassion, and simple civility.
Daniel Taylor, in his book, “Letters to My Children,” describes an experience he had in the sixth grade. Periodically the students were taught how to dance. The teacher would line up the boys at the door of the classroom to choose their partners.
One girl, Mary, was always chosen last. Because of a childhood illness, one of her arms was drawn up and she had a bad leg. She wasn’t pretty, she wasn’t smart, and she was…well…fat. The assistant teacher of Dan’s class happened to attend his church. One day, she pulled Dan aside and said, “Dan, next time we have dancing, I want you to choose Mary.”
Dan couldn’t believe it. Why would anyone pick Mary when there was Linda, Shelley, and even Doreen? Dan’s teacher told him it is what Jesus would have done, and deep inside, he knew she was right, which didn’t make it any easier. All Dan could hope for was that he would be last in line. That way, he could choose Mary, do the right thing, and no one would be wiser. Instead, Dan was first in line.
“The faces of the girls were turned toward me, some smiling. I looked at Mary and saw she was only half-turned to the back of the room. (She knew no one would pick her first.)…Mr. Jenkins said, ‘Okay, Dan – choose your partner!’
“I remember feeling very far away. I heard my voice say, ‘I choose Mary.’
“Never has reluctant virtue been so rewarded. I still see her face undimmed in my memory. She lifted her head, and on her face, reddened with pleasure and surprise and embarrassment all at once, was the most genuine look of delight and even pride that I have ever seen, before or since. It was so pure that I had to look away because I knew I didn’t deserve it.
“Mary came and took my arm, as we had been instructed, and she walked beside me, bad leg and all, just like a princess…
“I never saw Mary after that year. I don’t know what her life’s been like or what she’s doing. But I’d like to think she has a fond memory of at least one day in the sixth grade. I know I do.”
Once again I ask us the same two questions I asked us last week. Did we minister to anyone this past week? And, did we pray for anyone other than ourselves?
When we love others, not for what they can do for us, not for how they can bolster our reputation, but when we love others, no matter how many unlovable traits they may possess, we are seeing in them what God sees in them and we are living on a level of love that makes God smile. And when we make God smile – our lives take on new meaning – higher meaning. We begin to experience a life that matters.
But there’s one more level of love that’s even higher than this. There’s one more level of love that will add the greatest significance of all to our lives.
IV. Love for God.
This is the highest level of love. But remember we must love in the right way – especially when it comes to loving God! What is the right way to show your love for God?
As we read the portion of 1 John chapter two that deals with loving God, I’m sure you can pick up on the way John says we can know whether or not we love God.
3 And we can be sure that we know him if we obey his commandments. 4 If someone claims, “I know God,” but doesn’t obey God’s commandments, that person is a liar and is not living in the truth. 5 But THOSE WHO OBEY GOD’S WORD TRULY SHOW HOW COMPLETELY THEY LOVE HIM. That is how we know we are living in him. 6 Those who say they live in God should live their lives as Jesus did. 1 John 2:3-6 (NLT)
What is clearly the trademark of someone who loves God?
Obeying the commandments of God’s Word.
We often read or hear something from the Bible and say, “Wait a minute, uh-oh, my life doesn’t jive with that.” Then, because we love God, we readjust our lives to coincide with the teachings of God’s Word. We love Him and we know He loves us or He wouldn’t ask us to live a certain way.
Is it tough sometimes to obey God’s commands? Sure. Sometimes loving God can be very difficult. It’s tough because in order to love the Father as we should we have to give up the first two levels of love – love for the world’s ways and the wrong kind of love for self. BUT LOVING GOD IS ABSOLUTELY THE MOST IMPORTANT THING WE WILL EVER DO WITH OUR LIVES. If we learn to love God by obeying His commands then we are doing something significant with our lives!
How do we love God? According to 1 John 2 it’s simple. We get into the Bible, the Word of God, and we begin to see what God expects out of our lives. We begin to see how Jesus lived so that we can live our lives like He did. That’s how God expects us to show Him that we love Him.
You say, “I want to show God I love Him in my own way.” That is not how it works! Ask any married couple. A husband can try to show his wife his love for her his way, but if he’s a smart husband he will learn to show his wife his love for her the way she wants to be shown. He can say, “Well, us guys, we like to show love by sitting around watching sports together. We don’t get into flowers and cards and notes and hugs.”
Loving the Father must be measured by His yardstick. And His benchmark is obedience to His Word. The more I love God the more I obey His Word.
In return, incredible joy and purpose fills our lives when we obey God! We would think that joy comes when we do what self wants, right? Or when we love the world’s ways. Instead, satisfaction in life comes from doing what God wants.
Romans 8:28 (NLT) says, "And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those WHO LOVE GOD and are called according to his purpose for them."
Loving God is the greatest commandment in both the Old and New Testaments! We don’t just serve God and worship God because we’re afraid of His wrath. We serve Him and worship Him because we love Him!
A Pharisee once tried to test Jesus with a tough question. He said, "What’s the greatest commandment in all the Word of God?"
Matthew 22:37 Jesus replied, “‘You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.’ 38 This is the first and greatest commandment. 39 A second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself. 40 The entire law and all the demands of the prophets are based on these two commandments.”
In that last statement Jesus is telling us that if we don’t put love for God first, everything else will be out of place!
It’s like getting the top button of a shirt buttoned wrong. Then, all of the other buttons will also be off. The top button in life is to love God. The second button is to love people. But the moment we stop loving God, and stop loving people, we start loving ourselves and loving the world’s ways, and then we get all the buttons messed up.
Where are you at right now on the four levels of love?
Level One: Loving the world’s ways and the world’s goods?
Level Two: Loving self – wanting to have your own way, wanting everything for your self, wanting to appear important?
Level Three: Loving others?
Level Four: Loving God?
We’re talking about living a life that matters. When we come down to the end of our time on earth. What we owned or how many of the world’s pleasures we experienced won’t matter. What will matter will be, did we live on the higher levels of love, where we loved others and loved God?
This is where the joy comes from. This is what really matters. Let’s pray.
