WORTHWHILE CONVERSATION
When I was in my twenties, I couldn’t hold on to money. If I had a dollar, I’d spend it. If I saw something I wanted, I bought it without much consideration as to whether it was a good deal or not. I’m not totally sure whether it was a function of getting older or marrying a woman who is frugal with her money, but I’ve turned 180 degrees from my younger days. Unless I convince myself that I really need something, and it’s a great deal, I’m not buying it.
Khristine and I like a certain department store here in town because they have great sales. It’s one of those places where you can get a $75 sweater for 15 bucks on sale. We’ll find a few of those deals and go out of the store “high-fiving” each other. And the store feeds into our glee because they print out on the receipt how much the merchandise would have been. For a guy with little athletic ability, it’s the closest I’ll ever get to making the winning shot.
But you know, a $15 sweater isn’t a great deal unless it’s a nice sweater. A piece of junk is never a good deal. That’s the same for anything in life. The things that are seen as worthwhile and desirable must have quality. That goes for cars, clothes, telephone service, education, even church. But people also want to know that they’re getting something for their investment. So what if you’re at the best university in the nation, but they don’t have the degree program you want? A great deal on a pair of dress shoes does you no good if they’re not your size.
The same holds true for how we communicate. You have the opportunity every day to positively affect others through your speech. Are they going away feeling like they got a good deal, or that they were ripped-off?
Our sermon title today is “Worthwhile Conversation” and the text is Ephesians 4:29. Would you say that your daily conversation is worthwhile? We’ll find out this morning as we answer the question:
What 2 tests must our daily conversation be able to pass?
The first test is the quality test.
Paul writes that no corrupt words should be heard coming from our mouths. In our society, “corrupt” can mean a number of things. Politicians and public officials are often found to be corrupt, in that they do illegal activities and use their positions for personal power and wealth.We see the corrupting influence that the entertainment-industrial complex is having on our nation’s young people. Their moral condition is being destroyed by all of the sinful behavior they observe in TV, movies and music. In the computer industry, a corrupted file is one that has been damaged, usually beyond repair, because of a virus or other outside factor. Corruption can also refer to something that is rotten and decayed, and this is the sense that is usually meant when we see it in the New Testament. This relates to these other definitions for “corrupt”, especially from a spiritual standpoint.
Jesus puts this into perspective for us in Luke 6:43-45. The fruit Jesus describes here are the works a man or woman does while here on earth. The good tree, which represents a believer should live a life that glorifies God and furthers the kingdom, which is good fruit. The bad tree, which would be those who reject Christ, can only produce bad fruit. The King James here uses the word “corrupt”. He says that we can identify a tree, and whether it is good or corrupt, by its fruit. Said another way, you know whether a person is a faithful believer or not by their words and works. But He goes a step further and states that the cause of that good is what is in the person’s heart. And he says at the end of verse 45 that it’s what’s in the heart that dictates what comes out of the mouth. So, if the mouth is spouting out what Jesus calls “corrupt fruit”, it’s an indicator that something is wrong with their heart. Either they don’t know Jesus Christ as their Savior and Lord, or they’re a believer with a serious spiritual problem.
This leads to an obvious question then: what is corrupt speech?
Using the definition of “rotten” and Jesus’ image of the tree and its fruit as our guide, let me ask you to turn to Galatians 5:22-23. The fruit of the Spirit is the Christian’s guide to their spiritual growth. If you will, it’s our equivalent to the marks that parents put on the wall to track their children’s height as they grow. Every believer should be able to see these nine characteristics become more evident in their lives as they grow in their likeness of Christ. They also are the best guide I know of to determine what good speech is, and by extension, what would denote corrupt speech. All we have to do is take the good fruit, flip it, and we have corrupt fruit.
I’ll show you what I mean:
The first fruit listed is love. If we love someone, we speak well of them, and we say things to them that encourage them, complement them and bring them joy. But when we corrupt this fruit, we speak poorly of others, we criticize people, and we put them down. That old tongue becomes an instrument of destruction, as we see in James 3:8-10. James is correct, it shouldn’t be that way, but it’s so easy to tear others down. The next time you’re ready to trash someone, remember what Jesus says in Matthew 7:3-5. Jesus is saying that we need to get our act straight before presuming to criticize someone else. If we honestly considered our shortcomings before attacking others’, we would be very slow to criticize. One important distinction is needed here. There is certainly a place and time to correct and even to confront a brother who is in the wrong. Proverbs 25:12 says, “Like an earring of gold and an ornament of fine gold is a wise rebuker to an obedient ear.” But this is to be done in a spirit of LOVE, not to merely tear someone down.
Joy is the second fruit. Yet how many Christians do you know that rarely if ever have anything joyful to say? What’s wrong with that picture? Turn with me to Psalm 13. Even in the midst of trials and pain, the psalmist still speaks with joy. Refer to any of the lament psalms, or Job and you’ll read about people who have it worse than you, and yet they have joy. Remember, the joy of the Lord is your strength. If you have joy in the Lord, there’s not room for complaining, which is many Christians’ favorite pastime. We can complain about anything. And if there’s nothing to complain about, we’ll probably complain about that. God’s word is clear, as we see in Philippians 2:14-15. Simply put, complaining has no place in the life of a true follower of Christ.
The third fruit is peace, and I would include the fruit of faithfulness in with this because it’s people’s lack of faith that leads to the absence of peace in their lives. So many Christians I talk to are in utter turmoil. The antithesis of peace is worry and fear. If your conversation is peppered with this concern and that doubt and those worries, you’re participating in corrupt speech. At the base of this is that you don’t trust God. Jesus deals with this in Luke 12:28-31. Keep your mind and your heart directed to God’s will and you won’t have time for dumping all your worries on everyone else.
Three of the fruit that I hear corrupted all at once many times are longsuffering, kindness and gentleness. People are so short with each other, and the result is that they say some very unkind things in the roughest manner. I hear it a lot when parents become impatient with their children. It also seems to be the accepted manner of conversation between many husbands and wives. You make that face where you sort of loosely pucker your lips and talk through clenched teeth. When you get to that point, longsuffering, kindness and gentleness have all gone out the window.
Goodness and self-control are the other two fruit listed, and Paul deals with them in the next chapter, Ephesians 5:3-4. Do you see in this passage that Paul connects sexual immorality and covetousness with bad language? That should cause everyone to take pause and consider the seriousness with which God views our careless and corrupt communication. He says that these are not fitting for saints, by which he means believers in Jesus Christ. “Filthiness” is referring to obscenities, dirty language and profanity. “Foolish talking” gathers in a lot of what is said in the world today. This is all that silly talking that goes on, telling dirty little stories and making inane comments that benefit no one, including the speaker. It’s from the Greek word morologia, which is itself formed by two words: moros, which means “fool” or “moron”, and lego which means “to speak”. Christian, the last thing you want to do is to talk like a fool, as Psalm 14:1 makes perfectly clear. “Coarse jesting” is from a word meaning “well-turned” and has to do with double-entendre and sexual innuendo. Our society is rife with this sort of wordplay, but it should be absent in the life of the Christian.
The first test that our daily conversation must pass is the quality test.
The second test is the value test.
Paul writes in our text that the only things that should come out of our mouth are those that are good for necessary edification. Edification is a word that originally was used to describe the construction of a building. As it refers to people, it means to build someone up. We do this by being helpful, constructive, encouraging, instructive and uplifting in our conversation. Paul doesn’t just say for that our words should be for edification, but good for necessary edification. This means that our words should be beneficial for the people to whom we’re speaking. What if our society only uttered those things that were actually good for other people? It would get pretty quiet. And some people would effectively never speak again.
The first amendment to the Constitution guarantees our right to free speech. You can say anything you want. But consider Paul’s words in 1 Corinthians 10:23-24. You may think that what you’re saying will pass the value test. Nothing in your conversation would be considered ugly or ungodly. But does it edify others? For that matter, do you even consider others before you speak? The sad truth is that many people treat their every word like some precious treasure that the rest of the world is just waiting to hear and fawn over.
Related to this problem is the issue of output. Proverbs 10:19 says, “In the multitude of words sin is not lacking, but he who restrains his lips is wise.” The first fruit of the Spirit is love, as we saw that earlier. God’s love is a selfless love that seeks to edify others. But far too many people opt to edify themselves by burying others in a sea of words, which decline in value with their increasing quantity. I walked by a guy at a concert recently, and he was going on and on to this couple he hadn’t seen in a while. I came back ten or fifteen minutes later, and this guy was still going. The couple was just nodding and saying, “Uh huh”. I so wanted to go over and pretend I knew them just to rescue them! He apparently never heard the saying: you have one mouth and two ears, and should use them in that proportion.
While we tend to think of edifying as only to those who are fellow believers, we would be tragically wrong to forget those who don’t know Jesus Christ as their Savior and Lord. Paul writes in Titus 2:8 that the believer should have sound speech that cannot be condemned by an opponent. We need to be edifying just as much to those who don’t know Jesus Christ. We are salt and light to a dying generation. Paul urges us to be that salt in all our conversation in Colossians 4:6.
Notice in that verse that Paul says our speech should always be with grace. Our focal verse today tells us that the goal of our words should be to impart grace to those to whom we speak. The word “impart” can also be translated as “minister”. I know of a few people in this church, I am pleased to say, who understand that the words they say have a ministering effect on others.
Allen Redpath says we should THINK before we speak. He gives this acrostic:
T...Is it true?
H...Is it helpful?
I...Is it inspiring?
N...Is it necessary?
K...Is it kind?
When our words are in this pattern, we do minister grace to other people. That’s because our words show forth the fruit of the Spirit, instead of their ugly counterparts. Grace as it’s described here is the outpouring of God’s riches through us as we bless others with the love He has shown us. You love them enough to speak to them with words of quality and value instead of words that tear them down, drag them down or bore them to death. Benjamin Franklin said, “Remember not only to say the right thing in the right place, but far more difficult still, to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.”
So consider these two tests as you contemplate your own speech and the way you talk to others:
The Quality Test: Does what you say honor God? The words that proceed from our mouths should give testimony to the fruit of the Spirit and their growing presence and importance in our lives.
The Value Test: Does your conversation build others up and benefit them? Just because your conversation isn’t bad doesn’t mean your conversation is worthwhile either. It should enrich those to whom you speak.
Has complaining or criticizing become a regular part of your speech patterns? If your conversations tend toward what people are or aren’t doing that suit you, or to why you’re not happy, the answer would be “yes”. Has tearing down others become a favorite pastime in your life? Attacking others in their absence is like going into the boxing ring with your opponent bound and gagged. They have no way to defend themselves.
Have you reduced your friends and family to trashcans? They’ve become nothing more to you than a place to dump your garbage. Have you become careless and haphazard with the tongue God has given you that should be blessing and ministering to others?
Whatever it is this morning, if your speech is not quality speech that brings benefits to those who hear you, will you come to the altar this morning and ask God to forgive you and to heal you? Ask God, as David did, to set a watch over your mouth and a guard over your tongue. The words that come from your mouth start with your heart. God may need to do some heart surgery in your life this morning. Your critical, complaining, unkind words are demonstrating a heart that is in need of repair. Or it may be that your heart has never surrendered to Jesus Christ in the first place.
I invite you to come forward this morning and surrender your heart to Jesus Christ. If you’re a believer, ask Him to forgive you for allowing your heart to become cold and hard. If you’ve never accepted Jesus as your Savior and Lord, He wants to save you today. Scripture says that the heart is desperately wicked, but Jesus died on the cross of Calvary to forgive you and to cleanse you from all unrighteousness. You can try to clean up your act, but apart from Jesus it’s like spray painting a rotten apple. You are still a sinner, unable to please a holy and righteous God. Only through faith in the saving power of Jesus and His blood on Calvary can you become a new creation and experience the joy of salvation. If you’ve never accepted Jesus Christ as your Savior and Lord, I invite you to come up during the invitation music and talk with me.
Christian, people know you by your fruit. A grocer selling rotten fruit is not well-regarded in the community, and won’t have many patrons. You’ve been called to reach out and attract others to Christ. Your fruit must draw them to Him. Make sure it’s the best.
Let’s pray.
