What If They’re Wrong Series Exodus 20:14 "Fatal Attraction"
Today we’re talking about the Seventh Commandment, "You shall not commit adultery."
• I read a true story about a pastor who was leading a Bible study on faith and obedience. Abraham and Sarah were cited as Old Testament examples. The preacher said, "Abraham looked old, felt old, acted old, and was old. Sarah looked old, felt old, acted old, and was old. The angel had brought good news to this old couple, ’You are going to have a baby at your house.’" Then he paused for effect and asked, "What do you suppose Abraham and Sarah went home and did after the angel finished with this message?" The pastor said he was initially shocked by a period of absolute silence. Then the chuckling started, and quickly turned into gales of laughter. The only thing left for him to do was say the closing prayer.
That’s the kind of trouble we can get into whenever we talk openly about sex.
Lots of people are uncomfortable talking about it, especially in a church.
Other people talk routinely about sex around the dining room table.
Fact is, the Bible has much to say about the topic of sex.
Our culture also has lots to say about sex...and the two do not agree.
Our culture is obsessed with sex.
Look around and you’ll see that we have been inundated with sex.
Sex on billboards while we drive down the streets.
Sex on prime time television and in television commercials.
Sex in magazines.
By the way, what does a half-naked girl on the front of a magazine have to do with sports?
Sex in schools.
The "wisdom" of the day says that teens are going to do it anyway, so we might as well prepare them for it.
Today we’re going to look at two cultural lies that are prevalent in our society today.
Then we’re going to focus on some Biblical principles that counter those cultural lies.
I. First cultural lie: Sex is merely a physical act.
It’s nothing more than a primal instinct that’s been built into us.
We classify it as a need and place it on the same level as getting a midnight snack to satisfy our hunger, or scratching an itch, or going inside because it’s cold and rainy outside.
Because it only satisfies a physical need I should be able to indulge myself as much as I want, with as many people as I possibly can.
Variety is the spice of life!
Folks have tried to justify this cultural lie biblically.
Their thought is that God put the desire for sex into us at our creation because he told Adam and Eve to "be fruitful and multiply."
So, I should "be fruitful and multiply" with as many people as I can!
Now, God did put the desire for sex into us at our creation.
But, Adam’s desire was for Eve.
He said, "...This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ’woman’, for she was taken out of man. For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh." (Genesis 2:23-24)
The point is that God gave us a desire for one special person, not bunches of them.
• Do you know what epoxy glue is? You can buy it almost anywhere. When you buy it you get two tubes of "stuff." If you squeeze a little bit out of each tube and let them sit around, nothing happens, except that they dry out. But, if you mix them together they can bond metal and all sorts of neat things. Apart from each other they do nothing. Together they become very strong because of a chemical reaction that takes place when the two are mixed.
Sex in a marriage relationship is sort of like the chemical reaction that allows that stuff to become one durable substance.
It solidifies two people into "one flesh."
It bonds them emotionally, spiritually, and psychologically.
It "sets" and strengthens the relationship between husband and wife - that’s the purpose of the sexual component of the relationship.
So, sex isn’t just a physical act.
It joins two people in a very special way.
When we reduce it to nothing more than a physical act it becomes nothing more than a fatal attraction between two people.
I say that because there are always consequences.
Those consequences aren’t always physical.
You might not get pregnant.
You might not get a disease.
But there are spiritual, emotional, and psychological consequences.
What happens when the sex stops being fun?
What happens when somebody better comes along?
And what about your reputation?
You see, part of this lie is that you can have all the sex you want and nothing bad will happen to you.
We reinforce that lie when we dish out condoms and birth control pills to our school-aged children.
In effect we’re saying, "Well, here you go. Nothing bad can happen to you now."
We set up our young men to be sexual predators and our young women to look for love in all the wrong places.
We continue to reinforce that lie with our "try before you buy" mentality that says it’s ok to live together and "try it to see if you are ’compatible’."
If it doesn’t work out then you can bail out of the relationship.
No commitment, no strings attached.
What we’re really saying is that when the sex is good the relationship is good and we equate those physical feelings with love.
But when the sex stops being good I must not love you anymore and don’t need to continue in the relationship because it just isn’t worth it.
We develop angry, bitter men and women who have been used and abused to the point that they will be hard pressed to ever receive the love God has for them.
Illicit sex has very real consequences - it is more than just a physical act."
II. The second cultural lie about sex: Our passions must be fulfilled at any cost.
Technically speaking, adultery is when a married person is having sexual relations with a person other than his or her spouse.
We call it "cheating."
It is prohibited by the Seventh Commandment.
In the New Testament, the concept is broadened
We are taught that sex between any two people who are not married to each other is fornication - premarital sex, one-night-stands, "shacking up," that sort of thing.
Both types of sin run rampant in our world today.
One of the ways people try to justify doing these things is by blaming it on their passion.
"We got caught up in the heat of moment.”
“We couldn’t help ourselves.”
“I really love him so I just had to give myself to him.”
“My feelings were real; they couldn’t be denied.”
“She’s really hot; I just did what came naturally."
The underlying presupposition is that those passions and urges were so strong that they absolutely could not be ignored, denied or suppressed.
Fact is, this type of thinking shows that we live in a culture that refuses to exhibit any form of self-control.
Why do I need to control myself?
Everybody is doing it!
Prominent people are giving into their passions and nothing is happening to them.
If it’s O.K. for them, it must be O.K. for me!
If we buy into the lie that sexual urges and passions cannot be denied, ignored, or suppressed, what do we do with some of those other urges and passions?
• For example, I might get extremely angry with someone. That anger might be understandable. It might even be justified. I might be "seeing red" I’m so angry. Does this mean that I can give into the urge to hit that person up side the head, and then say, "I was caught up in the moment? I couldn’t help myself. I couldn’t deny my feelings. They were real feelings. I was very angry at the time. So, it’s O.K., right?"
No, it’s not O.K.!
Our passions and urges need be controlled when they aren’t appropriate.
Sexual passion outside of the marriage relationship is one of them.
III. God’s Truth about Sex...
A. First, sex is for marriage, period.
Sex outside of marriage can be one of the most destructive sins we face.
• Do you remember when Magic Johnson announced he had AIDS? He vowed to use that tragedy to promote AIDS awareness. While we might be able to commend him for using his illness for a creative, positive purpose, don’t you think it would have been better for him to stress to young people the real cause of his disease: promiscuity. The real cure is abstinence before marriage and faithfulness in marriage. We don’t need information nearly as much as we need discipline, self-control, and positive examples.
• Years ago Phyllis George interviewed Dallas Cowboys quarterback Roger Staubach. It was a dull interview until Phyllis asked, "Roger, how do you feel when you compare yourself with Joe Namath, who is so sexually active and has a different woman on his arm every time we see him?" "Phyllis," Roger answered, "I’m sure I’m just as sexually active as Joe. The difference is that all of mine is with one woman." Roger hit the nail on the head with that comeback. Real men don’t need to commit adultery. A real man sticks with the woman God has given him.
You see, when things aren’t done right innocent people lose.
Sex is like fire - it has great power.
In the right place and right time, used in the right way, it’s constructive, pleasurable, and wonderful.
But outside of its proper boundaries it can cut loose with an amazingly destructive force.
We could all probably come up with examples of how sex was misused and how that misuse ruined marriages, ruined lives, and caused many unnecessary hardships.
It’s just not worth it.
Sex finalizes and solemnizes the marriage relationship in such a way that the husband and wife have security with each other, and children feel secure with parents who are faithful to each other.
I know lots of people "live together" before marriage these days.
And I know I might be considered "old fashioned" and behind the times.
But, sex outside of marriage is wrong.
It’s wrong because God says so.
Marriage is more than just the ultimate friendship
It’s a covenant relationship, a "sacred trust."
Sex is so intimate, so powerful, that it can only be entrusted to someone you’ve entered into this sacred trust with.
The truth of the matter is that you can easily find someone who has engaged in pre-marital or extra-marital sex who deeply regrets it.
But, I seriously doubt that you can ever find anyone who waited until they were married to have sex, or ran from a temptation to stray, who regrets waiting or remaining faithful.
So, God’s main truth about sex is that sex should be completely restricted to marriage relationship.
But we also need to emphasize God’s second truth regarding sex:
B. Forgiveness is always possible.
Sexual sin is dangerous and needs be avoided at all costs.
But, it’s nothing new that people fail miserably to take Jesus’ warning seriously.
Many people are overcome by the guilt of a past sexual sin - some people even sabotage their own lives because of guilt, or they think that God will ruin their lives because of some specific sin in this area.
We need be reminded that God is a God of forgiveness.
He is a God of grace.
It’s that grace that allow us to overcome our pasts, to have our sin nullified, to be "right" with Him, even though we’ve done some rotten things.
If we’re married, we need to strive to remain faithful in thought and deed.
If we’re single, we need to work hard at remaining pure for our own good.
If we’ve failed in this area in the past, we need to repent and seek God’s forgiveness.
We’re studying the Ten Commandments, but we need to remember that we’re not saved by following them.
Nor are we condemned by our failure to follow them.
We’re saved when we accept Jesus as our Lord and Savior, and condemned when we reject Him and seek do it all on our own.
