Living A Life of Contentment
John Ortberg’s book "When the Game is Over It All Goes Back in the Box" was a special help and thought sparker.
Introduction:
There is a disease that many people have here. The men who have this disease can walk into their garage and look at their car which is less than two years old and think to themselves that they need to trade the car in for a new one. A woman with this disease can walk into a closet full of clothes and think to herself, “I have nothing to wear”. A person with this disease can look into a mirror and never like what they see and wonder how they ended up with their father’s nose and their mother’s thighs. They should be careful not to visit their friends’ new home because you may see that they have granite countertops and you don’t and you may want them. People with this disease may look at their spouse and think to themselves, “I really could have done better.” This disease is probably the cause of many divorces. It is the cause of much of the financial debt that people are in. People with this disease carry around numerous maxed out credit cards. People with this disease think that no matter how much money they are making they deserve and need to be making more. If any of these symptoms fits you then you may have this disease…the disease of discontentment. The disease of discontentment is an epidemic in our culture. We catch this disease early on in our lives.
When Hannah was a baby we tried to teach her some sign language to help her communicate with us so she wouldn’t get frustrated as easily when we couldn’t determine what she wanted. We taught her all sorts of signs. We taught her how to say, “thank you”, “mommy”, “daddy”, “sleep” and a few more. She learned some of those, but there was not any sign that she picked up on quicker and easier than she did the sign for the word “more”. When she wanted more food she would sign more. When her cup was empty she would sign more.
Catalogs have thrived on the disease of discontentment. There are millions of catalogs sent out regularly. When people look at those catalogs something happens to them, people suddenly feel that they need this thing in this catalog that has caught their attention that they didn’t even know existed two minutes ago.
We do not like to say it this way, but discontentment is the same as greed. The bottom line is that this disease of discontentment will rob you of your joy. If so much of your life is spent on craving more, being discontent, you will miss out on so much of the good. Perhaps today you are convinced that if you had a little more then you would be content. Let me assure you that if that is your way of thinking, then it is wrong. There will always be something else you want or feel that you need. One day the thing you thought you wanted so badly that would make you content will be old news and out dated, and there will be something else you want. The illusion of gratitude is that we will experience it more if we get more stuff. People often desire more, thinking more will satisfy. The reality is more will not satisfy you. The surest way to dull a child of the attitude of gratitude is to give theme everything they want. More is not always the best answer.
Marilyn Monroe was one of the biggest stars there has ever been. She was envied by women and desired by men. She had looks, money, and fame, but Marilyn Monroe died all alone by her own hand. If she had had one more movie or magazine cover, or one more relationship would it have been enough to satisfy her emptiness?
Isn’t it ironic that the season that represents a thankfulness to God for what he has done, is the official ushering in of the season of greed and discontentment, of desiring more. I want us to understand that the disease of discontentment is one that will make us miserable.
Text: Philippians 4:10-13
I. Resist Comparisons
As Paul wrote the book of Philippians he was imprisoned. Life probably wasn’t the best at that point in time, yet the book of Philippians is known as the “epistle of joy”. I am sure it was quite a temptation for Paul to sit there is jail and make comparisons. Perhaps as he looked at his other preacher friends who were free still to go about and preach? Perhaps he looked at his guards and envied their freedom. However, Paul did not get bogged down with comparisons; rather he made clear that he was content with where he was in life. I really believe that is saying something.
We love to make comparisons with others. We look at their car, their house, their things, maybe even their talents or looks and start to compare ourselves to them. We convince ourselves that we are equally as deserving as they are of the nice car and nice house. I have noticed that we always compare up and we don’t compare down often. When we compare we look at somebody and think to ourselves how we would like what they have or how we are equally as deserving of what they have. Perhaps rather than always looking and comparing ourselves to those that have more than we do, maybe we need to compare down sometimes, and by doing so realize how much we really have. Perhaps rather than looking at the guy with envy who drives the car of our dreams, we need to look at the millions of people around the world that can’t afford the biggest clunker car we can imagine. Perhaps rather than looking at the guy who has the fancy home longingly and thinking how we would like that maybe we need to look at the millions of people around the world who do not have homes or a roof over their heads.
I have seen it in effect in our world. Someone buys a house and you ask them how many bedrooms the house has. They tell you it has six bedrooms and it sounds a little funny for someone with two kids both moved out of the house. Why do they do it? They do it for two reasons. First, so people will look at them longing and second so they can treat their discontentment. We as a society often judge success by the size of a person’s home and the type of car they drive. I wonder with those standards how damaging we are being to people in the long run. People will buy into the lie that their life has been a failure if they can never afford those things. Perhaps we need to compare down rather than compare up.
Maybe we need to start displaying an “it could be worse attitude”.
I saw a Snoopy cartoon where Snoopy was on his doghouse one thanksgiving. He was grumbling and complaining about being stuck with dog food outside while the others were inside eating turkey, gravy, pumpkin pie and all the typical thanksgiving spread. “Of course it could have been worse” he reflected, “I could have been born a turkey.”
Go outside, fire up your car and say, “it could be worse”. Look at your house and say, “it could be worse”. Roll over at night; look at your spouse and say, “it could be worse”. However, I don’t suggest saying the last one out loud.
When life is tough, when you are tempted to lose contentment always remember, “It could be worse.”
II. Contentment Comes From Within
Contentment comes from within and not from what happens around us, or our circumstances. The truth is we cannot always choose the circumstances, but we can choose the attitude. I can’t always choose what will happen to me, but I can choose how I will respond.
During World War II, Dr. Frankl was imprisoned at Auschwitz, where he was stripped of his identity as a medical doctor and forced to work as a common laborer. His father, mother, brother, and wife died in the concentration camps. All his notes, which represented his life, were destroyed. Yet Frankl emerged from Auschwitz believing that "everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms-to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances."
I really have some to believe that we have a choice in our attitudes. If you wake up in a bad mood, you have a choice to remain that way. The same is true with an attitude of discontentment versus contentment. We have a choice in which attitude we will display. Discontentment is not just a way of thinking it is an attitude and a lifestyle. I believe our attitude can be one of contentment and thanksgiving if we will allow it to be. A lot of times bad attitudes exist because we nurse them and good attitudes are absent because we don’t nurse them. In order for our attitude to change to one of contentment we need to consciously choose to be content.
For Paul contentment was not based on the circumstances.
Philippians 4:11-12
A. He Could Not Change the Circumstances
Paul understood that though the circumstances were currently bad for him, they weren’t always bad. He had times of plenty. He had times where things were going great, and he said that he needed to be content in those times, but also in the bad times he needed to be content. Why? Because, no amount of discontentment is going to change the circumstances.
Two youngsters were closely examining bathroom scales on display at the department store.
"Have you ever seen one of these before?" one asked. "Yeah, my mom and dad have one," the other replied. "What’s it for?" asked the first boy. "I don’t know," the second boy answered. "I think you stand on it and it makes you mad."
B. He Made the Best of the Situation
If Paul would have sat around in jail complaining and being discontent, envying all those who currently had more than he did, then it would not have solved the problem and furthermore he would have been miserable. However, Paul was not miserable. He was able to tell the Philippians to rejoice in the Lord always.
Philippians 1:12-14
He said that despite something that other saw as bad it has really been good. He was able to take a good situation and make the best of it. He said that because of this perceived negative thing that happened the gospel has been advanced, the palace guard now knew about Jesus, and more than that others have been encouraged to preach more courageously and boldly. This is because Paul was content with where he was in life. All we can do is make the best out of the hand we have been dealt. We can sit and be miserable because fo the circumstances or we can use the circumstances for a positive thing.
We need to be content regardless of the circumstances. The circumstances do not change our standard. The circumstances do not change the truths of the Word of God. The circumstances do not dethrone God or remove us from giving an account. Job was able to say after losing everything and the circumstances were bad, “the Lord gives and the Lord takes away.” That is contentment isn’t it.
Let us understand the most important truth in this message. That is contentment come from within and not from the circumstances. A new car will not make you content. More money will not make you content. I have learned that when we desire a little and get it we are not as satisfied as we thought we would be, but we still want more.
I believe we all as humans have a desire to be satisfied. People attempt to find contentment through many different means. This exactly the message of the book of Ecclesiastes.
Ecclesiastes 2:1-11
Solomon’s conclusion was that these physical things could not make the heart content, he still was longing for something more. We have many in our world who are trying to find happiness and contentment and they are looking to physical things to find it, but they are still finding themselves wanting more. It is not satisfying.
Henry Kissinger, former US Secretary of State, writes, "To Americans, tragedy is wanting something very badly and not getting it. But many people have had to learn . . . that perhaps the worst form of tragedy is wanting something badly, getting it, and finding it empty."
Philippians 4:11-12
Did you notice what Paul said? He said, he has learned the secret to being content. In other words contentment is something that does not come naturally, it is an acquired taste. Perhaps it is like eating cottage cheese. There is nothing more sickening to me that eating curdled milk, but people tell me it is an acquired taste. It is a taste I prefer not to acquire. I naturally do not like cottage cheese. I naturally do not want to be content. Something within me is not satisfied. I have periods where I think to myself if I had a little more money, a little more stuff, if I was a little smarter, more popular or better looking, fi I had a nicer car or nicer clothes then I will be happy and content with life, but that is not the case. Perhaps the secret to being content was knowing that contentment did not come from the circumstance and it doesn’t come from the things, but it came from within. He knew circumstances could not make him content and that is why he said the famous lines oft taken out of context, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”
We are not born content, we need to learn the secret of being content in all circumstances.
Contentment will not come from more material things. True contentment can only come through our relationship with Christ
Hebrews 13:5
Did you catch the because? He said we can be content because we know that God will never leave us. We aren’t told to be content because we have a lot or because it is bad to be discontent, but because we know that we have something that will last forever. Because we know that God will never leave us.
III. Count Your Blessings
When we stop to think about it we can probably really see some areas we can be thankful. However, our discontentment sometimes leads us to not see areas to be thankful.
Lou Gehrig was one of the best baseball players of all time. Sadly, he got struck with a deadly disease that would kill him quickly. Before he retired from baseball and a few months before he died he gave a speech that became one of the most well known speeches ever. In that speech his famous line was, “I consider myself to be the luckiest man alive.”
We look and wonder how he could consider himself lucky or blessed. The reason why was because he stopped to count the blessings. Some people cannot see the good for their focus is always on the bad things.
Do you remember the story of the Israelites and the manna? God had provided the manna for Israel in the wilderness not to punish them, but to sustain them. However, there came a time when they collectively became dissatisfied with the manna. They got tired of it. They thought they deserved something else. That is when God overwhelmed them with quail. I read that and I see Israel full of ingratitude for what God had done. They thought they deserved more, however, God provided their food free of charge. They didn’t have to farm, they didn’t have to work for it, and every day it just appeared for them. That sounds like a good deal to me. Yet they were not content with what they had, they convinced themselves that they needed and deserved more.
Sometimes as I hear people complain or hear people voice their discontentment I think to myself do we realize how much we have? Do we realize that there are people in the world who would laugh at our longings because all they want are the basic things to sustain life.
A 12 year old boy named David was born without an immune system. He underwent a bone marrow transplant in order to correct the deficiency. Up to that point he had spent his entire life in a plastic bubble in order to prevent exposure to common germs, bacteria, and viruses that could kill him. He lived without ever knowing human contact. When asked what he’d like to do if and when released from his protective bubble, he replied, "I want to walk barefoot on grass, and touch my mother’s hand."
When I hear stories like that I am humbled and feel guilty that my longings are for things that are so trivial, when some people long for that which I have and take for granted day in and day out. Before we move to discontentment let us count all our blessings and name them one by one. I really suggest that this thanksgiving you sit down with your family and list the blessings you have. List the big things you life, your salvation, your freedom, your income and your safety. Also list those things which you may no give much thought to, your material possessions, your comfort, and your sources of entertainment, your friends, and all your luxuries. I believe it may surprise you what the Lord has done.
We all have different levels of expectation. Those levels of expectation dictate how we will respond to things.
For example, if you are a fan of West Virginia basketball and they win half of their games this season you will be satisfied and say it was a good season. However, if you are a Duke Basketball fan and they only win half of their games it would be shocking and a disappointment. Why? Because there are different levels of expectation.
I don’t know if you ever follow baseball or not. If you do you know that the New York Yankee are a team that people either love or they hate. The reason why is because they are always good. Their manager for the past several years has been a man named Joe Torre. He had been very successful, statistically; he has been one of the best ever. The Yankees had made the playoffs every year. This year was no different. The Yankees made the playoffs, but lost in the first round. Twenty-four other teams sitting at home who would have loved to make the playoffs. For Torre and the Yankees the season was considered a great disappointment, in fact many called for Torre to be fired. Most managers get a raise when they make the playoffs. Torre got offered a pay cut which he turned down and left the Yankees. Why? The playoffs were great, but the Yankees expected to win the World Series every year and anything else is a disappointment. People have different levels of expectations.
I believe many of us are not content because we expect too much. Generally speaking, the more we have the less grateful we are. Despite all that we have we are still often not content with what we have. The more we have and the more we are spoiled the higher our standard is for discerning contentment. For example, if you stay at the Hilton it is hard to be content with Motel 6. If eat at a nice steak house it is hard to be content with Wendy’s. If you vacation in Hawaii it may be hard to be content with the camping trip to the state park. Perhaps we need to lower our expectations. Perhaps we need to understand how much we really have and be thankful and content with what we do have.
Perhaps more than that we need to reevaluate the distinction between want and need.
13% of Americans say that VCRs or DVD players are necessities.
17% say that basic cable TV is a necessarily.
25% of Americans consider home computers and answering machines to be necessities.
33% feel that microwave ovens are necessities.
45% can’t do without auto air conditioning.
53% say home air conditioning is essential.
Are those things nice to have? Certainly! Are they absolutely essential to our lives? No! Does God owe us those things in order to be considered good or faithful to His promises? No. Our contentment is absent often times because our expectations are wrong. Let us consider our expectations.
We are going to face a great temptation in life to continue to think that the answer to our heartaches and pains is going to be in longing for more. We will lie to ourselves that if we only made more and had more then we would finally be happy, but I want us to be aware of two things. First, it is a vicious cycle that will never end. If we think that way we will always want more no matter how much we have. Second, our only way to find true contentment is in Christ. Perhaps then we can find the secret of being content in all circumstances. Discontentment however will rob you of your joy.
