Title: Swift to hear, slow to speak
Theme: To show the importance of listening and speaking
Text: James 1:19-20
¶ Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath: For the wrath of man worketh not the righteousness of God. (James 1:19-20 AV)
It seems to be that James throughout his book is talking about the balance between faith and works. Back and forth it swings. One just depending on faith and the other just on works. James seems to have written this who book on this swing.
But one of the greatest points that he makes is the fact that the true showing of faith is shown from how one controls his/her mouth. The mouth must have been a major problem in James’ church. It must have been almost uncontrollable. This is the reason that in every chapter there seems to be some reference to the mouth. Either in speaking or in prayer or something there is the purpose of it. I believe As James speaks in chapter 3 he is trying to get us to understand if we can control the tongue then we have mastered one of the greatest monsters ever to be tamed.
Here he gives us some advice in control. In conjunction with the book of Proverbs I would like to look at this verse and see what we can learn about control.
I. Stop talking and start listening
¶ Wherefore, my beloved brethren, (since you understand the above then “take note of this my beloved brethren”) let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath: (James 1:19 AV)
¶ He that answereth a matter before he heareth (listening) it, it is (his) folly and (his) shame unto him. (Proverbs 18:13 AV)
It is important that in this society that we become listener. People have something to say and want to be heard. All some people need is a shoulder to lean on. If we are doing all the talking and none of the listening then many times we are not being heard because people tune us out.
Talking too much can also get us in trouble
¶ In the multitude of words there wanteth not sin: but he that refraineth his lips is wise. (Proverbs 10:19 AV)
It is said that God has given us two ears and one mouth so we should do twice as much listening as we do speaking.
Love is shown in listening not in always having a word to say.
Sometimes it is a folly to interrupt.
¶ He that answereth a matter before he heareth it, it is folly and shame unto him. (Proverbs 18:13 AV)
To answer or even to be preparing to answer a person while listening can truly lose the line of communication. Sometimes when I am in conversation I get frustrated because they do not understand what I am trying to say. The reason is because most of the time they are preparing their next words while I am talking to them.
II. Think before you speak
¶ A man hath joy by the answer of his mouth: and a word spoken in due season, how good is it! (Proverbs 15:23 AV)
¶ The heart of the righteous studieth (weighs its) to answer: but the mouth of the wicked poureth (gushes) out evil things. (Proverbs 15:28 AV)
¶ Seest thou a man that is hasty in his words? there is more hope of a fool than of him. (Proverbs 29:20 AV)
Do you see a man that speaks in haste, there is more hope for a fool than him. NIV
There will come a time in our conversation where we get to speak. Now that is most of the time. I have been in conversations where I never get a word in edge wise. But this is very unusual. When we do we must be very careful about what we say. We must be very choosy about our words. There is no rule that says we must say everything at one time. All don’t have to be said at that moment.
Words are important. The old adage that says, “Sticks and stones may hurt my bones but words will never hurt me is false.” The power of words is stronger that the power of physical pain. Physical pain will go away but words last forever
It works both ways. The use of positive words can change a persons day. If when we see a person in a sour mood if we would only find something genuinely positive to say to that person we don’t know what difference it could make.
Set a watch (a guard), O LORD, before (over) my mouth; keep the door of my lips (sealed). (Psalms 141:3 AV)
¶ Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof. (Proverbs 18:21 AV)
III. Speak the truth in Love
But speaking the truth in love, may grow up into him in all things, which is the head, even Christ: (Ephesians 4:15 AV)
Wherefore putting away lying, speak every man truth with his neighbour: for we are members one of another. (Ephesians 4:25 AV)
Lie not one to another, seeing that ye have put off the old man with his deeds; (Colossians 3:9 AV)
The truth is a powerful instrument in this world. It is important in the lives of people. People are actually searching for the truth. We tell our children not to lie and we encourage them by helping them to understand that they will be better off by telling the truth. But then we have to be careful in this world to abide by the same principle. When the bill collector comes and we lie about the money? When file our income taxes and are not honest. When we exaggerate “a little”. This is not truth. And the truth is important. Sometimes we try to shield our kids by lying to them.
I have got a question for you, Is it a lie to tell your children about the tooth fairy, Easter bunny or Santa Clause. I think we have to be careful with these because if we are not careful we will be telling our children a lie.
And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free. (John 8:32 AV)
IV. Disagree, but Don’t argue
¶ The beginning of strife is as when one letteth out water: therefore leave off
contention, before it be meddled with. (Proverbs 17:14 AV)
Starting a quarrel is like breaching a dam; so drop the matter before dispute breaks out.
Let all bitterness, and wrath (rage), and anger, and clamour (brawling), and evil speaking (slander), be put away from you, with all malice: (Ephesians 4:31 AV)
Arguing truly has no purpose. After a few moments one will notice that the other is not going to be changed. It leads to aggravation and stress.
¶ A fool’s lips enter into contention, and his mouth calleth for strokes (invites a beating). (Proverbs 18:6 AV)
¶ It is an honour for a man to cease from strife: but every fool will be meddling. (every fool is quick to quarrel)(Proverbs 20:3 AV)
¶ A fool uttereth all his mind: but a wise man keepeth it in till afterwards. (Proverbs 29:11 AV)
A fool gives full vent to his anger but a wise man keeps himself under control
V. Control your response
¶ A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous (harsh) words stir up anger. (Proverbs 15:1 AV)
And the servant of the Lord must not strive(quarrel); but be gentle (kind) unto all men, apt (able) to teach, patient, In meekness (humility) instructing those that oppose themselves; if God peradventure will give them repentance to the acknowledging of the truth; (2 Timothy 2:24-25 AV)
It is important that we learn to control what we say. That we learn that a slip begins before we ever have the argument. It reality there is no such things a slip ups just unpreparedness. A person who is going to do a job makes sure they have all their tools to perform their job. In some jobs there is no room for mistake. In the job of life there is no room for mistake.
How to we come prepared and control. By speaking positive before and by getting into the habit of doing right.
¶ The wise in heart shall be called prudent: and the sweetness of the lips increaseth learning. (Proverbs 16:21 AV)
Pleasant words promote instruction
¶ Pleasant words are as an honeycomb, sweet to the soul, and health to the bones. (Proverbs 16:24 AV)
Taking our time to say what we say. Sometimes even counting to ten before we respond could make all the difference in the world.
VI. Confess your faults
Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much. (James 5:16 AV)
¶ If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. (1 John 1:8-9 AV)
In confessing we show one another’s weakness. A person who doesn’t know how to confess has a lot more problems than the one who is confessing. It puts us on equal terms. Now I don’t mean every sin in our lives need to be told to one another but if you have a problem with your temper or mouth it would not hurt to tell someone. Then when you do fail then they know.
VII. Practice forgiveness
And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted (compassionate), forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you. (Ephesians 4:32 AV)
Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any (any grievances that you may have): even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye. (Colossians 3:13 AV)
When we do confess we must learn to forgive. Even if we have not been forgiven or if we feel we have seen no remorse on the person’s part. We waste too much time in other peoples problems. Always letting them get too us. Always letting drag us down. This is wrong. We must get on.
When we do we must forget. Forgetfulness doesn’t mean blind trust but it means that once it is taken care of we never bring it up again. Some people say they forgive but every chance they get they remind the person of their past or of their hurt this is not forgiveness. The Lord has never reminded me of my past forgiven sin only satan.
VIII. Eliminate Nagging
¶ In the multitude of words there wanteth not sin (sin is not absent): but he that refraineth his lips is wise. (Proverbs 10:19 AV)
¶ A continual dropping in a very rainy day and a contentious woman are alike. Whosoever hideth her hideth the wind, and the ointment of his right hand, which bewrayeth itself. (Proverbs 27:15-16 AV)
A quarrelsome wife is like a constant dripping on a rainy day; restraining her like restraining the wind or grasping oil with the hand.
As coals are to burning coals, and wood to fire; so is a contentious man to kindle strife. (Proverbs 26:21 AV)
Nagging is a waste of time. All that is gained is the use of more oxygen. Nothing comes of it. So let it be. Even if there is a result usually it will not be pleasant.
If we are always contentions and nagging and complaining then finally people will quit listening and they will begin to question our own testimony. I don’t like to listen to a person who never has anything good to say. It is ridiculous.
IX. Be constructive not critical
Let us not therefore judge one another any more: but judge this rather (make up your mind), that no man put a stumblingblock or an occasion to fall in his brother’s way. (Romans 14:13 AV)
¶ Brethren, if a man be overtaken in a fault (sin), ye which are spiritual, restore such an one in the spirit of meekness (gently); considering thyself, lest thou also be tempted. (Galatians 6:1 AV)
If you have to say something the most important thing is to be constructive. Hopefully you are only looking out for the good of the person.
It is easy to be critical. We can always find the bad. No matter how much good is done the bad seems to stick out. But if we could only turn it around.
X. Leave vengeance to God
Recompense to (don’t repay) no man evil for evil. Provide things honest (be careful to do what is right) in the sight of all men. (Romans 12:17 AV)
Not rendering (don’t repay) evil for evil, or railing for railing (insult with insult): but contrariwise blessing; knowing that ye are thereunto called, that ye should inherit a blessing. (1 Peter 3:9 AV)
God is the end of it all we must depend upon him and understand that his punishments and rewards are greater than we will ever receive.
¶ Wherefore, my beloved brethren, (since you understand the above then “take note of this my beloved brethren”) let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath: (James 1:19 AV)
