“The Leading Man”
Ephesians 6:4
The idea for creating a day for children to honor their fathers began in Washington in 1909. A woman named Sonora Dodd thought of te idea while she was listening to a Mother’s day sermon. Having been raised by her father, after her mother died she wanted her father to know how special he was to her. It was her father who made so many sacrifices and through her eyes was a very courageous man. Her father was born in June so she chose to hold the first father’s day celebration the following June in Washington.
A little boy was asked to define father’s day and he said, it’s just like Mother’s day only you don’t spend as much on the present.
The greatest number of long distance phone calls are made o Mother’s day...the largest number of collect calls are made on father’s Day.
I read an article this week titled 50 reasons why it’s good to be a man. I won’t read all of them but I did out together my own top 10 list.
10. You can drop by to see a friend without bringing a little gift.
9. If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit you might become lifelong buddies.
8. There is always a game on somewhere.
7. You can go to the bathroom without a support group.
6. You get to jump up and slap stuff.
5. You can kill your own food.
4. If someone forgets to invite you to something he can still be your friend.
3. One wallet, one pair of shoes, one color, year round.
2. You can admire Clint Eastwood without starving yourself to look like him.
1. You can do your nails with a pocket knife.
There are some obvious advantages to being a man. I want to begin this morning with some encouraging words about Dads. The National Center for Fathering recently said man are rediscovering what it means to be a Father. Here are 2 rather surprising facts. (1) In the past 25 years the number of Dads present at the birth of their children has risen from 27% to more than 90% today. (2) More than 75% of men say they would trade career advancement for more time with their families.
But all the news is not good. John Maxwell summarizes the state of fatherhood in an article called Dads” the new endangered species.” Here is what he says” guys really want to be good dads more than ever but they aren’t changing much. When the good news is combined with the bad, it seems that fatherhood in the U.S. is poised for either a great awakening or a terrible collapse. The passage I want to read this morning is very brief but it says volumes.
Ephesians 6:4
Now before we begin to unpack this verse I want to begin by giving some background. In the fist century when this passage was written, families were run by fathers who could do whatever they pleased in their homes. Rome had a law that said that men had absolute authority over their families. By law the children and the wife were regarded as his property...he could do with them whatever he pleased. When a child was born, the baby was placed between the father’s feet. If he picked up the child, the child stayed in the home. If he turned and walked away, the child was either left to die or sold at auction. With the number of dads who walk away from their responsibilities and the number of abortions that are performed today I’m not sure we have mad much progress in this area.
But the Bible calls fathers to a different standard. Our children are not property to own.....they are made in the image of God and they are ours to be trained to grow into responsible adults. We are called to provide an environment where they can be loved and nurtured...where our kids can grow up to love and serve Christ. Our primary responsibilities as fathers are laid out in this verse.
I want you to notice the very first word of this verse: Fathers. I think Paul addresses just Dads here because he especially knows that we need to hear this. He doesn’t say “parents” or “moms or dads.” He just uses the word fathers.
Now in essence Paul challenges Fathers to take their role more seriously. And he gives every Dad 4 specific jobs.
JOB 1. Avoid exasperation. That word means to anger or to enrage. Paul said in Colossians, Fathers do not embitter your children or they will be come discouraged. I can think of some ways that Fathers can exasperate their children.
1. Overprotection. You can anger your kids by fencing them in too much. They need boundaries but not fences.
2. Overindulgence. Being too permissive. When children are given too much freedom they begin to feel insecure.
3. Favoritism. In the scripture Isaac and Rebecca had 2 children-Jacob and Esau. Isaac favored Esau over Jacob...Rebecca preferred Jacob over Esau. As a result Jacob and Esau became enemies. You will destroy your son or daughter if you make them feel inferior to the others.
4. Unrealistic goals. We can provoke our kids t wrath if we constantly push them. They also grow up thinking there is nothing they can do to please you.
5. Discouragement. Here is a simple rule of thumb. For every time you have to point out something that your kids do wrong, try to equalize it with a word of encouragement. Haim Ginott wrote this: a child learns what he lives. If he lives with criticism he does not learn responsibility. He learns to condemn himself and to find fault with others. He learns to doubt his own judgment, to disparage his own ability and to distrust others. And above all, he learns to live with the continual expectation of impending doom.
6. Neglect. When we fail to show affection to our children it can provoke them. We can neglect our kids by never being home or we can do it by being at home but never being available.
7. Excessive discipline. Too much punishment.
JOB 2. Provide nurture. Notice here that is says we are to bring them up. We are to bring them up because they will not get there by themselves. John Macarthur puts it this way: what ruins most children is not what their parents do to them, it is what they do not do for them. What strikes me here is that I am not called to just raise 4 children, I’m called to raise 4 adults.
JOB 3. Provide discipline. Proverbs 13:24 If you refuse to discipline your children, it proves you don’t love them; if you love your children, you will be prompt to discipline them.” Hebrews 12:11 Being punished isn’t enjoyable while it is happening--it hurts! But afterwards we can see the result, a quiet growth in grace and character.
JOB 4. Provide instruction. It is not our goal to just get our kids to obey the rules. What we really want is to teach them to glorify God with their lives. It is not enough to teach them good things...we need to teach them to serve Jesus.
3 conclusions.
1. There are no perfect Dads, except our heavenly father.
2. We can all better dads if we work at it.
3. We do not father alone. That’s why we need to pray for them.
Chuck Swindoll in his book, the strong family, says this: c’mon dads...let’s start saying no to more and more of the things that pull us farther and farther away from the ones who need us the most...say you’re not perfect
So, what else is new? You don’t know exactly how to pull it off? Welcome to the club…your family doesn’t expect profound perfection, command performances, or a superhuman plan. Just you warts and all…Let’s get started.”
At 39, Garth Brooks is probably the world’’s most successful singer. He has sold more records than Frank Sinatra, Barbara Streisand, Elvis Presley, or any other solo act in history and he has done it in only 12 years. He has won every prize in the recording business. A few months ago he announced his retirement. Here is what he said about his decision to call it quits:
“Music is a gift from God. It just comes naturally. It’s easy and I love it. But now I’m finding that it’s not the most important thing in my life. When I look in the mirror, I see a guy full of flaws. I see the promises he made that he hasn’t kept, and I know it’s time to keep them. What I wanted when I started was to communicate to the world, and music was how I tried to do it. I can’t read or write music, but it’s what I knew, and when people respond to your music, you’’ve got to look in the mirror and ask, ‘‘Is this what God put me here to do?”
Evidently, Garth Brooks might have looked in the mirror one morning and asked God, “God, is this what you put me here to do?” And God might have answered back, “Well, until today, it was. But today, I want you to do something else. I want you to start being a father to your children. There are promises you have made and haven’’t kept, and now it’s time to keep them.”
