“The 7 Cries of Youth”
Ephesians 6:1-3; Ephesians 1:4; Proverbs 1:8-9; John 15:17
We are continuing in our series called desperate households. I think for those of us who are parents that we have all had ideas about what we think will work as far as parenting is concerned We think about how we will handle discipline, how can we help our kids maintain sexual purity, help them reach their goals and help them learn how to enter the world so that they can be responsible young adults.
..unfortunately there are no classes...we don’t learn about it in school and we find ourselves often at a loss as to how to be an effective parent. When our children are very young there are challenges we face that seem difficult at the time and caring for preschoolers can be. We then find out that those concerns are relatively small in light of what we see in their later years. We try to teach them to love God, to love their family and to love other people. But if we were honest today, every parent here would admit that we haven’t been completely successful. In some ways we all miss the mark.
3 men in the Bible who all had a tremendous amount of wisdom had these words to share with us:
Paul: Ephesians 6:1-3; Ephesians 1:4
Solomon: Proverbs 1:8-9
Jesus: John 15:17
I remember reading about a multi million dollar space probe-unmanned-that was launched from Cape Canaveral to do research on the surface of the planet Mars. They had all the latest scientific gadgets-all the right equipment to gather more information about the planet. Unfortunately, just after the space probe started it’s descent to the surface it abruptly stopped sending information back to the earth. It was as though the spacecraft was suddenly gone. It had crashed into the side of one of the mountains on Mars.
When an investigation was done scientists discovered that the crash was caused by a communication problem between the probe and NASA. We are told that Houston was speaking to the spaceship in terms of meters but the space craft was programmed in terms of yards or feet. In other words someone forgot to tell the programmers to use the metric system and as a result millions of dollars and years of research were wasted.
I remind you of that story today because I believe that teenagers today are headed for a similar fate and for the same basic reason. Many of the teenagers today are on a collision course with some mountain as well-some problem they cannot seem to move beyond-and on the other side parents are unable to COMMUNICATE with them in terms they understand.
So what is it today that our youth need more than anything else? Dr. Timothy Smith tells us that there are 7 things every teenager is desperately crying out for. Here they are:
1. There is a cry for TRUST. Actually there is a cry for trust in all of us. But for many teens today who find ourselves in a family that is dysfunctional this cry for trust is especially present. We know that there are at least 3 characteristics of a family that is dysfunctional. (1) Don’t TALK. (2) Don’t TRUST. (3) Don’t FEEL. Now here is what that means. In a family that is dysfunctional there is some overwhelming problem that is present...it could include any of the following....alcohol or drug abuse, physical or sexual abuse or if the parents are too rigid. All rules, no love. Very distant. Because of one or more of these things being present the child is forced to keep a secret; they are told do not talk about this to anyone...they are not allowed to express their feelings and the end result is that they grow up believing that they have in fact done something wrong and that they cannot trust anyone. Children in these homes often become very lonely and have a strong sense of failure.
In the gospel of John Jesus was speaking to His disciples...they were no doubt very troubled over the news they were hearing that Jesus was going away. What would it mean for them? The one person who had come along and had helped them find real security was now leaving. Realizing this Jesus came to them and said these words: do not let your hears be troubled. Trust in God, trust also in me. What does this say to us? In the midst of a world where many of our youth are troubled and don’t know who to trust they must understand that Jesus is the person who always be there.
2. There is a cry for LOVE. In surveys that have been done through the years one of the things we have learned about teens today is that even though parents may say i love you or give them hugs many young people still do not feel loved. Teenagers crave for someone who will listen to them, who will try to understand their feelings, preferably this will come from their parents but if they do not get it from their parents they will go somewhere else!
Ten years ago the American Medical Association published a study of 12,000 teenagers. The study revealed the fact that teenagers who don’t smoke, drink, don’t engage in premarital sex, take drugs or commit acts of violence-these teens say the #1 reason they don’t do all these things is because they know without a shadow of a doubt that they are loved by their parents . Teens who grow up to be healthy well adjusted adults can almost always look back to at least one parent who loved them unconditionally-a mom or dad who loved them with a love they didn’t have to earn. They are crying out for that kind of love.
3. There is a cry/need for SAFETY/SECURITY. One of the common misconceptions about teens today is that we think they do not want any guidelines; boundaries. We think that because that is what they tell us. They use phrases like:
* just wait until I grow up
* I can’t wait until I get out of this home
* you’re too strict
* why not? Everyone else is doing it.
Don’t befooled. Youth want and need boundaries. Why? Because it makes them feel safe and secure and protected.
4. There is a cry/need for PURPOSE. There is in all of us. It is why Rick Warren’s book The Purpose Driven Life has now been translated into 56 different languages and has sold close to 25 million copies.
So how do we give them purpose? 3 things. These are the 3 D”s of purpose.
(1) Design. They must realize God made them according to His master plan. The psalmist said, I praise you because i am fearfully and wonderfully made. We were designed by Him.
(2) Destiny. We will discover our purpose when we start a relationship with our heavenly Father. He determines our destiny.
(3) Duty. I’m talking about service. We find our purpose through service to others as we discover what we have to offer.
5. There is a cry/need to be HEARD-TO BE LISTENED TO. Teenagers today are growing up in the information age. They are very comfortable with it. The internet has changed everything. But in the middle of all this flood of information many youth feel that their voice is being drowned out and they want to be heard above all the noise. Most of them would actually welcome a serious conversation with a caring adult. They have opinions and they want someone to share them with. But it takes time and too many parents are not willing to give it.
6. There is a cry/need to be VALUED. They simply want to know that they matter to someone. In a recent Gallup survey of teens today 1/3 of them said they feel unappreciated and worthless. As a result they are unable to find their real identity. They ask the question WHO AM I ? ....does my life matter to anyone? They are thrown into that time of on longer being a child but not quite being an adult. As a result they struggle to find their identity. They need someone to tell them that they matter.
7. There is a cry/need for SUPPORT. This means anything from helping with homework to showing up at their ball games. It is one thing to get your kids involved in a lot of activities...it is another thing to be there for them. One thing teens are quick to admit is that they need support and lots of it. They want to be connected and again if we don’t give them the support they need they will look for it somewhere else.
This week I read the true story of a meeting that took place in 1928, the year before the Great Depression. Those attending were among the world’s most wealth people. They met at the Edgewater Beach Hotel in Chicago. The following were present:
- The president of the largest utility company,
- The greatest wheat speculator,
- The president of the New York Stock Exchange,
- A member of the President’’s Cabinet,
- The greatest investor on Wall Street,
- The president of the Bank of International Settlements,
- The head of the world’’s greatest monopoly.
All combined these men controlled more wealth than there was in the entire U.S. Treasury. For years newspapers and magazines had been printing their success stories in order to challenge the youth of that day to follow their examples.
Twenty-five years later, listen to what happened to each of these men.
- The president of the largest independent steel company, Charles Schwab, lived on borrowed money the last five years of his life and died broke.
- The greatest wheat speculator, Arthur Cutten, died oversees, bankrupt.
- The president of the New York Stock Exchange, Richard Whitney, served out a prison term.
- The member of the President’’s Cabinet, Albert Fall, was pardoned from prison so he could die at home.
- The greatest investor on Wall Street, The president of the Bank of International Settlements, and the head of the world’s greatest monopoly all committed suicide.
James Hewett tells this story and gives this conclusion..."All of these men had learned how to make money, but not one of them had learned how to live."
Here is the botton line: Far more important than WHAT we do with our lives, is WHO we become in our living. “Is God interested in the career we choose?”” Absolutely! But, no matter what our careers may become the far more important question is: WHO will I become. Will I let Christ rule my life? Will I be a person rooted and established in the love of Christ? Will I be the person God intended me to be?
