SELF CONTROL
Pastor Eric J. Hanson
August 6, 2006
Read II Peter 1:1-11 and Galatians 5:16-25.
Introduction:
The writings of God through the apostles Peter and Paul could not be clearer on this matter of the Christian life. If a person genuinely comes into a saving relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ, that person comes into a new way of living. It is this changed way of living which is outlined in a broad and major way in the scriptures we have just heard.
To deal with each area touched upon by these scriptures would take a week end seminar with many hours of teaching and interaction. A Sunday morning message can’t begin to do that, and I will not attempt it.
Instead, I intend to focus in on one area of life that God tells us is to be far different after one begins to follow the Lord, than it was before.
Let me add a disclaimer at this point. Self-condemnation tried very hard to talk me out of speaking on this topic. My family members know that my self control is not perfected. There are times that I really miss the mark. It would be much easier on my flesh to preach about Signs of the Last Days, and when the Rapture will happen, or a proper understanding of the Gifts of the Holy Spirit, or many other informational topics.
This one drives me to the Cross of Christ, so that my pride can die there. I must obey the Lord’s leading and not rob the people of this Church, when the Holy Spirit puts His finger on any subject and says to speak on it. So here goes…
Self Control is a part of the fruit of the Holy Spirit. If anyone is growing in the Lord, or as the Bible puts it, “growing in Grace and in the knowledge of the Lord”, they are growing in self control. If there is little self control evident in the life of any professing believer in Jesus, than there is little of the Holy Spirit’s power in that person’s life.
Self control is like a double edged sword. It accomplishes two major things in us. 1. It stops us from doing wrong things. 2. It keeps us going in doing right things.
Self control questions:
Let’s look at some scenarios and questions concerning the presence of self control in your life.
• How are you as a finisher of responsible actions? When it is your turn to do the dishes for instance, and you look over at the overflowing countertop, do you go to it and complete the task in a reliable manner, or are you more likely to end up being a slothful couch potato for the evening, or to go do something fun, and simply fail to do your fair part?
• When the pornographic pop up ad entices you on your computer, do you delete it every time, or do you tend to get drawn away by the lust of the eyes and the lust of the flesh?
• Are you careful to not say negative things about people with whom you are upset, to third parties who are not involved in the situation?
• When it is getting late, and you know that you need to be at your best at school or work early the next morning, do you shut off the TV, or put away the hobby and get the sleep God designed you to need, in order to be sharp.
• When you need to finish your homework and also study for the quiz that’s coming at school tomorrow, do you shut of the video game and just do it, even though its no fun?
• Are you aware that just showing up at work or school, but not being able to give it your best, because the late night already got your best, is a lack of faithfulness in carrying out your responsibilities, and true faithfulness is impossible to maintain without self control?
• When you need to deal with some negative situation, but you know that to do so could and probably will be unpleasant, do you do the hard thing and deal with it, redemptively, and in a timely way?
• When you walk into the mall, and you have a pocket full of credit cards, what is likely to happen?
There could be hundreds of scenarios suggested, and some of them are more drastic than these, but all self control questions are important.
Benefits of self control:
Self control in abundant and increasing measure will stop people from doing or saying vengeful and hurtful things.
Self control in increasing measure will create ways for you to escape from bad habit patterns.
Self control in doing what is right and what is needed will create a stable platform in your life, for faithfulness and reliableness to grow on.
A lack of self control has turned many honest promises into lies. Good self control enhances your reputation on the job and at home, as a reliable person and as one whose word can be trusted. Self control enables honesty to flourish.
How to exercise Self Control:
1. Have an open life.
Sin, like bacteria, multiplies in dark places. It is good to be accountable to trustworthy people for those areas of your life where you tend to stray. Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 says “Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor; for if either of them falls, the one will lift up his companion. Woe to the one that falls when there is not another to lift him up.”
Ecclesiastes also states that a cord of three strands is not quickly torn apart.
A major principle of self control is for each believer to have peers who care about their spiritual condition who will provide help along the road to victory in areas where he or she struggles to control a tendency to do wrong or to fail to do right. Every believer needs to have such friends, with whom he or she maintains a humble and accountable friendship. In addition to peer friends, your Home Fellowship leader, Youth leader, or other responsible person in your life, also can be an important help to you in gaining self control, as you share with that person.
So, have trustworthy friends in the Lord, and be open with them. Call them when the urge to gamble, to spend foolishly, or to view pornography is hitting hard!
2. Flee from sexual temptation.
God’s word is plain about this. I Corinthians 6:18-20 states “Flee Immorality. Every other sin a man commits is outside the body, but the immoral man sins against his own body Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have from God, and that you are not your own? You have been bought with a price: therefore glorify God with your body.”
God knows that if an un-married couple sneaks off alone, or hangs out behind closed doors; temptation can overcome them, even if they are genuine believers. Therefore the prescription for this malady; as prescribed by Dr. Jesus is this: “Run for your life!” Yes, sometimes self control requires physically leaving the scene of temptation, or avoiding such spots to begin with.
You also need to make sure that you do not become emotionally intimate and vulnerable with members of the opposite sex, except for your wife or husband. This practice can seem like innocent friendship and personal supportiveness, but is actually a time bomb waiting to destroy. It quietly feeds the ego too when a man tells a woman or a women tells a man “Nobody else understands or listens as well as you do.” Beware of that. It is an illegitimate intimacy and it is dangerous.
3. Mounting anger: Another time to flee
In a similar way, if you are angry with someone, and you sense that you are about to say things which should not be said, you may need to leave, and re-visit the issues at hand another time. Resolution can only come when there is goodwill.
I have been amazed how many times in pastoral counseling through the years, I have played referee in situations where people who really do care about each other, had come to me after damaging each other horribly by saying escalating, angry, attacking things. They should have walked away in order to cool off, gain perspective and pray things through. Then they could have again approached the other party in an honorable way, not ducking real issues, but not attacking the person.
Yes, sometimes self control requires shutting a heated moment down, in order to return to the topic later with a plan which treats other people as something of value. Such self control helps find resolution without harming the other person, whom God loves.
4. Build up your own spirit.
If your Bible is only for Sundays or for a quick rushed “have to do this” kind of look into the Book; then you are starving yourself spiritually. Malnourished people can never be strong and resilient. The longest chapter in the entire Bible is on the importance of the Bible. Verse 11 of that great chapter: Psalm 119 says to God, “I have treasured your word in my Heart, so that I may not sin against you.” Verse 89 states “Forever O Lord, your word is settled in Heaven!” Verse 105 states that God’s word is a lamp to our feet, to keep us from tripping up; and is a light upon our pathway, to show us which way to go!
If the Bible is not powerfully in your life, don’t expect the fruit of the Spirit to thrive in you.
5. Talk it over with the Lord.
God desires that we bring everything to Him. Philippians 4:6 admonishes us to not worry about anything, but to pray about everything, and to do so with an attitude of thankfulness. There is nothing you are facing that God doesn’t care about. He wants you to take all of it to Him. Verse seven promises that if you do this, the peace of God will guard your heart.
The peace of God is the good soil that the Fruit of the Spirit grow in. If you do not maintain an intimate relationship with our Heavenly Father, you can’t grow His fruit, and you will tend to lash out under pressure.
Talk to Him. Listen to Him. Calm your soul and bask in God’s presence.
6. Press into the church family.
I Corinthians 12:27: “Now you are the Body of Christ, and each one of you is a member of it.” There is no such thing as flourishing believers who are not a vital part of their local church. Such spiritually displaced people are not ministering to their fellow local believers, and they are not receiving ministry from those same members of Jesus Christ’s earthly Body.
Be a vitally connected part of the church family. Participate in both the large group celebration on Sunday mornings and the small group relational connecting which happens in Home Fellowship, Young Adults, or Youth Group.
As Iron sharpens Iron, Proverbs 27:17 tells us that we sharpen each other! All the parts are needed too! Three whole chapters in I Corinthians drive that mighty truth home!
Conclusion
Self control: It has many applications that help us to do right and refrain from doing wrong. The application principles I have just shared are like a tool kit. These happen to be tools made of the finest materials. If these were screwdrivers, they would feature high carbon hardened steel tips.
Even the best tools on Earth do no good for anyone if they are not used. I challenge you today to put these to good use. Watch the fruit of the Spirit begin to grow larger and more healthy in your life as you practice these six vital principles to walking in self control!
I challenge you now. Let’s stand and pray…
