Part 3: Helping Your Children Change
(Series: Heavenly Help for Your Family)
Luke 15:11-24
Sermon by Rick Crandall
McClendon Baptist Church - June 25, 2006
*Change is hard! Mark Twain once said, “The only person who likes change is a wet baby.” (1) And that’s about right.
*Nobody likes change, but life is all about change, and everybody needs change. If you think you don’t, then you probably need it more than anybody else here.
*Today our focus is on changes for our children. And if there ever was someone who needed change, it was this prodigal son. Here was a child who broke his father’s heart. Down in vs. 12, the son said, “Father, give me the portion of goods that falls to me.”
*He was asking for his inheritance ahead of time. So it’s as if he was saying, “Dad, I’d just as soon you go ahead and die. But since you won’t, how about giving me the money that’s coming to me anyway.”
*That young man needed change! And as we look at his story, we can see how to help our children find the changes they need.
1. First, make a maximum effort.
*The dad in this parable made a maximum effort with both of his sons. We see the same thing in the first two parables the Lord told in Luke 15. In vs. 4, the Lord said, “What man of you, having a 100 sheep, if he loses one of them, does not leave the 99 in the wilderness, and go after the one which is lost until he finds it?”
*Then there was the woman in vs. 8. Jesus said, “What woman, having 10 silver coins, if she loses one coin, does not light a lamp, sweep the house, and seek diligently until she finds it?” The Lord was stressing a maximum effort, because He made the maximum effort to seek and save us. Jesus even died on the Cross for our sins.
*And when it comes to our children, God wants us to make a maximum effort too, because our children are a precious gift from the Lord. This is why in Matthew 18:5-6, Jesus said, “Whoever receives one little child like this in My name receives Me. But whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in Me to sin, it would be better for him if a millstone were hung around his neck, and he were drowned in the depth of the sea.”
*The dad in this story never lost sight of the value of his children, and we need to remember how precious our children are. That will help us to make a maximum effort.
*Last Saturday, I was walking in our neighborhood, and I passed a house where a little girl about 3-years-old accidentally got Mom or older sister wet with the hose. The adult screamed her name and then screamed, “What’s the matter with you?”
-I promise you that the scream did a whole lot more damage than the water.
*Pastor John Ortberg once gave us this wake up call: “I look in on my children as they sleep at night, [and] I think of the kind of father I want to be. I want to create moments of magic, I want them to remember laughing until the tears flow . . . I want to have slow, sweet talks with them as they’re getting ready to close their eyes. I want to chase fireflies with them, teach them to play tennis, have food fights, and hold them and pray for them in a way that makes them feel cherished.”
“I look in on them,” John continues, “and I remember how the day really went. I remember how they were trapped in a fight over [a game] and I walked out of the room because I didn’t want to spend the energy needed to teach them how to resolve conflict. I remember how my daughter spilled cherry punch at dinner and I yelled at her as if she’d revealed some deep character flaw; I yelled at her even though I spill things all the time and no one yells at me; I yelled at her -- to tell the truth -- because I’m big and she’s little and I can get away with it. I remember how at nights I didn’t have slow, sweet talks, but merely rushed the children off to bed so I could have more time to myself.” (2)
*Most of us have been there, haven’t we? But God wants us to make a maximum effort for our kids.
2. That’s one way to help our children be all God wants them to be. But also strive to help them see the right road in life.
*If only the prodigal son could have seen where he was headed in vs. 13-16. Listen to these verses again from the New Living Translation:
13. A few days later this younger son packed all his belongings and took a trip to a distant land, and there he wasted all his money on wild living.
14. About the time his money ran out, a great famine swept over the land, and he began to starve.
15. He persuaded a local farmer to hire him to feed his pigs.
16. The boy became so hungry that even the pods he was feeding the pigs looked good to him. But no one gave him anything.
*When that young man he left home, he didn’t know he was headed to the pig pen did he? This is one of the biggest problems young people have when they head off into trouble. They just don’t seem to be able to see down the road.
*It was one of my biggest problems, and I spent six years going down the wrong road before I even started to wise up. I can still remember the day in 1972. I was riding in my car. The Eagles were singing “Take It to the Limit” on the radio. And just as that road ended, I heard these words:
“When you’re looking for your freedom -- (nobody seems to care)
And you can’t find the door -- (can’t find it anywhere)
When there’s nothing to believe in
Still you’re coming back, you’re running back
[You’re coming back] For more
So put me on a highway
And show me a sign
And take it to the limit one more time” (3)
*I suddenly realized that I was on a dead-end road in life. My life had no meaning. There had to be more. That was 3 years before I got saved, but it was a huge turning point for me. I only wish it wouldn’t have taken 21 years for me to begin to see.
*How can you help your kids see the right road in life? One key is to teach them consequences, even at a young age. The Lord wants us to correct our children. He wants us to give them proper discipline. That’s what this dad was doing when he went out to speak to his older son in vs. 31&32, and he said to him, “Son, you are always with me, and all that I have is yours. It was right that we should make merry and be glad, for your brother was dead and is alive and was lost and is found.”
*The Lord wants us to correct our children. This is so important that God speaks about it in the strongest terms possible. The Book of Proverbs says:
-He that spares his rod hates his son: but he that loves him chastens him early. (Prov 13:24)
-Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him. (Prov 22:15)
-Withhold not correction from the child: for if you punish him with the rod, he shall not die. You shall punish him with the rod, and shall deliver his soul from hell. (Prov 23:13-14)
*David Jeremiah just said, “Sometimes we need to apply the board of education to the seat of discipline. (4)
*Thursday I was at Wal-Mart on the potato chip aisle, and I saw this mom correct her little girl. When Mom turned away, that little girl reached out to a bag of chips and squeezed it real hard a couple of times. That little girl needed the board of education applied to the seat of discipline!
*Do all you can to teach your children consequences.
3. That will help them see the right road in life, but also learn your limitations.
*You have to learn your limitations. Vs. 13 tells us that “not many days after, the younger son gathered all together and journeyed to a far country. . .” What could be harder than watching your much-loved and troubled son walk away? But Dad had to let him go. And sometimes we have to do the same thing.
*We like to have a can-do attitude, so one of the hard things to learn in life is that there are some things you just can’t do. Some things are out of your control. If God can’t get His children to do right all the time, then how do you think that you will be able to do it?
*Yes, we must do all we can. But we cannot live our children’s lives for them. We can’t get into their hearts and make them change. Sometimes you just have to let them go -- Especially when they are like the young man in this story, bound and determined to go the wrong way.
*Vs. 17 says that the young man came to himself. This means that before, he was beside himself, almost crazy in a way. So if you are going through a major struggle right now parents. Don’t blame yourself too much. There is no such thing as a perfect parent, and the old cliché is true: “Sometimes we have to let go and let God.” Or as 1 Peter 5:7 says, “Cast all your cares on Him, for He cares for you.”
4. How can I help my children be all God wants them to be? Sometimes we have to learn our limitations. But always be fully committed to Christ.
*Remember that the best way to get your children to live for the Lord is to live for the Lord yourself. The son in this parable could see that his dad was a Godly man. For example, he knew that his dad treated his servants well. We see this in vs. 17, where the son said, “How many of my father’s hired servants have bread enough and to spare. And I perish with hunger!”
*Your children are watching how you treat other people. James Hewett tells about a young mother who found that out as she was driving down the street one day. Her 5-year-old son was in the car with her, and out of the blue the little boy asked, “Mommy, why do the idiots only come out when Daddy drives?” (5)
5. Your children are watching, so make the commitment to follow Jesus Christ in every area of your life. And love them like the Lord loves us.
*Think about how this father loved his rebellious son. His heart was full of forgiveness. Under the circumstances, it would have been so easy to laugh in his son’s face, or at least to say, “I told you so!” It would have been so easy for the father to get mad and stay mad -- “I’ll never speak to him again!” But this dad didn’t so any of that. He forgave, just as God tells us to do Eph 4:31-32. “Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God in Christ also forgave you.”
*This father forgave his son and went far beyond that! This dad had compassion and unconditional love, just like our Heavenly Father. We can see Dad’s love many ways here: Longing for his son and looking down the road, then running to his son, and hugging his son. In vs. 20, the New Living Translation says that the son “returned home to his father. And while he was still a long distance away, his father saw him coming. Filled with love and compassion, he ran to his son, embraced him, and kissed him.”
*A father’s loving touch is a most important thing. We need to be sure to give affection to our children -- Both verbally and physically.
*Pastor Dan Ivins tells a story from his childhood. Dan said that his room was right next to his Mamma and Daddy’s, but when he got scared, it felt so far away, and little Dan did get scared sometimes. When the floor squeaked, he thought it was a robber. When the window rattled, he thought it was a tornado.
*And you know what he’d do? He’d get up and run to the other bedroom where Mom and Dad were sound asleep. Dan said, “I could tell where Dad slept because he was always snoring. I’d reach up and touch my Daddy’s hand and everything was all right. I didn’t have to say anything or even wake him up. That touch -- the assurance that Daddy was there was enough to allow me go back to my room and go to sleep.” (6)
*A father’s touch is a most important thing. This Dad’s love showed in his hug and in his help. As we see this in vs. 21&22: “His son said to him, ’Father, I have sinned against both heaven and you, and I am no longer worthy of being called your son.’ But his father said to the servants, ’Quick! Bring the finest robe in the house and put it on him. Get a ring for his finger and sandals for his feet.”
*This young man was on his last leg, and his dad helped him when nobody else would. That was a good thing! And most dads are already doing it.
*I like this definition of a dad: He’s a man who keeps pictures in his wallet where he used to keep his money! (7)
6. How can I help my children be all God wants them to be? Love them like the Lord loves us, and keep hope in your heart.
*Vs. 20 tells us the prodigal son “arose and came to his father. But when he was still a great way off, his father saw him and had compassion, and ran and fell on his neck and kissed him.”
*This father must have been looking for his son long before he came walking down the road. I can see him working in the morning as he tended his cattle, and he would stop to look down that road. As he stopped to eat his lunch, he would position himself so that he could look down that road. And as the day turned into night, as long as he could, he would look down that road.
*It was a look of hope. This dad never gave up, and neither should you, because it won’t do a bit of good. Keep looking down the road.
*When I was in college in Georgia, I was just as far away from God as I could possibly be. I started drinking heavily when I was about 16, started doing a lot of drugs when I was 19, and for about 6 years, I was a firmly committed atheist, a card-carrying member of the ACLU.
*But every time I went home to Macon, when I walked in the door, my dad would say, “The prodigal has returned!”
*I didn’t have a clue about this wonderful Bible story, and I was as far away from coming home spiritually as I could possibly be. But every time I went home, my dad would say, “The prodigal has returned!”
*He knew it wasn’t true. But he never lost hope. And 10 months before my daddy died, I really did come home, because I trusted in Jesus Christ as my Savior and Lord.
*Even if you are going through the hardest time with your children, please don’t lose your hope.
Conclusion:
*You may not have children today, but this story is for us all, because this Scripture shows us the kind of Father that God wants to be for us all! And He will be, if we receive His Son Jesus as our Lord and Savior.
*That’s the main reason why Jesus told this story. And that’s why Jesus died on the Cross and rose again. He paid the price for our sins, and rose again to conquer death, so that we could have an everlasting relationship with the Heavenly Father through His Son Jesus Christ.
*All of us can have a father like the one in this story! All you have to do is receive Jesus Christ as your personal Lord and Savior! Trust in the Lord today!
1. Mark Twain Quote, Leadership, Vol. 15, no. 3. (Found on Bible Illustrator for windows - Topic: Change Change / Date: 4/1998.1278 / Title: Change Isn’t Popular)
2. (“The Life You Always Wanted,” http://sermonideas.com/Sermon47.asp.) Found in christianglobe.com sermon “With a Little Help from My Friends” by King Duncan - Mark 2:1-12
3. Artist: Eagles / Album: Greatest Hits ’71-75 / Title: “Take It To The Limit”
4. David Jeremiah quote - Original source unknown
5. James S. Hewett, Illustrations Unlimited (Wheaton: Tyndale House Publishers, Inc, 1988) p. 191. (Found on Bible Illustrator for windows - Topic: Children / Index: 1643-1657 / Date: 7/1996.606 / Title: A Child is Listening)
6. From Dr. Dan Ivins, Sermon: “Don’t Lose Hear." (Found on sermonillustrations.com 10-17-04)
7. Original source unknown
