New research on pregnancy literature for dads being presented at Canada’s largest annual gathering of academics recently noticed that Survival guides for today’s "expectant fathers" are becoming increasingly convoluted.
They tend to be either high-minded tomes exhorting dads to abstain from boozing for nine months, or "manuals" that bemoan the wife’s mood swings.
Contemporary pregnancy lit for men veers away from giving medical advice -- the queasy details are often left for the expectant mother to figure out.
Some handbooks continue to reinforce negative stereotypes of fathers as peripheral. In Pregnancy Sucks for Men, the book encourages expectant fathers to treat their wives "like any other savage creature ready to attack," "frightening hungry beasts" that need to be manipulated with food and house chores done properly.
Fathers have been trying to figure out their roles for thousands of years. From hunters who left women to look after children, to today’s Mr. Moms who take paternity leave while their wives go back to work, their seems to be no end to the approaches and visions of fatherhood.
Eli, the Chief priest and Judge of Israel at Shiloh for about 40 years, had not been an entirely successful father. 1 Samuel 2 recounts the painful neglect that this priest of Israel had in his boys lives and the disastrous consequences for him, his family and the covenant community in Israel.
Today it only takes a flick of a TV remote to see what the vision of fatherhood is. From every commercial it seems to be open season on fathers. They are seen as the only safe fodder for ridicule. Gone is father knows best and today’s Homer Simpson in cartoons, sitcoms or movies is reduced to a bumbling buffoon.
With such portrayals, what is a father to do? What guidance and advice should grandparents provide? How should children respond to their father, and what should they look to him for?
In 1 Samuel 2, God provides several lessons on fatherhood the show us the how to and the how not to, in being a successful father. In this section we can see:
1) 1 Samuel 2:11-17 The Standard Ignored 2) Samuel 2:18-21 The Standard Exemplified 3) 1 Samuel 2:22-26 The Standard Failed 4) 1 Samuel 2:27-36 The Standard Held to Account
1) 1 Samuel 2:11-17 The Standard Ignored
At this time, the Eleventh Century BC, , Jerusalem did not belong to the Israelites (that would take place under King David, some 80 or 90 years later) and so the Tabernacle was set up at the city of Shiloh in the northern area of Israel. The international powers of the ancient Near East were transformed from a loosely knit tribal confederation into a united monarchy. Israel is without a human king, and the Israelites are unconcerned with honouring their divine King.
1 Sm. 2:11 the picture of what a positive family involvement can do:
Samuel most likely would have been playing upon the cymbals, or other instruments of music; in lighting the lamps, or similar easy and interesting services (JFB).
Jesus Promissed:
Matthew 19:29 [29]And everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or children or lands, for my name’s sake, will receive a hundredfold and will inherit eternal life. (ESV)
-When our offering of time, resources or talents are sacrificial, they will be especially rewarded by God, as reflective in the devotion that Hannah showed in giving her only son to God.
The Priesthood: should have been the instrument for cleansing iniquity of the people, but which, on the contrary, brought down judgment upon them.
The narrative now turns to:
1 Sm 2:12 Eli’s worthless/wicked sons.
Some translations call them: “Sons of Belial” was a Hebrew way of saying base, worthless, or wicked men. In 2 Cor. 6:15, where it is used as a name for Satan. Eli had falsely considered Hannah a wicked woman (1 Samuel 1:16). Eli’s sons were, in fact, wicked men
It could be said of Eli when he jumped to conclusions of Hannah, that this pointed to a character flaw. Instead of finding out relevant information before making a decision, he rushed to judgement and rebuked; a deadly habit in child rearing, where intent is all important.
-Eli’s two sons were doing a noble thing in being priest but did so for poor motives of private gain. If Eli was more concerned with their heart instead of their occupation, he could have prevented problems before they started, done a more effective job of shepherding their hearts and applied a more timely and relevant rebuke and correction.
Proverbs 22:15 [15]Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline drives it far from him.
Please turn to Romans 1
Hophni and Phinehas did not know the LORD in the sense that they had not been saved by faith.
-Parents cannot give grace to their children, nor does it run in the blood.
-they did not know the Lord; not that they had no knowledge of God for God reveals his general standard to all and all are without excuse
Romans 1:18-21 [18]For the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men, who by their unrighteousness suppress the truth. [19]For what can be known about God is plain to them, because God has shown it to them. [20]For his invisible attributes, namely, his eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly perceived, ever since the creation of the world, in the things that have been made. So they are without excuse. [21]For although they knew God, they did not honor him as God or give thanks to him, but they became futile in their thinking, and their foolish hearts were darkened. (ESV)
Hophni and Phinehas showing no regard to God: they denied him in works, they had no love to him, nor fear of him, and departed from his ways and worship (Gill).
1 Sam. 2:13 The custom of the priests noted what their duties were:
Three sins are charged to them:
1) They robbed the people of their share of the peace offering, not being satisfied with just the breast and thigh (cf. Lev. 7:28–34).
1 Sm 2: 14 describes their frenzy for selfishness, seeking self-satisfaction from any: pan or kettle or cauldron or pot
-Eli should have been supervising his sons in their duty.
-Dads: It isn’t enough for us to assign a task. We must ensure its proper completion with an attitude of service and not gluttony.
-When our children perform a task they impact our families and all those for whom it intersects, like Eli’s sons in
1 Sm 2:14 they did at Shiloh to all the Israelites
2) They demanded meat before the fat had been offered to God, thus shirking the law. (Lev. 3:3-5)
Notice the description in:
1 Sm. 2:16: you must give it now, and if not, I will take it by force."
-Sometime we like our children to be assertive in a macho sense, but bullying is a dishonour to God and does not reflect our calling to be dutiful.
Their actions reflected that of many false teachers today:
Romans 16:18 [18]For such persons do not serve our Lord Christ, but their own appetites, and by smooth talk and flattery they deceive the hearts of the naive. (ESV)
Isaiah 56:11 [11]The dogs have a mighty appetite; they never have enough. But they are shepherds who have no understanding; they have all turned to their own way, each to his own gain, one and all.
3) Third, they wanted to roast the meat instead of boiling it, putting their own carnal appetites first.
To take the flesh of the sacrificial animal and roast it before this offering had been made, was a crime which was equivalent to a robbery of God
-What do we do in our actions that show to our kids that it’s OK to rob God?
-Is an offering of our finances, time or our efforts what comes after the importance we place on work, or entertainment?
-How much time do we put to overtime at work or in leisurely activities and give God what is left over?
-This is robbing God. It promises stern consequences.
1 Sm 2:17
Their sin ... was very great because they treated the offering of the LORD with contempt.
-Process: The sins of the sons went from laxness, to contempt to abomination.
1) 1 Samuel 2:11-17 The Standard Ignored
2) 1 Samuel 2:18-21 The standard Exemplified
In contrast to the wickedness of Eli’s sons was the devotedness of the child Samuel, and the faithfulness of Samuel’s parents, including Hannah who we looked at on Mothers Day.
1 Sm. 2:18 Notice that Samuel was ministering before the LORD, as a boy
-Not only is it important for us as fathers to encourage our children in the worship of God, we should be active in encouraging them to minister.
i. From our discussion on work, we must realize that ministering before the LORD occurs in whatever profession is undertaken that utilizes their God given talent to His glory.
Since the firstfruits of Hannah’s womb had been dedicated to the Lord, she was blessed with three sons and two daughters.
Notice the description in:
1 Sm. 2:19 of the return each year to offer the yearly sacrifice.
-Some assume with a particularly great offering, in this case of their only son, this would excuse further devotion.
i. We can’t simply rest with the profession of faith as a child
-A godly perspective realizes that great devotion lends itself to further and further praise.
i. Some might think is a cold devotion for Hannah in the giving over of her son to God. The text indicates that she attended great care and concern for her son in his provision, in this instance with clothing.
ii. Our responsibility as parents naturally does not stop in prayer or encouragement, but the provision of physical necessities. A whole rounded view of Godly parenting is in view here contrasted with the lack of provision by Eli.
The development of Samuel in v. 21 is noteworthy
Psalm 92:13 [13]They are planted in the house of the LORD; they flourish in the courts of our God.
-We should not neglect in bringing our children to worship. It is genuine worship with Gods covenant people where children can grow in wisdom and be strengthened by the Word of God.
Although it was good that Eli was engaged in ministry
1 Sm. 2:20 Eli would bless Elkanah and his wife
-Service for others regardless of how noble or God honouring, does not truly honour God if we neglect our family.
1 Timothy 5:8 [8]But if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever. (ESV)
The development of Samuel is described:
1 Sm. 2:21 the young man Samuel grew in the presence of the LORD
-We live our lives Coram Deo, before the face of God. Samuel lived in the presence of God, under the authority of God and to the honor and glory of God. It is what each person was designed for by their Creator.
Poem: The greater the man, the greater he will see his role as father. General Douglas MacArthur, supreme commander of Allied forces during WWII said:
Build me a son, O Lord, who will be strong enough to know when he is weak, and brave enough to face himself when he is afraid; one who will be proud and unbending in honest defeat, and humble and gentle in victory.
Build me a son whose wishbone will not be where his backbone should be; a son who will know Thee and that to know himself is the foundation stone of knowledge. Lead him, I pray, not in the path of ease and comfort, but under the stress and spur of difficulties and challenge. Here let him learn to stand up in the storm; here let him learn compassion for those who fail.
Build me a son whose heart will be clean, whose goal will be high; a son who will master himself before he seeks to master other men; one who will learn to laugh, yet never forget how to weep; one who will reach into the future, yet never forget the past.
And after all these things are his, add, I pray, enough of a sense of humor, so that he may always be serious, yet never take himself too seriously. Give him humility, so that he may always remember the simplicity of greatness, the open mind of true wisdom, the meekness of true strength.
Then I, his father, will dare to whisper, “I have not lived in vain.”
General Douglas MacArthur
(Galaxie Software: 10,000 Sermon Illustrations. Biblical Studies Press, 2002; 2002)
1) 1 Samuel 2:11-17 The Standard Ignored 2) Samuel 2:18-21 The Standard Exemplified
3) 1 Samuel 2:22-26 The Standard Failed
Please turn to 1 Tim. 3
1 Sm. 2:22 The sons had failed in their role:
Deuteronomy 17:9 [9]And you shall come to the Levitical priests and to the judge who is in office in those days, and you shall consult them, and they shall declare to you the decision. (ESV)
-The priest was to make intercession between the people and God. Their iniquity disqualified them from doing their role
Paul specified and flushed out the qualities of an overseer in the Church.
1 Timothy 3:1-5 [3:1]The saying is trustworthy: If anyone aspires to the office of overseer, he desires a noble task. [2]Therefore an overseer must be above reproach, the husband of one wife, sober-minded, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, [3]not a drunkard, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money. [4]He must manage his own household well, with all dignity keeping his children submissive, [5]for if someone does not know how to manage his own household, how will he care for God’s church? (ESV)
-Eli’s sons were definitely not above reproach (reputation from among the people, that finally got back to Eli), they were sexually immoral, not the husbands of one wife, violent, quarrelsome and Eli disqualified himself in not keeping his children submissive.
-Such should be the aspirations for fathers today.
When the sons failed to heed their father’s weak rebuke, they fulfilled:
Proverbs 29:1 [29:1]He who is often reproved, yet stiffens his neck, will suddenly be broken beyond healing.
It wasn’t until Eli heard reports of immorality that he finally reproved his sons.
1 Sm. 2:23 Why do you do
-Eli should have known and understood the wickedness of the human heart to deceive and lead into sin.
-Perhaps he felt his kids could do not wrong and he was perplexed. It is the job of the father to restrain evil and correct it whenever it is done.
-We do our kids a disservice to give them “the benefit of the doubt” and blindly assume they can do no wrong and dismiss all matters.
-Some dads just want to be their kids buddy, and think this will gain their respect
Hebrews 12:9 [9]Besides this, we have had earthly fathers who disciplined us and we respected them. Shall we not much more be subject to the Father of spirits and live? (ESV)
Defn: Discipline refers to the process by which one learns a way of life. A disciple was like an apprentice who was learning a trade or craft from a master. Such learning required a relationship between the master who knew the way of life (discipline) and a learner (a disciple). Within this relationship, the master led a learner through a process (the discipline) until the learner could imitate or live like the master.
-The failure of fathers to discipline leads to a lack of social order, respect for all authority and in accordance, a lack of reverence for God.
Ephesians 6:4 [4]Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. (ESV)
1 Sm. 2:24 No, my sons; it is no good report
But it was far too late for his mild verbal reproof to have any effect. They hardened their hearts and so were judicially hardened, like Pharaoh of old, for God had determined to destroy them.
-We was so involved in his work of the instruction of Samuel, that he failed to instruct his own children.
-He failed to restrain or correct his sons and in essence, hated his children.
Proverbs 13:24 [24]Whoever spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him.
There is a reason why there is a progression in dealing with sin:
Mt 28 specifies how we should deal with sin.
-Sins should first be dealt with while they have the least exposure.
There usually is a systemic failure in dealing with sin
-We fail to restrain our own passions
-Those close to us fail to rebuke
-The church fails to discipline
-Society sees the action and the name of Christ is maligned.
1 Sm. 2:25 Eli should have sternly rebuked his kids and directed them to repent of their sins.
1 John 2:1 [2:1]My little children, I am writing these things to you so that you may not sin. But if anyone does sin, we have an advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous. (ESV)
Such a public sin should have had both a private appeal for forgiveness and a public apology.
1 Timothy 5:19-21 [19]Do not admit a charge against an elder except on the evidence of two or three witnesses. [20]As for those who persist in sin, rebuke them in the presence of all, so that the rest may stand in fear. [21]In the presence of God and of Christ Jesus and of the elect angels I charge you to keep these rules without prejudging, doing nothing from partiality. (ESV)
-Eli showed the greatest form of nepotism, favouring his kids over God (v. 29 honor your sons above me). The result was a wholesale disregard for God as some versions translate v. 24 ye make the Lord’s people to transgress (KJV) and an encouragement to sin.
1 Sm 2:26 During this time Samuel was quietly continued to grow both in stature and in favor, his purity and goodness pleasing both ... the LORD and also with men.
This is a phrase reflecting godly development. We hear this of Christ in his humanity:
Luke 2:52 [52]And Jesus increased in wisdom and in stature and in favor with God and man. (ESV)
-Our role of fathers is to encourage both physical and spiritual development. We nurture an incomplete individual if we neglect either.
Poem: Edgar Guest said:
I must be fit for a child to follow,
scorning the places where loose men wallow;
knowing how much he shall learn from me,
I must be fair as I’d have him be.
I must come home to him day by day,
clean as the morning I went away.
I must be fit for a child’s glad greeting;
his are eyes that there is no cheating.
He must behold me in every test,
not at my worst but my very best;
he must be proud when my life is done
to have men know that he is my son.
(by Edgar Guest. Guard Your Heart, p. 84)
1) 1 Samuel 2:11-17 The Standard Ignored 2) Samuel 2:18-21 The Standard Exemplified 3) 1 Samuel 2:22-26 The Standard Failed
Our failures as fathers will eventually catch up with us:
4) 1 Samuel 2:27-36 The Standard Held to Account
The Lord’s rebuke of Eli was as harsh as Eli’s rebuke of his sons had been soft. An unnamed man of God appeared and announced the doom of Eli’s priestly ... house.
-We are to sternly rebuke immorality in our kids reflecting God’s displeasure.
The prophet began by reviewing God’s call to Aaron’s family to be His priest (ex. 29:9), and His generous allowance of sacrificial meats for their sustenance.
-Eli was of the line of Ithamar, the fourth son of Aaron.
-Eli should have shown in his actions and words to his sons what a privilege it was to serve God and how He has provided.
He then rebuked Eli for allowing his sons’ appetites to have priority over the claims of God (v. 29).
The Lord’s previous promise of the perpetuity of the priesthood required that the priests would be men of good character. But because of the wickedness of Eli and his house, they would no longer be allowed to function in the priestly service;
-no member of his family would reach old age; the sanctuary at Shiloh would fall into decay; and Eli’s posterity would be a grief and a shame. Furthermore, both ... Hophni and Phinehas would die on the same day as a sign that all these judgments would come to pass.
Proverbs 5:23 [23]He dies for lack of discipline, and because of his great folly he is led astray.
Illustration: Gold Medalist
In Seoul Korea—At his father’s funeral, American Carl Lewis placed his 100-meter gold medal from the 1984 Olympics in his father’s hands. “Don’t worry,” he told his surprised mother. “I’ll get another one.”
A year later, in the 100-meter final at the 1988 games, Lewis was competing against Canadian world-record-holder Ben Johnson. Halfway through the race Johnson was five feet in front. Lewis was convinced he could catch him. But at 80 meters, he was still five feet behind. It’s over, Dad, Lewis thought. As Johnson crossed the finish, he stared back at Lewis and thrust his right arm in the air, index finger extended. Lewis was exasperated. He had noticed Johnson’s bulging muscles and yellow-tinged eyes, both indications of steroid use. “I didn’t have the medal, but I could still give to my father by acting with class and dignity,” Lewis said later. He shook Johnson’s hand and left the track.
But then came the announcement that Johnson had tested positive for anabolic steroids. He was stripped of his medal. The gold went to Lewis, a replacement for the medal he had given his father.
(David Wallechinsky in The Complete Book of the Olympics, Reader’s Digest)
The kind of children we produce as fathers makes a difference in the eyes of the world but most importantly makes a difference to God and for eternity.
