“The Wise Woman”
Proverbs 31:10-31
“The wise wife is the mediator of God’s blessings to the household.”
05.13.07 – Mother’s day
Sunday Morning Sermon
Intro: (Start with Title and Text)
Amanda and I were young when we met. Both of us were in College, both of us were involved with friends at our respective dorms. Our first date was unplanned, it’s really a long story, I won’t get into, because I would just make fun of myself. My youth minister told me, you should never date a person you wouldn’t marry. So here we are in Bible College – we fall in love and get married. It happens a million times all over the world, every day. We’ve been married 12 years. It will never cease to amaze me – the way God blesses our family through, my wife. Several years ago, we are attending this huge church in Oklahoma City – I’m working at AOL and Amanda’s doing Medical transcription. The church announces that they need people; they preferred couples, to teach the 3 year olds. Amanda signed us up, we didn’t have kids, my only job was crowd control – the preacher’s daughter was in there, she was a handful. Amanda teaches these kids with such a passion. Her passion became my own. I felt God’s calling into ministry again, because of a 3 year old class that I was just helping out with.
Discussion:
I understand men, fathers, are the head of the household. Honestly, I don’t think men in general do enough to earn that position. I think our families; our homes would be in better shape if men stood up and did the responsibilities of being head of the household. I’ll preach that sermon in June.
I think Biblically, God will use the woman, the mom, the wife in the house, as a way to bless the family. I believe a Godly mother, is a blessing to the house, but I know that through the Godly mother, God gives his blessing to the home.
I’ve seen churches give away stuff for the oldest mom, and youngest mom, the most kids present – but we always stayed away from the perfect mom. It’s hard to figure out what the perfect mom would look like – Even Mary the mother of Jesus was considered blessed – but perfect, I doubt it.
So if we were going to find the perfect mom where would we go? Our own mom might be a possibility, well, maybe not. Cause there was that time with the soap and the washing out of the mouth – probably not the tenderest moment. If we were going to find the perfect – the wisest mom – maybe we should look at scripture.
Turn with me if you have your Bible to Proverbs 31:10-31 (read) (advance)
I see four characteristics of the wise woman –
(advance)
I. She Is Valuable (10-16)
This is a poem – I don’t know how literal this stuff is, so if you felt tired after I read the text, that’s ok, but we can draw some good lessons from the Proverbs 31 woman.
a. The question – Who can find a noble wife?
It assumes a negative answer. Listen, you can not find a noble wife. That’s not the way it works.
Like you could go out and just find a wife who is noble – that totally removes the God aspect – I hope he’s more involved than that. I hope you listen to him better than that. (advance)
Proverbs 18:22 – He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the LORD.
i. God brings you the partnership – that will last a lifetime.
Because we are talking wife and not just a woman – she can be found, but it’s God’s timing, God’s will.
We make reality shows out of finding a wife – but it never works – it makes great ratings, but because God is moved completely out, it doesn’t work. If you are building a relationship based on something other than God – it will not work.
This woman that God brings to you and, he blesses you, and she becomes your wife --
b. She is worth
i. More than Rubies – Men, treat her like she is valuable and she will be.
In our text this morning and throughout the book of proverbs it speaks of something being worth more than rubies. It says when a man finds it, he is blessed. But it’s not a wife – it is wisdom.
1. Because she is wise – there’s a very good parallel
Notice what happens around her house:
c. Her husband has full confidence in her – he lacks nothing
He only shows up a few times in this section of scripture – always to compliment and his respect is always a result of what she does.
d. She compliments him all of the days of her life.
i. Not verbally, but with her actions.
e. She takes care of the family
i. Not waiting for them to come to her
ii. She works with eager hands.
iii. She provides food for her family
Listen to me – the value of a person is not determined by the amount you get paid by the hour. The value of a person is not determined by the work or the effort that you give something. Imagine, if I were an all-star quarter back. So I’m this all-star quarter back, and I get drafted – the Chiefs are never any good, so they draft me first over all – Training camp comes and I fall and break my leg and my arm. My value to them, just decreased A LOT. But my value as a person didn’t increase or decrease based on what someone was willing to pay me. Church, your value – regardless if you are mom, or a dad, or a daughter or a son – is not based on an earthly position – but the fear of God. It’s super that she has value in the family – it’s even better that she fears God. (advance)
II. She is a Hard Worker
We’re just going to go over a few of these:
a. She considers a field – she buys the field and then plants a vineyard – notice the husband is not involved
b. She approaches her work with determination
c. Her lamp does not go out at night – she doesn’t sleep
d. When the weather is bad she is prepared with “rich clothing”
Her energy seems endless – her work never done – and her preparation always on target. This wife, this mother, is nothing short of a super-hero. While I know for sure that a mother’s love is endless, and her work is the same – I’ve also known many nights with my mom – when she was exhausted from a long day at work – and that’s OK. I’ve known many nights with Amanda when she was exhausted from a long day of work – and that’s OK. If you stay home with the kids, and are exhausted when you go to bed – that’s OK.
Part of the bummer of preaching this text – the standard is so high, it almost could make a person angry. I’m not telling you that you can never sleep. I’m not telling you that you have to buy land and plant fruit.
e. If you are a mom – a wife
I already know that you work hard. I already know that your investment while it may not be a field of fruit – is with your children, and your husband. And that’s OK. That’s something we honor this morning. A wise wife, a wise mother, a wise person – is also a hard worker.
The Bible does not speak well about those who do not work. (advance)
Proverbs 21:25 – The sluggard’s craving will be the death of him, because his hands refuse to work.
Never is a wise person the same as a person who does not work or labor. It’s always the opposite. Being a mom is a work all its own. Also know that God will honor your efforts, he will honor the investment that you make in your family, he will honor the times you spend your energy out, so that your children have a prepared way ahead of them. (advance)
III. She is a protector (24-29)
We live near a duck pond – right in the back of our house. Just down from us, our neighbors have two big black dogs – both very friendly. At the last of April these ducks like had their babies – we have like a little bit of pond and a lot of ducks. I don’t know what happened for sure, but the momma duck takes off after this dog – maybe he just got too close. It’s kind of funny seeing this duck going after this big dog – You don’t mess with the babies.
The wise wife/mom is given over to the protection of her children and family.
a. She watches over the affairs of the household.
My mom knew the kind of music I listened to, she knew the kind of magazines I read, she knew my friends – I got in trouble at school and she knew it before I got home. My mom was involved. I wonder how many lives would be saved, how many people would still be alive – if mom and dad were more involved in Jonesboro, or Columbine, or Virginia Tech. Hailey is going to know that we care about her – because we are going to listen to her music, we are going to read her magazines; we are going to watch the posters she puts on the wall. You have to get involved in their lives. I know it seems like a different world, but risk being the big dork over a lack of involvement. This woman in our text she did the same thing my mom did.
b. Her Children rise up and call her blessed.
Honestly, a show of hands – how many times in your life has that happened? Your kids rise up, before they ask for breakfast, before they ask where their keys are, before they ask about the weather, or make fun of your hair – your kids don’t rise up first thing in the morning and hug you and call you blessed.
i. The blessing is not from the kids/husband to the mom – like you are blessed to have a good looking husband, and a beautiful daughter.
ii. The blessing flows in the opposite direction– We are blessed to have you as mom/wife.
c. Husband is also involved in the praises
Husband, it is your job to make sure your wife feels needed, acknowledged, loved, encouraged, honored – She is your wife, the one God has blessed you with. She is mother, the one God has blessed you with – you should act like you have received a blessing. Put your energy into that blessing.
d. Your Children will receive a blessing
One of the best things I can do for Hailey is love Amanda. Hailey is blessed by that knowledge that there is security and a foundation. Men, the same is true for you – the absolute best thing you can do for your children is love your wife, communicate with her, and treat her like a blessing. The foundation of our country – is being eaten away at the level of family relationships. It has to stop.
Here’s number 4 (advance)
IV. She is a God-Fearer (30-31)
(advance)
Vs. 30 – Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
Assume that your lamp will see times when it does burn out. Assume that there are times when you it snows and the kids just grab whatever and run out of the house. Assume that your arms are tired, and kind of weak. I read this and I’m exhausted. Who could possibly do all those things? Who could possibly never sleep and still have energy to plant a field of fruit? Those things might not be reachable – I don’t think that’s too big of a jump. Here’s something you can do – more important than all of the above – FEAR GOD.
a. Beauty is passing – we’re going to get serious – things drop. (I won’t repeat that)
i. My stomach which once didn’t prevent me from seeing my shoes – well, now it does.
ii. I was a good looking young man – but without the fear of the Lord – I’m nothing.
I’m just a good looking young man who will at some point in his life not be able to see his shoes because of his stomach.
b. God made beauty – he gave you the eyes to see it, and the mind to appreciate it.
i. Don’t let that be all that’s there.
There must be a foundation of something deeper than the foundation on her face.
ii. She will not look the same in 10 years that she does right now – that’s ok, because neither will you.
If it was just about looks she could trade you in for a newer model, so be thankful.
c. The God-Fearing woman
i. Is someone who is caught in a life-style of knowing God
ii. Believing God
iii. Trusting God
iv. Has the ability to teach her kids the truths about God.
This is someone who is a blessing to the house, because you know things will be done according to God’s will, and not her own – and when you are wrong she will set you straight. Amanda never offers advice about my sermon – she never says, good sermon, but I thought you were a little weak with the second point. I respect her opinion enough to ask her – and she tells me. Because I know that God is central in her life, and she fears the Lord – I ask her. Maybe that’s the way it should be – the husband fears God, and walks daily in that reverence, the wife/mother fears God and she walks daily in that reverence – and together they raise a family of people who believe in and fear God – yeah I’m pretty sure that’s the way it should work. I’m pretty sure that mom and dad working together to raise the kids – is the way it should work.
Conclusion:
I look at my mom – and I look at Amanda – I look at her mom and the women in our lives – and I see the same thing – it’s a characteristic really. I remember several years ago I’m out with my mom and my nephew – and we are at What-a-burger – we don’t have those around here, but they are GOOD. We’re eating, Chris, my nephew says that he wants a cookie. He picked his meal, didn’t really eat much. I told him to give me a few more bites and I would go and get him a cookie – he agreed and my mom agreed. I’m standing in line, and I look over – she’s eating his last few bites.
God has given us these women in our lives – that demonstrate His perfect grace, and his love for us.
God’s grace and love for you – was not so that you would reject or ignore – his grace is given freely even while you reject and ignore – and it’s yours to accept freely. While he gave you a mom – he also gave his SON. So that you and I would have life. Not just so that we could live, but so that we could have something worth living for.
Value – is going to change
Hard working skills – will change
Ability to protect your kids – will change
Love of God and the Fear of God – walking daily in his presence – will change you. It will allow you to become a better person, a better parent, a better child, a better sibling. While the world screams at me to change the outside – God knows, and I know the inside is what matters the most.
While God offers and gives me his grace freely – I have to accept it and apply it to my life, and live it out.
Let’s pray.
