The Four Stages of Motherhood
Tonight, in recognition of Mothers Day this Sunday, we want to celebrate the women who fill the high calling of Motherhood.
Did that video reflect your thoughts about your own mother? Maybe some of you are thinking you only wish you had a mother like that. But you know what? You might not be able to change what kind of mother you had, but you are 100% in control of what kind of mother you are, or will be to your children and grandchildren.
There are four different phases of motherhood represented here tonight;
Contemplating Mothers,
Coming Soon Mothers,
Current Mothers
Completed Mothers.
I thought it would be fun tonight to look into the Bible and find examples of mothers from each of these four stages and see what we can learn from them.
After all, everything God put in His word, He put there for us to learn by.
Let’s start off with the Contemplating Mothers; those women who are not yet mothers, but are seriously considering it.
Contemplating Mothers are women who are either contemplating whether or not they WANT to have children, or are contemplating if she and her husband are physically able to have children.
Now science can play a big role in the ability or inability to have children today. In Bible times, instead of using science, they usually just grabbed another mate to see if that would fix the problem. I have to caution you however, things did not always go well when people took this important matter into their own hands.
Did you know the whole nation of ______________ only exists because Sarah took this matter into her own hands? God had promised her a child, but she was growing impatient, so she gave her husband Abraham to her maidservant, so she would have a child through her.
Something to think about. Now I wont’ stand here and draw the line for what the Bible says is Biblically acceptable and what is not concerning how far to go scientifically to have a child when it seems you are unable.
But the Bible does give us examples like the one I just shared with you, that didn’t turn out very well when man took this kind of thing into their own hands.
The Bible also gives us many examples of adoption; such as Moses, Esther and even Jesus.
I think that is a matter that you and your spouse must commit to serious prayer. Only God can lead you and guide you in such a personal and life-altering matter.
Our Biblical example of a woman who didn’t have a child, but wanted one so desperately:
Hannah, Mother of Samuel
Let’s look at her story given to us in I Samuel. Before we go any farther, realize we are reading the account of this woman in God’s Holy Word, from the book that bears her son’s name! That should give you a hint of how things turned out for her!
Hannah was barren, which means she couldn’t have children. Her heart literally ached inside of her, as many women even today feel, from the pain of not being able to have a child.
I have never experienced the pain of wanting children so badly, but not being able to have them. But I have known couples who have, and it seems to be one of the most heart breaking desires there ever were.
Hannah was feeling this deep kind of pain. I am going to read her account now by pulling out only the key verses from several chapters to give you the condensed version of her story.
I Samuel 1:10-11
10 “In bitterness of soul Hannah wept much and prayed to the Lord. 11 And she made a vow, saying, "O Lord Almighty if you will only look upon your servant’s misery and remember me, and not forget your servant but give her a son, then I will give him to the Lord for all the days of his life, and no razor will ever be used on his head."
I Samuel 1:20, 24-28
20 “So in the course of time Hannah conceived and gave birth to a son. She named him Samuel, saying, "Because I asked the Lord for him."
24 After he was weaned, she took the boy with her, young as he was, along with a three-year-old bull, an ephah of flour and a skin of wine, and brought him to the house of the Lord at Shiloh.
25 When they had slaughtered the bull, they brought the boy to Eli, 26 and she said to him, "As surely as you live, my lord, I am the woman who stood here beside you praying to the Lord. 27 I prayed for this child, and the Lord has granted me what I asked of him. 28 So now I give him to the Lord. For his whole life he will be given over to the Lord." And he worshiped the Lord there.”
Hannah had prayed and begged God for a son. She even promised God that if He would only grant her request, she would give her son back to Him.
God did grant her request, and true to her word, when he was weaned, which means no longer nursing, so he was just a very young child, she took him back to the temple and gave him to the priest to raise.
Now when Hannah found out she was pregnant, do you think it was bittersweet? Do you think it was a hard thing to have to give her young son back to the Priest after she had waited so long for a child? I can’t even imagine.
Hannah was quite a mother. This is one of the most selfless acts I can even imagine.
Just to give you a little glimpse of what happened to Samuel and his mother after that, here are a few more verses that follow:
I Samuel 2:18, 21
18 “But Samuel was ministering before the Lord—a boy wearing a linen ephod.”
21 And the Lord was gracious to Hannah; she conceived and gave birth to three sons and two daughters. Meanwhile, the boy Samuel grew up in the presence of the Lord.”
God went on to use Samuel in many mighty ways. God blessed both he and his mother for their faithfulness to Him.
Oh, and by the way, Hannah visited Samuel every year at the temple, and she would make him coats and take to him. They had a very special relationship. Not only with each other, but also with God.
Other women in this group of Contemplating Mothers, are women who are physically able, but aren’t sure whether they should have children, or whether the time is right.
The Bible clearly states that children are a blessing from God. So, yes, God does want all of us to whom He has given the ability, to have children. But not only to have them, after you have them comes the huge responsibility of raising them to God’s glory.
Let me tell you right now, you will never be able to afford to have children. I don’t know what the current figure is, but when we were having children, I think they said it cost $1 million dollars to raise each child. That is mind boggling, so don’t even go there. I can guarantee you that no one has children as a financial investment!!!! A tax write off maybe, but that’s about it!
Hardly anyone can afford to have children, but God can afford it, and He does provide! This is where your faith really begins to grow. When you have to rely on Him. That’s what He wants from us anyway!
By having children, you will learn far more than you will ever teach them!
Raising children is an experience. And experience in joy, in heart-ache; an experience like no other.
But you’ll never know what you are missing until you have them!
Another category of motherhood is the
Coming Soon Mothers!
These are the mothers who are already expecting, and can’t wait for their child to be born, so they can begin the all-important tasks of motherhood.
Our example for this category is:
Elizabeth, Mother of John the Baptist
The Biblical account of Elizabeth includes the time while she is pregnant and she feels her baby move inside of her.
We begin in Luke where the Angel is talking to her cousin, Mary who has just found out she is also with child.
Luke 1:36-37
36 “Even Elizabeth your relative is going to have a child in her old age, and she who was said to be barren is in her sixth month. 37 For nothing is impossible with God."
Luke 1:39-45
39 “At that time Mary got ready and hurried to a town in the hill country of Judea, 40 where she entered Zechariah’s home and greeted Elizabeth. 41 When Elizabeth heard Mary’s greeting, the baby leaped in her womb, and Elizabeth was filled with the Holy Spirit. 42 In a loud voice she exclaimed: "Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the child you will bear! 43 But why am I so favored, that the mother of my Lord should come to me? 44 As soon as the sound of your greeting reached my ears, the baby in my womb leaped for joy. 45 Blessed is she who has believed that what the Lord has said to her will be accomplished!"
Luke 1: 57-66
“When it was time for Elizabeth to have her baby, she gave birth to a son. 58 Her neighbors and relatives heard that the Lord had shown her great mercy, and they shared her joy.
59 On the eighth day they came to circumcise the child, and they were going to name him after his father Zechariah, 60 but his mother spoke up and said, "No! He is to be called John."
61 They said to her, "There is no one among your relatives who has that name."
62 Then they made signs to his father, to find out what he would like to name the child. 63 He asked for a writing tablet, and to everyone’s astonishment he wrote, "His name is John." 64 Immediately his mouth was opened and his tongue was loosed, and he began to speak, praising God. 65 The neighbors were all filled with awe, and throughout the hill country of Judea people were talking about all these things. 66 Everyone who heard this wondered about it, asking, "What then is this child going to be?" For the Lord’s hand was with him.”
Then the Bible goes on to tell us just who Elizabeth’s child would turn out to be, and what his purpose was here on this earth.
Luke 1:76-79
“And you, my child, will be called a prophet of the Most High; for you will go on before the Lord to prepare the way for him,
77 to give his people the knowledge of salvation through the forgiveness of their sins,
78 because of the tender mercy of our God, by which the rising sun will come to us from heaven
79 to shine on those living in darkness and in the shadow of death, to guide our feet into the path of peace."
Little John grew up to be John the Baptist. He was known as the forerunner of Christ. His purpose was to prepare the way, to prepare the hearts of the people to accept Jesus for Who He is, the Lord and Savior.
John and Jesus then were second cousins. John was 6 months older than Jesus. John’s mother was an old woman, Jesus’ mother was a very young one.
But both women knew the baby they carried had a special purpose to fulfill in this life. Just as all of us do, though non as great as Christ Jesus Himself.
They treasured their children, even before they were born.
Both of these women listened closely to God, and always kept His words concerning their child, in their heart, and pondered them.
To all those coming soon mothers I say, your duties of motherhood have already begun. Begin now to pray for your child. Treasure your child. And plan now how you will raise your child to fulfill the special purpose God has planned for them.
Our next group of mothers is the
Current mothers.
Now these women are easily recognizable. They are the ones whose nerves are on end. They often look exhausted and frazzled!
Why do they look that way? Because they are hot and heavy into the earth-changing work of motherhood right now. They are fighting Satan every day for the souls of their children.
Mothers, you will like this. Our Biblical example of the Current Day Mother is:
Mary, Mother of Jesus
Now you are probably thinking, that’s not fair, she had a perfect child!
You’re right, her child was perfect, but she was not! She had the same fears, thoughts and battles that you do.
In fact, I would venture to say that her job was even harder because she was responsible for raising GOD!
What’s even worse, one time, she even lost Him! What do you do when you lose a 12 year old God?
She did what any mother would do. She panicked!!!
When she finally found Him, she gave Him a good scolding.
Let’s look at it in:
Luke 2:48-52
48 When his parents saw him, they were astonished. His mother said to him, "Son, why have you treated us like this? Your father and I have been anxiously searching for you."
49 "Why were you searching for me?" he asked. "Didn’t you know I had to be in my Father’s house?" 50 But they did not understand what he was saying to them.
51 Then he went down to Nazareth with them and was obedient to them. But his mother treasured all these things in her heart. 52 And Jesus grew in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and men.
Since Jesus is perfect, He never back-talked His mother, although in her frame of mind, it probably sounded like it.
Jesus gave her the honest answer, as a twelve year old would. She didn’t know what to say, so she just pondered it in her heart. The Bible tells us she had a lot of things in her heart that she was pondering! You can imagine!
When Jesus was an adult, she may have thought she was done with her motherhood responsibilities, but a mother’s heart is never done.
She was actually a big part of Jesus’ first miracle!
They had gone to a wedding feast together. Which I’m sure she enjoyed, because once your children are adults, you don’t get to see near enough of them (Clear your throat loudly so your children can hear!)
But while they were there, a problem came up. The host of the wedding had run out of wine. Big oops!
Mary, always trying to keep everyone happy went to the One she knew could help. He gave her another one of those answers that a mother could let get under her skin, but again, she overlooked it and told the servants to do whatever He told them to do.
John 2:3-5
3 When the wine was gone, Jesus’ mother said to him, "They have no more wine."
4 "Dear woman, why do you involve me?" Jesus replied. "My time has not yet come."
5 His mother said to the servants, "Do whatever he tells you."
Of course, if you read the rest of the story, you will find that Jesus performed His first mighty miracle and there was the best tasting wine anyone had ever tasted, and plenty of it. It sure made the wedding host look good!
Those were two mothering episodes that Mary found herself in that were light hearted in comparison to what was to come.
When Jesus was hanging on the cross, dying there for the sins of all people, His mother, Mary, looked on.
She was there, standing at the foot of the cross.
Now mothers, I know you all go through difficult times with your children. And I know how they can break your heart.
But I would venture to say nothing could compare to the pain Mary was feeling for her child at this time.
But let’s look at her reaction. As the mother of an adult child, she did not try to interfere. She trusted and supported His decision to die there. She could have started beating up soldiers, and kicking and screaming and telling everyone to get away from Him and to leave Him alone.
But as hard as it must have been for her, she controlled herself, and let her adult Son live the life He had chosen to live.
Aren’t we glad this mother didn’t try to interfere?
John 19:25-27
“Near the cross of Jesus stood his mother, his mother’s sister, Mary the wife of Clopas, and Mary Magdalene.
26 When Jesus saw his mother there, and the disciple whom he loved standing nearby, he said to his mother, "Dear woman, here is your son," 27 and to the disciple, "Here is your mother." From that time on, this disciple took her into his home.”
Jesus, even in excruciating pain, and with His dying breath made sure His mother would be taken care of.
This is not only an example for mothers to follow, but Jesus also, gave an example for all of us children to follow to. Take Care of Your Mother.
The last group of mothers we want to look at tonight is the
Completed mothers.
These are the mothers who have already raised their children. There job is done! Or so they thought.
Hopefully they aren’t allowing their grown children to remain children, but are forcing them to become adults. If they have done their job well, their adult children are self supporting and well adjusted.
But even if that’s the case, they may now they find themselves with grandchildren. There is a whole new generation needing their wisdom and guidance!
We are new to this grandparent thing, we only have one grandchild and he is only 9 months old. But already I can see the number one advantage of grandchildren.
You can give them back when you are done!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
But really, even as grandparents we have a responsibility to help teach and guide these children in the ways of God.
A perfect example of this is given in one single verse in the New Testament. And we have two examples for this category:
Eunice - Mother, and Lois - Grandmother
of Timothy
Timothy was a young adult at this point, and the great evangelist Paul was grooming him for the Lord’s work.
While spending time with Timothy, Paul paid a great complement, not only to him, but also to his mother and grandmother.
II Timothy 1:5
“I have been reminded of your sincere faith, which first lived in your grandmother Lois and in your mother Eunice and, I am persuaded, now lives in you also.”
Eunice and Lois had done an excellent job instilling their values into their son and grandson.
That is our most important job as parents.
Let me sum all this up for you. The best way to fulfill your motherhood role is to:
MOTHERS;
• Make the choice to have children,
• Value and treasure your children for who they are.
• Prepare them for their God-given purpose
• As they grow older, trust them, support them, but don’t interfere
• Instill in them your faith and values
And let me close with one final verse.
Psalm 113:9
“He (God) maketh the barren (childless) women to keep house and to be a joyful mother of children. Praise ye the Lord.”
Mothers, enjoy your role of motherhood. Be a joyful mother.
Motherhood comes in stages. Some stages are harder than others. All of them bear great responsibility.
Mothers, God bless you. Can I pray for you?
Let’s pray.
