Last week we concluded from Scripture that God isn’t the bogeyman some people make Him out to be. (“Does God Punish Us When We Sin?”)
Instead of being inclined to punish us when we sin He is actually more inclined to show us mercy. He loves us so much that Jesus suffered our punishment. When He does punish is not in vindictiveness. His punishment is just because it stems from His perfect nature and His desire to protect. If we trust in Jesus and walk in the light, our sin and punishment problem can be solved.
Today in our series on “The God Questions” we’re going to try and clear up another vital misconception about God. This is another mistaken belief, sadly, that unnecessarily keeps people from enjoying God’s friendship.
The church should address any misconception that Satan uses to discourage people from knowing God.
Here’s the dilemma: because God has given us guidelines on how to live (“Here are the things you should do; here are the things you shouldn’t do.”), many have wrongfully concluded that God is a killjoy, a transcendental wet blanket who throws cold water on all of our attempts at having fun.
His rules are a big “keep out” sign to a lot of people. And they think the activities God wants us to abstain from must surely be wonderful experiences. He’s just keeping them from us because He’s so paranoid that we might become God-like ourselves.
This is an old trick the tempter has used since the beginning. Remember what he said to Eve about eating the forbidden fruit?
The tempter’s lie:
“God knows that your eyes will be opened as soon as you eat it, and you will be like God, knowing both good and evil.” Genesis 3:5 (NLT)
Paraphrase: “God’s just trying to keep you from something that will advance your knowledge, your bliss, your gratification.” Believing that lie turned out to be a very costly mistake for the human race. Eve is not any guiltier than the rest of us. We’ve all fallen for it.
Because of this misunderstanding a lot of people don’t want anything to do with God. People who have bought into this misinformation and propaganda see God as a grinch and they imagine the life of a Christ follower as dull and boring. They’re afraid that if they follow Christ their life will be stodgy and stuffy. They don’t want to lead the colorless existence they erroneously believe you have to live in order to be a Christ follower. To them, part of the package of following God is you have to be somber all the time and frown a lot.
If you’re one of those people that doesn’t want to live a bland life (which is probably most of us) - the Bible, God’s Word, has some very good news for you!
God did NOT create you to live an uninspiring, uninteresting, and unstimulating life! God formed you with this tremendous propensity for joy and pleasure – and yes, even fun. He wants you to use this passion He has given you to live life to the fullest! He is NOT trying to keep you from enjoying life by giving you rules. He’s trying to give you boundaries in order to help you enjoy the kind of life for which He created you!
Jesus Himself made this very clear. He said:
“The thief comes only in order to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have and enjoy life, and have it in abundance (to the full, till it overflows).” John 10:10 (Amp)
Circle “have and enjoy life.” Doesn’t sound to me like Christ intended for His followers to go around frowning all the time. What Jesus taught us is – living a life of frowning is the devil’s game. He’s the thief who wants to rob us of our zest for life. Jesus came so that we could have real life and enjoy life!
I’m not saying that enjoying life is about fun and pleasure all the time, or even that seeking fun and pleasure should be our main goal in life. But God not only created us with the capability of enjoying fun and pleasure but also with the divine approval of doing so.
Just because He gave us boundaries for our own good doesn’t mean He is against us enjoying life. He’s simply trying to protect us from doing things that will eventually bring us harm and sadness. He’s trying to teach us to live a balanced life.
Let’s start with sex. Is God against sex? Is sex a guilty pleasure or a godly pleasure?
Well we happen to be in luck as far as knowing God’s answer to this inquiry because this very question was asked and answered in the Bible - when Paul was corresponding with the church at Corinth in ancient Greece!
“Now, getting down to the questions you asked in your letter to me. First, ’Is it a good thing to have sexual relations?’" 1 Corinthians 7:1 (Msg)
The KJV says, “Is it good for a man not to touch a woman?” This is a euphemism, a polite figure of speech, but from Paul’s response we see the question of the Corinthians was not just about touching. It was indeed about having sex.
Among the false religions in Corinth, there were 1,000 temple prostitutes. Sex was actually integrated into the practice of their false religion.
These new Christ followers at Corinth wanted to know how they were supposed to live in contrast to false religions. What was the place of sex in the life of a Christ follower? Is sex good?" Evaluate Paul’s answer.
"Certainly—but only within a certain context. It’s good for a man to have a wife, and for a woman to have a husband." 1 Corinthians 7:2 (Msg)
This tells us that God’s plan for marriage is heterosexual, not homosexual.
Paul continues...
"Sexual drives are strong, but marriage is strong enough to contain them and provide for a balanced and fulfilling sexual life in a world of sexual disorder." 1 Corinthians 7:3 (Msg)
People are looking for fulfillment in their sex lives and here the Bible tells us it comes from marriage. Surveys have overwhelmingly shown that the most satisfying sex is married sex.
Next Paul describes how to have a marriage with a fulfilling sex life.
"The marriage bed must be a place of mutuality—the husband seeking to satisfy his wife, the wife seeking to satisfy her husband. Marriage is not a place to ’stand up for your rights.’ Marriage is a decision to serve the other, whether in bed or out. Abstaining from sex is permissible for a period of time if you both agree to it, and if it’s for the purposes of prayer and fasting—but only for such times. Then come back together again. Satan has an ingenious way of tempting us when we least expect it. I’m not, understand, commanding these periods of abstinence—only providing my best counsel if you should choose them. Sometimes I wish everyone were single like me—a simpler life in many ways! But celibacy is not for everyone any more than marriage is. God gives the gift of the single life to some, the gift of the married life to others.” 1 Corinthians 7:4-7 (Msg)
There’s a lot of good biblical advice here but let’s just look at the big picture for the sake of today’s topic.
And please keep in mind that we’re not talking about guilt from sins in your past. If you have asked for and received God’s forgiveness for past sins then the message today is not to condemn your past but to protect your future.
Is God against sex? Or, as the Corinthians asked in their letter to Paul, “Is it a good thing to have sexual relations?” In regard to God’s command that sex is just for heterosexual marriage partners, is He trying to keep us from other sexual experiences that will bring us more joy in life? The answer?
1. Sex is a good thing in my life as long as I practice BALANCED FULFILLMENT in heterosexual marriage.
Yes, sex is pleasurable and it has the potential to bring us fulfillment. God, our Creator, designed it that way. In God’s plan, sex was designed for heterosexual married couples to enjoy the pleasure and excitement of sexual relations. It is a tender and yet very passionate bond between two people. God created sex to be fun, exciting, and pleasurable. At the same time, though, it is clear in the Bible that God restricts sexual activity to heterosexual married couples.
God does not limit sex to heterosexual married couples to rob pleasure from those who are unmarried, or to those who are of the same sex who want to have sex together. Rather, God gave us sex in the context of heterosexual marriage to actually increase our sexual fulfillment. That blows a lot of people’s minds.
The best sex is married sex! Why?
For one thing,
a. I need to practice balanced fulfillment to keep from becoming addicted.
Consider this Bible verse, also taken from Paul’s correspondence with the Corinthians.
“Some of you say, ‘We can do anything we want to.’ [Sounds like someone in our culture talking doesn’t it? And it’s amazingly true. God gave us a free will. He doesn’t force us to follow His rules.] But I tell you that not everything is good for us. So I refuse to let anything have power over me." 1 Corinthians 6:12 (CEV)
Circle those two powerful phrases: “not everything is good for us,” and, “I refuse to let anything have power over me.”
When something has power over us it can be called an addiction. When we are enslaved to a habit or practice or to something that controls us psychologically or physically, especially if stopping this behavior causes us some trauma, that is an addiction.
Addictions can wield tremendous control in our lives. They can cause us to make wrong choices; damaging choices. Addicted people do irrational, foolish, sometimes heartbreaking things. Addictive behavior is self-destructive behavior.
God wants to protect us from ourselves. He has given us sexual boundaries to keep us from hurting ourselves – to keep us from being controlled by something that has the power to harm us. I need to follow God’s boundaries for my own good. God loves me and wants what’s best for me. Without boundaries I am subject to addictions. There is nothing fulfilling about being addicted.
And we need to be careful not to just think about addiction in terms of narcotic drugs or alcohol or sex. I can be addicted to food. I can be addicted to TV. I can be addicted to shopping. Anything that controls me is an addiction. Natural things, good things, can be abused. They too can become an addiction. They can be used out of the context God meant for them to be enjoyed. It is then that they begin to control us instead of us controlling our appetites.
Time won’t allow us to address all of the issues of addiction in the context of this message today. Addictions can be tied to some very deep-rooted spiritual and psychological frustrations. If you are addicted to alcohol, or sex, or food, or work, or whatever, you need to seek help. Maybe join a support group. Hopefully you can open up and share your hurts in the context of caring, knowledgeable Christian
God IS NOT against sex. His rules are in place to protect us from the pain of our sexual appetites controlling us. If I follow God’s guidelines in sex I can have the greatest sexual fulfillment possible.
Another reason God gives me boundaries is to keep me from being selfish. Why does God direct me in the path of balanced fulfillment? Because…
b. I need to practice balanced fulfillment to keep from becoming selfish.
And just like addiction, selfishness is not fulfilling – contrary to faulty human reasoning.
Sex outside of marriage is selfish sex. Sex outside of marriage says, “I want to experience pleasure without commitment to anyone else but myself.”
Many live by the principle “if it feels good do it.” But contrary to what you might think – selfishness is not actually in your best interest. Selfishness causes you to use people and when you do that - you suffer fractured relationships. No one wants to be exploited in order that your selfish desires can be met. (At least no one that wants to be in a healthy relationship with you.)
True love is not selfish – it’s unselfish. The Bible says this about love.
"Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way." 1 Corinthians 13:4-5a (NLT)
Circle “it does not demand its own way.” That’s a great principle to follow in every part of your life - not just your sex life.
God has not given us sexual boundaries because He’s trying to tell us that sex is dirty. God created sex. It’s His idea for heaven’s sakes! And everything that God created is good!
He’s communicating to us that sex is such a beautiful and special act - that is to be shared with someone of the opposite sex to whom we’re spiritually, morally and legally committed. To someone we can love unselfishly. And that is where true sexual fulfillment comes from!
Now let’s talk about fun and pleasure. God’s not against sex. He’s pro-sex – as long as it’s in the context of balanced fulfillment in heterosexual marriage - so what about fun and other pleasure? Is God against fun and pleasure?
2. God wants me to enjoy the right kind of pleasure as long AS LONG AS I PUT GOD FIRST.
We’re well aware of the warnings in the Bible about going to the extreme in having fun and we know about all of the warnings of avoiding “sinful pleasure.”
Here’s one for example.
“You have spent your years here on earth having fun, satisfying your every whim, and now your fat hearts are ready for the slaughter.” James 5:5 (LB)
This Bible verse is not condemning fun. It’s warning us of the dangers of living a lifestyle of “satisfying your every whim.” It’s warning us of overdoing it. Not having limits. Living without boundaries. Just like in sex, we need to balance our fulfillment in every other pleasurable activity.
The problem with having fun is the Bible says people can love fun instead of loving God.
“They will not stay true to their friends. They will act without thinking. They will think too much of themselves. They will love fun instead of loving God.” 2 Timothy 3:4 (NLV)
That’s a very serious problem. Circle that phrase, “they will love fun instead of loving God.” It’s a big drawing card for the devil. He can really get people with this one. We have this human tendency to get carried away with our pleasures. But make no mistake about it. The Bible is not condemning fun. It’s condemning substituting God with fun. When am I having too much fun? When my pursuit of pleasure overtakes my pursuit of God.
But do you know what else is a serious problem? Going to the other extreme. Discarding all fun and pleasure out of our lives to the point that we become spiritual zombies. I’ve seen a lot of these kinds of people and “no thank you,” I don’t want to be one because I don’t think the Scripture teaches it. I do not want to be a Pharisee.
I think it is detrimental to the spread of the Good New about Jesus. I think it’s why some folks quit the church. They were taught that if something is fun it’s wrong. I think it’s why a lot of people don’t want anything to do with becoming a Christ follower.
There are fun things that aren’t wrong. I am not more spiritual by having a bigger list of fun things I won’t do on my list than you have on your list. But that’s precisely the bad press being distributed by a lot of Christ followers.
In the back of your minds some of you are afraid to have fun. Afraid it might open the door to mischief. Well you know what? It might. And I know the Bible teaches we ought to be careful of engaging in any activity that might lead us into sin. But not having fun might just open the door to mischief as well. You might become so dull and bored in your life that temptation to engage in sinful pleasure becomes more alluring to you.
I know fun and pleasure seeking can’t take the place of God. (Ecclesiastes 2) I know some pleasures are sinful and we shouldn’t have anything to do with in the first place. (Hebrews 11:25)
But what about fun and pleasures that aren’t inherently sinful? Can I enjoy a bowl of ice cream? Can I take pleasure in being with my family and friends? Is it all right to ride a roller coaster?
What can I do to enjoy fun and pleasure in their proper priority?
a. Enjoy the things God has given you but don’t place your hope in them.
“Command those who are rich with things of this world not to be proud. Tell them to hope in God, not in their uncertain riches. God richly gives us everything to enjoy.” 1 Timothy 6:17 (NCV)
Circle that phrase, "God richly gives us everything to enjoy." Some Christ followers act like they didn’t know that was in the Bible.
I can enjoy material things, I can enjoy activities as long as there aren’t specific admonitions or principles in the Bible against them. But I should’t place my "hope" in them. I cannot trust these things to be anything more than temporary satisfactions and distractions from stress and labor.
But it is fitting to enjoy God’s blessings at times.
Take Nehemiah’s party. Some of the people thought spiritual revival was only about mourning.
9Then Nehemiah the governor, Ezra the priest and scribe, and the Levites who were instructing the people said to them all, "This day is sacred to the LORD your God. Do not mourn or weep." For all the people had been weeping as they listened to the words of the Law. 10 Nehemiah said, "Go and ENJOY choice food and sweet drinks, and send some to those who have nothing prepared. This day is sacred to our Lord. Do not grieve, for the joy of the LORD is your strength." Nehemiah 8:9-10 (NIV)
It’s okay to enjoy life. It really is. I just shouldn’t place my ultimate trust in a good time.
b. I need to seek ultimate pleasure in God.
Sadly this is a totally foreign concept to many. God and pleasure just don’t go together in our minds. But if you want true fulfillment in life, and in the life to come – it comes from seeking God.
“And it is impossible to please God without faith. Anyone who wants to come to him must believe that God exists and that he rewards those who sincerely seek him.” Hebrews 11:6 (NLT)
The true satisfaction the human soul longs for is found in a personal relationship, a friendship, with God. True satisfaction doesn’t come by seeking my will but rather by seeking God’s will. That’s why Paul said:
“Yes, everything else is worthless when compared with the infinite value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have discarded everything else, counting it all as garbage, so that I could gain Christ and become one with him.” Philippians 3:8-9a (NLT)
The bottom line question is, “Are you one with Him?” Do you know Christ and are you seeking to do God’s will as your greatest pleasure in life? God is not against you experiencing the joy of sex or any other pleasure. He hasn’t given you boundaries to make your life less enjoyable. To the contrary – God’s way will be the most fulfilling way to live.
Will you make a commitment today to live God’s way?
Let’s pray.
