MOVIE CLIP – “SAVE THE LAST DANCE”
Lead character is on the stage auditioning when she stumbles. She feels she cannot make it, when her close friend enters stage left and challenges her, leading up to him saying, “I believe in you.” She tries again and succeeds.
What a beautiful lesson of encouragement. Her supporting friend was also a dancer, therefore understanding what she was facing.
You have your own stories of being encouraged at just the right time. It may have been the phone call that said, “I couldn’t get you off my mind and thought I should call”; the card that showed up in the mail when you thought no one knew or cared; the invitation to coffee; the word that told you there was nothing to worry about because things would be okay.
There’s another angle to this subject. It features the question, what are your experiences of being the encourager instead of the encouraged? We all need to be encouraged. Do we however have an obligation to be encouragers? Does the Bible have anything to say to us on these fronts? I think so, both directly and implied. I also have a sense that it is much more than telling someone they did a good job in a particular way, which certainly has its value. The lesson of deepest significance in our Bible reading is that responsibility of encouraging one another to hold on in faith and relationship with God. It is there that we must be encouraged never to quit. We can find this lesson in the Book of Hebrews the 10th chapter. We are told in verses 24-25, “let us consider how to stimulate one another to love and good deeds, 25not forsaking our own assembling together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another; and all the more, as you see the day drawing near.” Pastor and author, Chuck Swindoll says of these verses, “it isn’t just a suggestion, an off-the-cuff, casual idea like, “Oh, by the way,…it might be good, while your holding fast to the faith, to toss in a little encouragement.” The whole family of God is responsible to encourage others.
One of the first implied encouragement lessons in our Bible reading is this:
1. Encouragement begins with appreciation
Verses 8-10…
Can you see the love and passion that Paul feels for the people that he speaks of wanting to see? This does not mean however that there were no challenges and disputes with them. In chapter two one reads of Paul’s strong words about the behaviour of many and his rebuke would lead one to think that from chapter one to chapter two he changed his mind about how he felt! No, it was because of his deep love for them that he would not go easy on them. Before his conversion, his awakening to God’s plan for life, Paul was a persecutor of the Church. He was blind to the hope of life through Jesus Christ. When Paul was delivered from that destructive path he worked hard to keep those he led in the path of truth and godly living. Paul walked where they were headed. He fully understood the innocent stupidity of ignorance and believing something to be true that was not; he knew too well the dangers and condemnation of blindness to truth that can lead one on exploits and convictions that feel so absolutely right yet be absolutely misguided and disastrous. His encouragement was borne out of his appreciation for who they were – they were God’s people!
If we are to be encouragers, we have to learn to see the good in people; to look for the best first; to believe the finest of someone until that person gives us evidence to think something different. If we cannot appreciate the redemptive qualities in people, we cannot be effective in the work of encouragement.
It is that experience in the life of a young man who frequently attending the local church of The Salvation Army in his community. His family history was quite sketchy and unknown. The realities of his current life saw him living in a private bedroom in a public men’s facility. His possessions were meager enough to be stored in a single-door closet – most of it on the floor with two or three garments hanging on the rack. He hung his ragged, stained, smelly garments as if they were the finest pin-stripped suits in the world! The church also arranged pick-up for him every Sunday and for any weekly functions he was eligible to attend. This teenage lad was not known to keep him self well hygienically. It was not uncommon for the drivers to suggest he go back to his room, shower and be ready when they came back around 30 minutes later. There were any number of people who continued this frequent routine of encourage his finest, picking him up, taking him home and making sure he was always part of the family. Why? Because they appreciated his struggles and unfair turn of events. They could not imagine what life must have been for him all those years but they knew they could make the here and now much brighter with purpose and friends.
If we cannot appreciate the redemptive qualities in people, we cannot be effective in the work of encouragement.
Tall order – how can I learn to appreciate the redemptive qualities in people so I can be effective in the ministry of encouragement and obey God in this teaching?
2. Encouragement is inspired by empathy
Verse 11…
Now, here is one of the most fascinating lessons of this reading – Paul had not met this people yet! He had no part in building the church in Rome – Paul had never been to Rome yet.
Apathy – I do not feel anything for you at all
Sympathy – I feel for you in your experience
Empathy – I feel with you as your experience becomes mine
Before Paul became a Christian he had nothing in common with these people that he now cared about. Once he became a Christian however, things changed – PAUL CHANGED. People who sponsored and backed his persecution campaigns came to hate him and tried to have him killed. His campaign organizers now deserted his new-found mission and purpose. Paul faced multiple near-death experiences of being beaten, stoned, whipped and left for dead (see 2 Corinthians 11:16). In other words he was facing what other Christians had been going through for being followers of Jesus Christ. And so, in the face of overwhelming opposition and challenges he offered this word of refreshing invitation and hope: 11 For I long to visit you so I can share a spiritual blessing with you that will help you grow strong in the Lord. He extended hope to them. He wanted to encourage them so they would keep going. The blessing he offered was the evidence of his own endurance wanting to inspire others to believe they could beat the odds!
“The Gaithers” is a sweeping phenomenon around the country and the world. There may be several reasons that contribute to this reality. The deepest, probably most significant, unspoken quality that underlines everything is related to the life-experiences that meet every time they get together. They sing of going Home, of overcoming life’s challenges and winning battles when the odds are insurmountable. The screen is splashed with images of people with raised hands and flowing tears. The message says the same thing – they all come together with the troubles of their individual lives to encourage one another with the common thread that inspires and motivates them to keep going – it’s Jesus Christ and the hope He gives them; it is the common reality of their relationship to God and the knowledge that He is enough for whatever comes!
We can only encourage to the extent that we are willing to strip away the façade of having perfect lives. The gravest mistake that robs of us of rich community is captured in the words of Bruce Larson, minister at Crystal Cathedral and author of multiple books. He tells us that he discovered what’s wrong with the church in our time. He says, “You put on your best clothes … but you don’t bring your life! You leave behind all your pain … your hopes, even your joys.”
Pastor Chuck adds bite to this stinging truth when he wrote, “The family of God is not a place for verbal put-downs, sarcastic jabs, critical comments and harsh judgement. We get enough of that from the world. This is a place we need to assemble for the purpose of being encouraged…a place we are free to be ourselves.”
Ken Medema, blind songwriter wrote the powerful words of a song called “If this is not a Place” which is so fitting to the message of what the family of God should be.
“If this is not a place where tears are understood,
Then where shall I go to cry?
And if this is not a place where my spirit can take wings,
Then where shall I go to fly?
I don’t need another place for tryin’ to impress you
With just how good and virtuous I am, no, no, no
I don’t need another place for always being’ on top of things
Everybody knows that it’s a sham.
I don’t need another place for always wearin’ smiles
Even when it’s not the way I feel.
I don’t need another place to mouth the same old platitudes
Everybody knows that it’s not real.
So if this is not a place where my questions can be asked,
Then where shall I go to seek?
And if this is not a place where my heart cry can be heard,
Where, tell me where, shall I go to speak?
So if this is not a place where tears are understood,
Where shall I go, where shall I go to fly?”
Is our church a place where people can be real, vulnerable and show each other how we’re feeling without fear of judgment and rejection? The answer is found in how we categorize ourselves as apathetic, sympathetic, or empathic.
How do we become people of empathy?
3. Encouragement is a two-way street
Romans 1:12…
There is room in our thinking for having a healthy opinion of ourselves and to exercise healthy self-centeredness. By this I mean that as much as we desire and aim to give encouragement to other people, we need to look to those people who build us up and give us what we need to be encouraged. Friends, we can only give out of our abundance. A pastor told me recently that we all minister out of our hearts; that we give from where we are. If someone is empty of purpose and tired of fighting wars, that person cannot inspire hope and encouragement in another person. It is their time to look to be inspired and encouraged.
I think that is what Paul was speaking of in verse 12. He says “I long to see you so that…you and I may be mutually encouraged by each other’s faith.”
William Barclay, theologian and author, teaches us that Paul was as willing to receive as he was to give. He notes that “Paul was the greatest thinker the Early Church ever produced, and yet, when he thought of people to whom he longed to preach, he thought of himself not only as giving to them but also as receiving from them. It takes humility to teach as it takes humility to learn.”
If we will be encouragers; if we are to enter into the experiences of another, we must humble ourselves and admit that we need to receive encouragement from what other people can give us. We must face the truth (if it is true) that at best most times we may be sympathetic or may even be completely apathetic to some that we tolerate.
WRAP
• Encouragement is not an optional exercise – a Biblical command
• Begins with appreciating the good in another person and desiring to build on that knowledge
• Your experiences are a gift from God that allow you to encourage another who walks the road you walked – to empathize with their experiences.
• We all need encouragement which calls us to humility, not pride, if we are to receive that gift from another
• Let your imagination run wild for a moment and experience what the atmosphere would be like in any fellowship where the people are all real, all vulnerable, all non-judgmental and non-critical of everyone else. THAT is the gift God is waiting to give all of us when we are ready to receive it!
