“I Will Be A Forgiving Person”
Introduction:
Have any of you ever been wronged or hurt by someone? If you have you know first hand how easy it could be to stay angry and to grow bitter to a person. God definitely understands what it is like to be hurt and wronged. We through our sins we commit on a daily basis hurt and wrong God.
I believe that the sin that may keep more people out of Heaven than any other is the sin of unforgiveness. I believe that there are many Christians who for some reason refuse to let go of grudges that they may have against another person. Throughout the course of your life you can expect to be wronged from time to time by others. You may even feel strongly that what another did was wrong. We though cannot hold onto that anger and bitterness, but we must forgive. Whenever we sin and mess up and then come to God in sincere repentance we expect God to forgive us, don’t we? It is often different for us though when we are wronged. We often have a hard time letting go and forgiving. The easy thing to do is to stay angry, it takes much more effort and much more trouble to forgive and let go of something. I would assume that this morning many of us are holding onto some anger and bitterness towards someone that we should let go of. It is inevitable that all of us we be wronged at some point in time in our lives, that we do not really have a choice in. We do, however, have a choice in how we will react when we are wronged. We can either choose bitterness or forgiveness.
There are many misconceptions about what Biblical forgiveness really is. Many people’s ideas of forgiveness have been shaped by the world and not by the Word; therefore there is a grave danger that many Christians are unfairly holding onto anger that they should have let go of.
1. I will forgive, but not forget
This is the worst misconception that I hear people say more than any other. Many people say they will forgive, but they make sure that people know that they will not ever forget! We are told to forgive, as we want to be forgiven, and the Scriptures tell us that not only does God remove our sins, but also he forgets them and he remembers them no longer. How would we like God to tell us upon our repentance that he will forgive, but not forget? I understand that we are human and we cannot help but to remember certain things and it is not easy to put events out of our minds, but we must do our best to treat people we say we forgive as if the wrong never happened, for that is exactly what God does with us. For goodness sakes, when you forgive somebody forgive them. After you tell someone you forgive them and you do not let go of you anger and bitterness you are the one sinning now even if they were initially wrong. Many people forgive, but they never forget or let the offender forget what they had done, that is not Biblical forgiveness. Biblical forgiveness keeps no record of wrongs and does not hold a person’s sins over their head.
2. I have A right to be mad
Many people think that they have the right to be mad and to stay mad. I have especially heard this when someone really feels they have been greatly wronged. There may be no doubt that what someone did may have hurt and been wrong, but to believe that you have the right to be and stay mad is a lie from the Devil. If we are to forgive, as we want to be forgiven we do not have the right to remain mad no matter what someone has done to you. I am not suggesting that it is always easy to let go and forgive people that have really caused you pain, but the Scriptures make one thing clear and that is no matter what we do not have the right to stay mad and hold a grudge.
3. Things will never be the same
I have heard other people say I will forgive, but things will never be the same. There is one problem with that, the purpose of forgiveness is not just overlooking someone’s faults, but it is restoring a relationship back to the way it was before the wrong took place, it is reconciliation. This is exactly what God does with us, not only does he forgive us of our sins, but he restores our relationship to the way it was intended to be. As a matter of fact, after we wronged God and after we received His forgiveness we are placed in a better relationship than before. I am not saying that naturally some trust may have been lost, but if we are going to forgive than we need to forgive. We cannot hold their wrongs over the heads and use their mistakes against them. If a person comes to you and asks you forgiveness for what they have done, we have a duty to attempt to restore that relationship that may have been damaged.
Text: Matthew 18:21-35
This parable that Jesus told began with a question by Peter. He asked, “How many times should I forgive a person who sins against me? Up to seven times? We may think the question was a little funny, but the thing is Peter thought he was being generous with the possibility of forgiving up to seven times. The rabbis during this time taught that you would forgive up to three times, so Peter’s suggestion of seven times was very generous for that society. Jesus though had something to say about that. He was not trying to give a limit of how many times you forgive, but was saying that you always need to forgive.
I. The Necessity of Forgiveness
There is an absolute necessity to forgive one another.
A. Because We Have Been Forgiven
The parable that Jesus told was rich in it’s teaching. One servant Jesus told of was brought before the king. This servant owed 10,000 talents. If this is referring to the Greek talent, the total would be somewhere in the neighborhood of seven to eight million dollars that the servant owed. That same servant pleased to be given a chance to pay back the debt, and the master forgave him of his great debt. That servant then went out and saw one who owed him about 100 denarii, which was a total of less than twenty dollars. He had the man put into prison for the small debt that he owed. Then when the king learned of this he was not happy because he expected that the servant should be willing to show mercy to someone else since he was shown mercy. The same should be said of us, shouldn’t it? What right do we have to hold onto anger and to hold a grudge since we have been forgiven we too should forgive others who wrong us.
B. Because We Have Been Commanded
It is certain that at some point someone will hurt you or wrong you. I know it may almost silly, but we really do not have a choice in the matter, we are commanded to forgive and therefore there is an absolute necessity to forgive.
Colossians 3:12-13
As I have said before it is inevitable that we will be wronged at some point in time, but we do have a choice in how we will respond. The same is true with much of our attitude. There are many circumstances, which we cannot help, or control, but we can choose our response and our attitude. How will you respond when someone wrongs you? There are several different options, which many people choose. Some people choose to retaliate, these people feel that since they have been wronged they should react and repay the person for their wrongs. They forget the common saying that two wrongs do not make a right. They forget the call from the Word of God to not repay evil for evil, but to repay evil with good. They forget that vengeance is the Lord’s. Obviously, this is not the right action and leads only to an escalation of a problem and begins a vicious cycle of wrongs that is not easy to stop. Some people, however, choose to harbor malice, hatred and anger in their hearts towards someone that has wronged them. Though they may not have retaliated this response to a wrong may be more spiritually dangerous than any other. The longer you harbor bad feelings in your heart the harder it is to remove them from your heart and the more hardhearted a person becomes. Other people respond by ignoring a wrong. Though this may not create the hardness of heart and the bitter feelings, I do not believe that God expects us to be doormats or to simply ignore it when someone wrongs us or sins against us. Before this whole discussion began in Matthew 18 that we have read Jesus gave his disciples some simple instructions for how to handle a problem of someone wronging them.
Matthew 18:15-17
Did you notice the detailed instructions? Jesus did not say ignore it; he called them to confront it and deal with the problem. An ignored problem only hides itself temporarily as is sure to resurface. He instructed them to go straight to the source of the problem and deal with it so that reconciliation could take place. Therefore, how will you respond when you are wronged? There is a necessity on our part to forgive those who wrong us.
II. The Example of Forgiveness
It almost goes without saying that Jesus is the best example of forgiveness. He not only preached it, but he also lived a life of forgiveness. Some of his last words before his death were for the Father to forgive those who were crucifying him. In all things Christ is our perfect example.
III. The Danger of Un-Forgiveness
There are many dangers with not forgiving a person.
a. Not Being Forgiven
The first and most obvious danger of un-forgiveness is that if you do not forgive people who sin against us is that we ourselves will not be forgiven. The parable that Jesus taught explained it well. It taught that since we have been relieved of such a great debt than we should be willing to forgive. We owed a debt that we could not pay and Jesus paid a debt that he did not owe. When you read of this parable you think, how ridiculous that this man who had just had a debt removed would refuse to do the same on a lesser level with someone else. This is exactly what we do when we refuse to forgive and hold onto bitterness and a grudge. We sometimes fail to realize how greatly we wronged God and what we deserve. The forgiveness that is shown to us is so great, however, if we do not forgive we will not be forgiven.
Matthew 6:12-15
I do not believe any wrong that a person can do to me is as great as the wrong I have done to God, and I do not believe any wrong is worth staying angry at with the consequence of not being forgiven myself.
b. Carrying An Unnecessary Burden
I believe that many people are carrying around burdens upon themselves that they do not need to carry. People are bearing spiritual and emotional burdens that Jesus offers to relieve. People also are carrying around the burden of anger and bitterness that they simple should let go of. I can tell you from experience and many can validate that bitterness is a burden. When you are angry or bitter at someone you are carrying around an awful burden that is going to hurt you in every way. We are called to run the race with perseverance, but it is hard to run a race held down by a great burden. We are called to carry our cross daily, but it is hard to carry a cross when we are bogged down with bitterness and make ourselves carry that. Sadly many people put down their cross in order to carry anger and bitterness. It takes more effort to stay mad than it does to forgive. It is amazing how much time and energy one can spend nursing bitterness towards someone, and the longer we hold onto it the stronger it gets and the harder it becomes to forgive. Many people are carrying an unnecessary burden around in the sin of un-forgiveness.
c. Giving the Devil a Foothold
Ephesians 4:26-27
If you noticed, the call not give the Devil a foothold is in the context of not allowing the sun to go down on your anger. In other words un-forgiveness is giving the Devil a foothold in your life for other things. As a person harbors bitterness and anger in the hearts their hearts begin to become hard. I do not know if anything can make a person’s heart harder than seething in anger and holding onto bitterness.
Hebrews 12:15
d. A Hindered Relationship
Un-forgiveness can hinder you relationships with other people. We learn in Scripture that not only is God concerned with our relationship with him he wants and expects us to be in a good relationship with others.
Matthew 5:23-25
God makes sure to reveal that removing bitterness and reconciling with someone is the priority.
