Love is a word that we throw around all over the place nowadays. In any given day you hear love used in a number of different contexts and in connection with a number of different things. In the morning before you head out the door for school one of your family members might shout out, “I love you,” just as you leave. As you get to school you might tell your boyfriend or girlfriend that you love them. Still even later, you might mention to a group of your friends that you love them.
After school, you head over to Dunkin Donuts and get a coffee, of which you exclaim that, “you love Dunkin Donuts’ coffee.” After that, you head to a friends house where you decide to play some Halo – “I love Halo,” you express. Or maybe, you decide to head to the mall and go to Hollister which is the store “you love the most” out of all the stores you could go to.
On top of all of that, when it comes to jumping into a relationship with Christ, we are told over and over again to love one another. In fact, when Jesus is asked by a group of religious leaders what the greatest commandment is, Jesus responds by saying it is to love God with all our heart, soul, and mind and then to love our neighbor.
That is a lot of contexts and usages of the word love that is thrown around throughout any given day. Every time we use or hear the word “love,” it can’t mean the same thing every time. I mean, you can’t love a hamburger and your family in the same way. Although, I suppose you could, but I can’t imagine your family would feel much love. So, what exactly is love? Let’s take a couple of minutes to share our thoughts about this thing called love.
***Let people share their thoughts on what love is***
This morning, I looked up the word love on dictionary.com and I found that there were 28 different definitions for the word love. So, I think it is safe to say that it is a hard word to define. What surprised me though were the first three definitions of love that were listed. They were:
1. a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.
2. a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection.
3. sexual passion or desire.
For the most part, I don’t think many people would think twice about these definitions of love but personally, I think they are horrible definitions and don’t even come close to describing what love actually is. The first definition sounds very shallow to me, to leave love as being affection for someone. It is easy to care about someone of have affection for them else but I think it is a whole other issue to love someone. It goes so much deeper.
The second definition hits upon a giant pet peeve that I have. That is, to define love as a feeling. In the movies and on TV today love is so often described as this ooey-gooey feeling that gives you butterflies in your stomach and sends a chill up your spine. Guys, if you don’t hear another thing that I say tonight, please hear this - love is not a feeling. So many couples break up or get divorced simply based on the fact that the little feeling they once had is gone. That is not love – it is adrenaline and hormones, and maybe some indigestion, but it is not love. Love is not a feeling in the least little bit.
The third one is probably self explanatory. All of us in this room have some form of sexual desire because that is the way God has created our bodies. Whether it is a small glimmer as you are in the beginnings of puberty or whether it is raging within, just because you have those feelings doesn’t for a second mean that you love someone.
Love is also not guaranteed to be received in sex. I would argue, and the Bible would back me on this, that unless you are married, sex is no where near real love but instead selfishness or confused love. With the amount of consequences to sex outside of marriage – pregnancy, STD’s, and the emotional damage – to have sex outside of marriage is not loving the person you may be with but in fact the opposite.
So, what is real, authentic, deep love that we all crave to have in our lives? Let’s look at this passage from 1 John 3:16-19 which bluntly proclaims real love and what it looks like in our lives from God and how it should look as we love one another.
***Read 1 John 3:16-19***
What does this passage claim is real love? It is not a feeling, affection, sexual desire, or anything else even close. In fact, according to this passage, love is not a thing at all but instead it is an action. There is an old song by a group called DC Talk that came out when I was your guy’s age called “Luv is a Verb,” that explains that idea throughout the song.
In fact, any thing that falls short of putting love into action is not love. Look at verse 17. “If someone has enough money to live well and sees a brother or sister in need but shows no compassion - how can God’s love be in that person?” Love does not exist in the absence of what our actions show. Let me say that again because it’s kind of a heavy sentence - love does not exist in the absence of what our actions show. Let me unpack that a little. What I mean by that and what John goes on to say in verses 18-19, is that our actions are louder than our words. Don’t just say you love each other. Prove it, show it, display it, work at it, that might sound weird but its true; love takes a lot of work and effort. It is only then that we can stand before God in confidence that we have obeyed His command for us to love one another.
Then, again, as we talked about last week as we looked at what real faith is, God is the best example for what real love is. Verse 16 bluntly claims that we can know what real love is because Jesus gave up his life for us. Sacrifice, commitment, considering others better than your self, living selflessly – that defines real, authentic love. As we talk about it often, because of how important it is, God sent his one and only Son to earth to become a man and die on the cross in our place. He gave up His life, even though He didn’t have to, because he loved the entire world so much – and that includes all of us in this room. What Jesus did for us, would be the equivalent of someone standing in front of an oncoming MAC Truck and then someone jumping and pushing them out of the way but then getting hit themselves. That is love and care for someone else!
Just as Jesus gave up His life for us, verse 16 goes on to say that we also ought to give up our lives for our brothers and sisters. This is life’s secrete to making friendships work, to making a dating relationship work, and to make a marriage work. It’s not about a feeling or anything else. It is about commitment, work, and your actions. There will be many, many times where you don’t feel love – with that kid at school that is a pain in the butt, with the parent or sibling that is difficult, and even later on in marriage, but real love is acting despite what your feelings may be.
Let me give you guys a few examples of real, love. Last night, my wife, even though she doesn’t really like football let we watch the Pat’s game, as depressing as it was. She gave up her desires for the night because she knew I really wanted to watch the game. That’s real selfless love. Real love is being nice to your brother or sister even though they have been mean to you – it’s considering others better than yourself. Sometimes, real love means walking away from or sacrificing a friendship or a girlfriend/boyfriend because it has become an unhealthy situation or too stressful and they need help. Real love is acting kind to a bully at school when the last thing you want to do is love them because of what they have done to you.
I would like to close with a few things during music that will help us understand God’s love for us through Jesus and challenge us to love the people around us in the same way. First off, I have a video clip that I am going to play that I know many of you have seen before. It features a song by P.O.D. called Truly Amazing and has images of The Passion of the Christ in it. If you are uncomfortable with graphic images or blood you don’t have to watch but those of you who do, know that the images on the screen is a display of amazing love for you as Jesus takes the punishment that you deserved.
During that video clip and during the songs to follow, we have a station set up in the front offering communion to those of us here tonight who have a relationship with Christ. Communion is something that the church has been doing for the last 2,000 years to remember Christ’s love for us by His death on the cross. Listen to how Paul describes the act in 1 Corinthians 11:23-26.
***Read 1 Corinthians 11:23-26***
Lastly, as you have noticed, the cross up front has nails in it that are for you to take. Pull one out of the cross and put in your Bible, pocket, on your dresser, or where ever you want. Take it as a reminder that Jesus shed his blood for you because he loved you and that you should love the people around you with the same passion, sacrifice and commitment.
