Showing Hospitality
3 John 1-14
This book is very short. It is the shortest book in the Bible. In 14 verses John tells us things that no one else really expounds in the entire Bible. He talks about Christian hospitality. He talks about a man who opens his home lovingly, readily and willingly to see the work of the kingdom of God go forward.
The elder,
To my dear friend Gaius, whom I love in the truth.
Dear friend, I pray that you may enjoy good health and that all may go well with you, even as your soul is getting along well. It gave me great joy to have some brothers come and tell about your faithfulness to the truth and how you continue to walk in the truth. I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth.
Dear friend, you are faithful in what you are doing for the brothers, even though they are strangers to you. They have told the church about your love. You will do well to send them on their way in a manner worthy of God. It was for the sake of the Name that they went out, receiving no help from the pagans. We ought therefore to show hospitality to such men so that we may work together for the truth.
I wrote to the church, but Diotrephes, who loves to be first, will have nothing to do with us. So if I come, I will call attention to what he is doing, gossiping maliciously about us. Not satisfied with that, he refuses to welcome the brothers. He also stops those who want to do so and puts them out of the church.
Dear friend, do not imitate what is evil but what is good. Anyone who does what is good is from God. Anyone who does what is evil has not seen God. Demetrius is well spoken of by everyone and even by the truth itself. We also speak well of him, and you know that our testimony is true.
I have much to write you, but I do not want to do so with pen and ink. I hope to see you soon, and we will talk face to face.
Peace to you. The friends here send their greetings. Greet the friends there by name. (NIV)
Try to imagine John’s problem. He lives in Ephesus and still travels a little to keep up his circuit of churches, probably the same churches identified in Revelation 2 and 3. In this way John is acting very much in the capacity of our bishop.
However. John is the last living Apostle. He is elderly. Perhaps in his late 80s or even in his 90s. His health is probably in a quite precarious position. Tradition tells us that John was carried to gatherings in his older years. Thus when we come to this short book he introduces himself simply as ’the Elder.’ Not only is he leading a small collection of churches, he is also a priceless and irreplaceable resource for the church at large.
In the tradition of Paul, Timothy and Titus many younger men have begun traveling from Church to Church to deliver messages and gifts, to act as emissaries for the Apostle and to help in evangelism and discipleship. With the hostility that has grown toward the church over the last number of decades, hospitality to these traveling ministers has become vitally important. They made their livelihood only through the generosity of those they visited.
One of the jobs of these visiting ministers was to teach. They brought the doctrine of the Apostles, in this case John, to remote churches and brought doctrinal questions back to the Elder. As the first century came to a close and the church became larger and wider spread, and the direct influence of the Apostles thinned out, heresy began rearing its head in the church. It would have been all John and his traveling messengers could do to keep up.
Now into this mix throw a bad church leader, possibly a pastor; he doesn’t like the visiting ministers nor will he support them. He exercises church discipline on any who does. He even seems to have something against John himself. He is an unfriendly, malicious gossip.
It looks as if an interplay between two congregations is happening here. Gaius is the pastor of one congregation and Diotrephes is the pastor of another. The traveling ministers have come to the city and Gaius received them while Diotrephes did not. John is commending Gaius for his hospitality, and encouraging him to receive this newest traveling minister, Demetrius. It appears that he was sent to Diotrephes’ church first and was turned away with rumors following in his wake. John wants to make sure that Gaius does not believe the rumors and accepts the ministry of Demetrius on the Apostle’s recommendation. Demetrius is probably delivering this letter himself.
The problems in this first century church in Asia Minor have applications beyond their immediate situation. Gossip, tyrannical control, unkindness, intolerance, rebellion, all of these same sins are rampant today. In this case though they were introduced into a situation of hospitality.
This letter of encouragement shows a cycle of righteous behavior. Allow me to illustrate.
I was talking to a woman one time who said that she met a friend that knew me. Our mutual friend said:
’Tim Darling, I know him, he really loves his wife.’
I have no idea who this person was, but what they said is definitely true. I love Dawn, a great deal. At some time I demonstrated to Dawn (under what circumstances I don’t know) that I loved her, and indicated that fact to somebody besides Dawn. This person saw that demonstration and communicated it to somebody else. Then word got back to me and this lady who was telling me all this said, ’that is a great reputation to have.’
I like it.
It makes me feel good to know that other people can tell that I love my wife. I like knowing that my behavior toward Dawn communicates affection and obedience to the Bible that says, ’Husbands love your wives.’ It was a strange and good feeling to have a very positive rumor about me come full circle.
That’s what is happening to Gaius at this point. He has taken in some traveling ministers, probably not thinking anything of it. And now it comes back to him that he is being a blessing. Thus we see the cycle.
- Gaius blesses the ministers
- The ministers bless John
- John blesses Gaius
The circle is complete. By being a blessing to other people, we have no idea how far that blessing will travel.
Young people you should know that about your behavior when your parents are not around. It blesses them when word gets back to them that you do as you are supposed to do. It gives them faith in you that you will show good character in unguarded moments and it encourages them that they are doing a good job at being parents. There is more to being obedient than placating your parents.
Besides this blessing coming full circle, Gaius’ love for these traveling brothers has given John an indication of his friend’s spiritual health.
Did you know that what you do tells people how healthy you are spiritually? How would you like it if John’s prayer here was answered in your life? Look at verse 2.
Dear friend, I pray that you may enjoy good health and that all may go well with you, even as your soul is getting along well. 3 John 1:2 (NIV)
In effect John is saying, I pray that you will be as healthy physically as you are spiritually. When John considered Gaius’ spiritual health, he decided it would be a good thing if Gaius’ physical health could be that good. How would you like for your physical health to reflect your spiritual health? How well would any of us be?
But the thing that so clearly indicated Gaius’ spiritual health was his hospitality.
Christian Hospitality is a willingness to open your home in the name of Christ for the work of the Kingdom.
That work can take several forms.
- Hosting unbelievers to lead them to Christ
- Hosting believers to encourage them in their walk
- Helping a person in need with a very physical expression of concern.
In Gaius’ case it was hosting visiting ministers to provide for their needs.
Gaius’ hospitality showed the picture of his spiritual health. John paints a portrait of Christian hospitality. It is a complex painting, rendered in lights and darks, some behavior to copy and some to avoid. Gaius is the good example and Diotrephes is the bad example.
Let’s look at the light tones:
Christian hospitality is appropriate regardless of how well we know the visitor
John tells Gaius that his hospitality is especially blessed because the people he hosts are strangers. It would have been easy to assume that because of all the heresy flying around, you should only help people you know.
According to the picture that John is painting we are to be hospitable to any godly brothers and sisters who come our way. If we have a visiting speaker, it should not matter that we don’t know them. If we have a singing group, it should not matter that they are not our own relatives. If they are giving of themselves to bring their ministry to us. We should be giving of ourselves to see them refreshed.
We should send them out well
Many ministers travel and do their work on faith. Their faith is not just that they will be able to perform their ministry while they are away, but that their needs and the needs of their families will be met too. Part of Christian hospitality is being like Gaius and sending ’them on their way in a manner worthy of God.’
Here is the question we have to ask ourselves. If this person was staying in God’s home - what would God do to send them on their way? The reason we have to ask ourselves this question is because, if we have surrendered everything to His sovereignty, they are staying in God’s home. If we are committed to seeing the work of the Kingdom go forward and have submitted ourselves to God - we are God’s vehicle to send them on their way.
- Our goal should be to pay people for the work they do so that they can make a living
- To see to it that they do not leave us with any need that we can meet unmet
- To send people out in good spirits and with a blessing on their head so that they can minister to the next place with a light heart
I once found myself in a strange position. A traveling minister told me they were doing their ministry on faith and they had no set fees at all. I found myself advising them to set a small fee. They said, God will provide.
And I believe He will, but unfortunately not all of God’s people are willing to be a vehicle for that provision. Especially for those who minister in music, this is unfortunate. Many believers pay between $25 and $70 for a secular concert ticket, but when they go hear an artist, ministering by faith, they drop $1 into the plate.
If a minister chooses to set a small fee, I don’t think less of the ministers’ faith. I think less of what we can reasonably expect of Christian hosts’ generosity and faith.
We should do our part as co-workers in their ministry
Perhaps you have heard the story:
A man is walking along the site where a stone building is going up. He sees three men working there and each of them he asks, what are you doing?
- The first guy says: I am laying stone
- The second guy says: I am building a wall
- The third guy says: I am building a great cathedral
Something must be said for perspective. When we can get past the details of our hospitality we can see that we are actually taking part in another person’s ministry.
- The fruit they bear is our fruit too.
- The people saved are our converts.
- The hearts blessed are blessed by us.
In this way our hospitality extends beyond
- serving a meal and providing a bed.
- packing a sandwich and writing a check for the person’s wages.
- making our house perfectly spic and span before we allow anybody inside.
We begin looking for ways to help.
- That person’s rest is our responsibility
- The quiet that person needs to prepare is our contribution
- The use of our phone is a witness beyond our ability
- Lending our car becomes the work of God
Three things Christian Hospitality is not
1 - having people over for dinner or overnight
I want to be clear. The kind of hospitality we are talking about here is not just having people over for dinner or overnight. It is a lot of fun. That is a fine grace and a kindness to be practiced, but it is just simple hospitality.
I am talking specifically about Christian Hospitality. This takes that very normal and natural grace and extends it into the work of the Kingdom. It is Hospitality that is shown to people specifically to see the work of the gospel go forward. In Gaius’ case it was extended to traveling ministers. It could be applied in many ways today.
- to visiting missionaries
- to visiting singers, preachers or seminar speakers who have a need for a place to stay
- to other believers with whom you minister - as a means of encouraging them
- to people God has given you in order to speak into their lives
2 - providing meals to hungry unbelievers
This is different from providing meals to hungry unbelievers, that is mercy and that is good, it is related, but it is not the same thing as Christian Hospitality, although Christian Hospitality can play a part.
A merciful person is extending his compassion / a hospitable person is extending his work as a gift to God.
A merciful person is meeting needs regardless of the outcome because Jesus had compassion on the hungry / the hospitable person is extending his service with a very definite end in sight.
The merciful person would feed the hungry whether or not they are responding to the gospel / The hospitable person extends his service specifically to see the kingdom go forward.
I’m not saying one is bad and the other is good. I’m just saying they are slightly different.
3 - It is not entertaining
I’m not talking about having parties or having people over for a friendly visit. These things are good and they strengthen the bonds of friendship and community between us. But Christian hospitality is more concerned with seeing a person’s needs met than with seeing that they enjoy themselves. It is more interested in seeing a person refreshed than impressed.
In Christian hospitality our homes are a place for God to refuel his servants or to draw people closer to Him. / In entertaining our homes are a place for an event.
It is the difference between sharing your time and your resources with someone and sharing a piece of your life with them.
Many of you are gifted with Hospitality. I, want to encourage you in your gift. Like John speaking to Gaius, I just want to thank you for all the work that goes into doing what you do. Hospitality is a grace we all need to practice, but one that some will practice more, and more comfortably than others.
That’s ok! Those who feel very good about it, do it and do it often. You have a special gift.
Here are a few pointers
- Have the guest in mind when you do your thing
Don’t be so concerned with the fancy food and lights and white carpet. All these things may be part of hospitality and should be considered, but they cannot be the focus. We do not rattle on about our own concerns and never find out what is on the heart of our guest. Meeting the needs of the guest is first.
- Don’t worry about every detail of your home’s condition.
It is only polite to have your house clean, so your guest is not embarrassed for you and doesn’t know what to do with himself. But the details are not as important as the welcome. A person has to feel like you really want them to be there or they will feel like they are imposing.
- Offer kindness, don’t wait to be asked
We must remember that people accepting gifts often feel self conscious. They don’t like to talk about their needs and they don’t want to come across as beggars. They don’t know what level of giving you are capable of and don’t want to overstep the boundaries of being a good guest.
- Give the best you can
It is a strong custom in other nations that a person offer the very best he can afford to a guest. In many cultures it is an unforgivable affront to leave food or drink unfinished. I have known people to stretch themselves beyond what they would eat themselves or even what they could afford to make a guest feel honored. In the US that is less likely to be an issue. Whether we like it or not we are a wealthy people. Our standard of what we give our guests can practically be lower, because our lowest is so high. Our attitudes about the people we serve needs to come in line with Paul’s exhortation:
Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Philippians 2:3
When was the last time
- that we considered another person better than ourselves,
- that we put that person’s needs ahead of our own,
- that we truly thought another person was more worthy of what we have than we are ourselves.
We have been trained well by a selfish and proud world. Having been welcomed into the family by the most Worthy of all - Should we not welcome others in His name?
