Prayer That Impresses God Series

For years, Mike Atkinson has published a daily email humor list, which I enjoy reading. He calls it “Mikey’s Funnies,” and several years ago, he wrote:

If you can start the day without caffeine; if you can get going without pep pills; if you can always be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains; if you can resist complaining and boring people with your troubles; if you can eat the same food every day and be grateful for it; if you can understand when your loved ones are too busy to give you any time; if you can overlook it when those you love take it out on you when through no fault of yours something goes wrong; if you can take criticism and blame without resentment; if you can ignore a friend's limited education and never correct him; if you can resist treating a rich friend better than a poor friend; if you can face the world without lies and deceit; if you can conquer tension without medical help; if you can relax without liquor; if you can sleep without the aid of drugs; if you can say honestly that deep in your heart you have no prejudice against creed, color, religion, or politics; then, my friend, you are almost as good as your dog (Mike Atkinson, Mikey's Funnies, 6-26-02, www.mikeysfunnies.com).

It’s a little disconcerting to realize that your dog has more virtue than you.

So how can you ever hope to get right with a holy God? How can you ever hope to impress Him enough to hear your prayers and give you what you need? Well, if you have your Bibles, I invite you to turn with me to Luke 18, Luke 18, where Jesus talks about effective praying. First, Jesus talked about persistence in prayer (vs.1-8). Now, He talks about your posture in prayer.

Luke 18:9-12 He also told this parable to some who trusted in themselves that they were righteous, and treated others with contempt: “Two men went up into the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. The Pharisee, standing by himself, prayed thus: ‘God, I thank you that I am not like other men, extortioners, unjust, adulterers, or even like this tax collector. I fast twice a week; I give tithes of all that I get’ (ESV).

This Pharisee basically told God, “You’re lucky to have me on your team.” And indeed, Jesus’ original audience would have thought the same thing about the Pharisee.

The common people viewed the Pharisee as the epitome of righteousness and virtue, because he was a strict adherent to God’s Law. In fact, he went beyond God’s law in his obedience to it. He fasted twice a week when the law only required a once a year fast on the Day of Atonement. And he tithed everything down to the smallest herbs he grew in his garden (Luke 11:42).

On commentator said, “God needs to do nothing for him. He makes no request of God; he offers no honor to God. This religious man has done it all. After reading his prayer, we wonder whether God should apply to be his assistant!” (D. L. Bock, Luke, InterVarsity Press, 1994).

This man didn’t trust in God. He didn’t need God in his mind, no! He trusted only in himself. He believed he was righteous, that he was good enough without God’s help.

Just a few years ago (2022), Newsweek magazine published Beatrice Fediuk’s obituary, which she had written a resumé for heaven. When she finally passed at age 94, the Winnipeg Free Press originally printed the resumé in its entirety, which was picked up by Newsweek.

It starts: “Dear Lord, please accept my application for Eternal Life. My resumé is as follows.” She divided her obituary into sections—like a real resumé—objectives, references, training, experience, volunteer work, and hobbies.

Beatrice gave a summary of her life history, saying she was born on October 22, 1927, to “loving parents Eugenie and Alfred. ... I have left my daughter Michelle, her husband Perry, my granddaughter Kali, and many nieces and nephews on earth, as there are no openings for them in Heaven just yet.”

She shared her memories, saying: “Lord, you know that (as a teacher) I never had any 'teacher's pets.’ Rather, I put my heart into teaching those with learning challenges, or difficult family situations. It was here that I feel I did my best work… I also continued volunteer work, knitting scarves for underprivileged children.”

Summing up her resume, she added: “Lord, I hope that you will find that I have met my Objectives and deserve a place in Your heavenly home. You know where to find me to further discuss my qualifications” (Rebecca Flood, "Woman Submits References to God for a Place in Heaven in CV-style Obituary," Newsweek, 2-21-22; www.PreachingToday.com).