Parenting: Training Up A Child In The Things Of God. Series

OPENING

SENTENCE: Let me read to you a mothers account of a typical day in her household.

INTRODUCTION: Like last night. I had repeatedly asked Addy to go pee before bed, and repeatedly asked Peyton to stop throwing Addy’s pillows. When neither of them listened to me, Peter yelled from the shower, “If you don’t do what Mommy says in three seconds, you can both sleep in the basement tonight.” Five minutes later, Peyton was tantruming (it’s a verb in our house) and kicking Peter as he was trying to put on her pull-up, and he said, “Quit that Peyton, or I’ll give your bedroom away and you’ll sleep in the bathtub from now on.”

If there’s one thing I can’t stand, it’s when Peter tosses idle threats at the kids. It drives me completely nuts (it’s just so mean, and never helps the situation), and the kids don’t buy it at all — like we’d ever let them sleep in our unfinished basement or in the bathtub. I end up getting mad at Peter, he gets mad at me for not backing up his shenanigans, and we end up ticked, which is when, I admit, I end up swearing.

If there’s one thing Peter can’t stand, it’s when I curse around the four little ears in our house.

So we, inevitably, fight over that. I think yelling idle threats at the kids is terrible parenting, and way worse than my sometimes-trucker mouth. He thinks swearing in front of the kids is terrible parenting, and way worse than his ridiculous threats. I get upset when he refuses to let the kids watch their show and puts on golf (see! golf!) instead. He gets upset when Peyton’s tantruming and I give in. I get mad when he tunes everything out (usually while watching… golf) and ignores/doesn’t intervene when the kids are fighting right in front of him. He gets mad when I don’t have a whole lot of patience when the kids do things that kids do (like make a mess right after I’ve tidied up). And so on.

TRANSITION

SENTENCE: Welcome to the world of parenting, in fact, it is one of the three major sources of marital conflict in an anachronism known as PMS: Parenting, Money, and Sex.

TRANSITION: There are three main areas of conflict regarding parenting: sleep (bedtimes), food (what they eat) and discipline (how kids are to be disciplined).

One of the reasons for parenting conflict is that each partner brings a parenting style into the family that often conflicts with the other. It is not just that men and women bring different outlooks on parenting but they may also have a different style. The four main parenting styles: Authoritative, Authoritarian, Permissive, Uninvolved. (See graph and Image on back of bulletin).

Explain.

SAY WHAT YOU ARE GOING TO SAY: I believe we all need to principles for parenting that we can agree upon and guide our interactions. To that end, this morning I want us to ask the question, “What does the Bible teach us about the role of a parent?” We will learn that the parents have a very important role because they are the primary instructors of their children and are to calmly but assertively train them in the things of God as their highest value and as a way of life.

TEXT: Ephesians 6:1-4, Deuteronomy 6:1-9

THEME: Parents must agree on the values and principles for childrearing.

What does the Bible teach us about the role of a parent?

I. The parents are the primary instructors of their children. (Proverbs 22:6)

“Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it.”

A. It is the parents God given duty and right. This is probably the most well-known verse in the Bible regarding parenting. While this verse alone does not prove that parents are the primary instructors of their children when put alongside other key verses the point becomes pretty clear. Every verse that speaks to the topic of parenting teach and assume that the parent bears the responsibility and the right of raising their children.

B. The values a parent teaches will be with a child for life. The verse can also be translated, “Train up a child in his own way” meaning the parenting style must fit the child. Some need firm rules some need more affirmation, some are sensitive and some are insensitive. The point is not every child is the same and how you instruct must fit the child.

Also, this is not a guarantee- it is a principle Many a good parent who has raised a child in the way he should go and the child later rejects it. Most kids who rebel will return back to what they were trained in but, there will be some who rebel and never return by no fault of the parent. The odds of the kids of picking up your values are very high- but there are exceptions.