Our Courtship Before Marriage Series

II. Our Behaviors in Courtship

a. The purpose of time

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 reminds us that "to everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under heaven...a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing...a time to love, and a time to hate" There is a special beauty when Gods timing is followed.

Courtship is a time to studiously evaluate the character of the one you are considering and to analyze if your personalities and life goals are compatible. The question you are after is whether or not it is God's will for you to move forward in a life-long covenant relationship with them. Christian-courtship.com

I want to give you some advice about the timing in courtship. How can you know if this is God's timing?

1. Parental consent - It may seem old fashioned to ask the guy who is showing interest in you to talk to your folks first, but it's worth the hassle and awkwardness. Why? Because the Bible promises that it will be. "Honour thy father and mother; (which is the first commandment with promise;) That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth. Ephesians 6:2-3

2. Compatibility of faith and life - The saying "opposites attract" might happen sometimes, but is that really a good thing? There are many who are mated but not matched! The Bible says not to be unequally yoked.

Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness? 2 Corinthians 6:14

3. Is it genuine love - The old saying, "Good things come to those who wait" still rings true. If something is worth having, it's worth waiting for. Jacob served Laban a total of 14 years so that he might take Rachel to be his wife.

As Bill Gothard says, "One of the most powerful evidences of genuine love is its ability to overcome the limitations of time."

4. Mature Character - "Character is not made in a crisis, it is only then displayed." In marriage, you'll have plenty of crisis' that will reveal your character and your spouse's character. The responsibility of work, maintaining a home, raising a family, being involved at church, relating to drama in extended family, making financial deadlines, etc will put pressure on you and your spouse. These pressures will either be something that will bond you together or tear you apart depending on your responses to them.

As Emmerson Eggerich demonstrates in his Love and Respect Marriage seminar, when a skunk is provoked, it will spray a very obnoxious stench. When a rose is stepped on, its fragrance fills the air. The pressure only revealed what was inside.

5. Financial Responsibility - If you want to know who a person really is, check out their financial history. Jesus says, "Where your treasure is, there will your heart be also." Matthew 6:21

The way you spend your money reveals what your heart is set on. Ask any married couple - rich, middle class or poor, and they'll tell you that money management plays an important role in their marriage. Did you know money is mentioned in the Bible over 800 times?