Mountain Of Despair Series

And in that realization Elijah understood that the victory he thought he had won for God wasn’t really a victory at all, at least in his estimation. Jezebel was still Baal’s cheer leader and since it was her zeal and her powers of persuasion that turned Israel into Baal worshippers in the first place, nothing really had changed. Three years of waiting for nothing. Standing alone, against a sea of ignorance and falsehood didn’t really matter. The people may have been shaken up, but it was only a matter of time before the mountaintop moment of Mount Carmel was a distant dream. "It didn’t really happen did it?" The people would say. Eventually it would be business as usual.

And then Elijah came face to face with the question everyone dreads: "What does it matter?" More specifically the question was, "What do I matter?" All that sacrifice did nothing. He had put on a good show--nothing more. His ministry was a charade. He couldn’t motivate people out of a wet paper bag. He was no better than his ancestors, the prophets who also failed to make an impact.

Ministry is a joke. Preaching the Word is a joke. Thinking that you can actually be used by God to make a difference is a joke. You might motivate them for 30 minutes on a Sunday but come Monday morning the spirit of Jezebel takes back whatever little bit of victory there may have been.

Here’s the thing: when Elijah says "take my life" he isn’t really asking God to take his life. What he’s saying is: "I thought serving God would be different. I thought I could really make a difference. I thought what I did was going to be important, but I was wrong. I am no better than any other prophet who failed." When you look at it closely, what Elijah is really saying is: "You failed me God! I trusted in you and things didn’t turn out the way I expected them to. I did everything I was supposed to. Why didn’t you take care of Ahab and Jezebel? Why didn’t you use this opportunity and bring revival? Why make all this fire on the mountain if it really wasn’t going to mean anything?" I understand Elijah very well, what about you?

Maybe you need to put this in a bit of a different context. Have you ever thought something like: "God, I’m doing my best to serve you, but now I don’t even know how I’m going to pay the bills! I thought I was following you and doing what you want, and this is how you repay me?"

Maybe, you’ve thought something along these lines: "God, I started that Sunday school ministry, and no one is showing up. And even when they do, no one is listening. I’m so discouraged, I just want to quit!"

Or possibly you’ve thought: "God, I am trying real hard to serve you and make a difference and I realize I shouldn’t be looking for praise or recognition, but the thing is, I don’t even know if anyone cares about what I am doing?"

Maybe you thought something along these lines: "I have claimed the promises of your Word and I have trusted in your power, but I am weak and miserable and alone. I was told that following you changes everything, but if that is true, why am I wrestling with the same things?"