Married, But Not Best Friends, Pt. 4 Series

Married, But Not Best Friends, Pt. 4

Song of Solomon 5:16

3 Key Words to unlocking the door of marital friendship:

• Companionship—time together.

• Conversation—talking together.

• Commitment—trying together.

For our friendship to continue and grow, there must be a mutual respect for each other. This is true for any friendship.

6 areas of commitment that will help build mutual respect:

1. Commitment to sacrifice

2. Commitment to closeness

3. Commitment to honesty

Now the last 3 areas…

4. Commitment to prayer

1 Peter 3:7

Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.

“Weaker” doesn’t mean inferior. Many of us married way above our heads. It generally means “more delicate.” [there are a few exceptions in pro wrestling today!] It doesn’t mean less valuable. A vas is more valuable than a vase, but also much more delicate. Same with silk as opposed to denim.

“prayers be not hindered” -- Peter here just assumes that husbands and wives are praying together. But sadly, in many homes that’s not the case. But praying together brings a spiritual bond…it takes your marriage to the next level.

We should pray together as well as separately…for our children and grandchildren. The temptation is great today for them, and they need our support!

Ill.—trying to raise kids today w/out prayer is like trying to cut down a tree w/ a chainsaw that’s not running!

Ill.—Missionary D.E. Host took the place in China of J. Hudson Taylor. He was working w/ 2 villages. He spent most of his time in one village where he preached and worked and counseled with them. The other he only made it to once in a great while. But it was thriving spiritually, and the other was not. He couldn’t figure it out. He asked God why…and the Lord revealed it to him that since he couldn’t be in both places he was simply praying mostly for the remote one, while working hard at this one. Basically, the one village was under his power and the other under God’s! Prayer is work and we must labor in it!

Prayer can do more in a moment than we can do in a lifetime. I’m not saying we shouldn’t work w/ our kids and spend time w/ them…but it’s all in vain if we’re not bathing it all in prayer.

Psalm 127:1

Except the Lord build the house, they labour in vain that build it: except the Lord keep the city, the watchman waketh but in vain.

We should also be praying about our finances and major purchases / decisions…not just running headlong into all our plans.

We have no right to make big decisions w/out consulting our spouse, and we should, together, ask the Lord about it all as well.

Commitment to prayer…

5. Commitment to a good spirit

Job 32:3

Also against his three friends was his wrath kindled, because they had found no answer, and yet had condemned Job.

They just knew he MUST have done something wrong. Some people reside in this camp…the “fault vault.” They play the blame game. These were Job’s “friends.” But a true friend doesn’t turn against you…they stick w/ you even when you ARE wrong. People will turn against us at times, but we should always have our best friend at home that’s always on our team / our side, and keeps a good positive spirit…working together, attacking the problems, not the person closest by to take aim at!

We’ve focused a lot on men in this series. Now it’s the ladies’ turn.

Ladies: in case you haven’t noticed, men have big egos!

Men thrive on their woman’s admiration. Women need attention, men need admiration. Women need love, men need respect. Women want leadership, and men want a following!

How do you show your man admiration? By the way you treat him. We’re not talking about bowing down and kissing his feet…that will go to his head and he won’t be a very “fungi” to be with!

But many women make their man feel inferior, and put him in a conveniently low place where she likes to keep him. A critical spirit makes him feel like he can’t do anything right…his courage and confidence wane as she makes him feel like a little boy. Some ladies think this will be motivational, and then are shocked when he finds someone else who makes him feel like a man / important.

Your husband needs your praise and admiration. He needs to know that when there’s no one else in the world rooting for him…that you are!

Ill.—youth activity / leader announces a game and the guys say it’s dumb / then they say the girls get into it and they rise to an all new level! It even happens in our adulthood. I can bench press more when my wife is watching…I start actually adding weights ONTO the bar!