Marriage

One of my favorite stories demonstrates the need for submission in marriage. A police officer was called to the scene of a big car wreck. It appears a family had been driving down the road, and there was a terrible crash. But the family was so shaken up, none of them could talk. The officer did notice though, that there was a little monkey by the side of the road, so he thought he’d try to communicate with it. He said, “Were you in the car?” and the monkey shook his head, “Mm-hm.” He said, “What was the dad doing when the wreck happened?” The monkey said “(act out drinking)” -- “Oh, drinking, huh!” --- “Mm-hm.”

“Well, how about the mom?” (Act out talking) - “Oh, talking!” “Mm-hm.”

“Well what about the boy and girl?” (act out fighting) - “Oh, fighting, huh?” “Mm-hm.”

“Well what were you doing?” (act out driving) - “Mm-hm-hm).

••The point of the story is this: God has designed for the husband to do the driving in the marriage, and when we plan for any other driver, or when the husband is under the influence of anyone other than the Holy Spirit, the marriage is in for a wreck! Submission does not mean a husband is wiser, or stronger, or more capable, or better looking, or any other area of superiority. It simply means that God’s design is that in the marriage the husband gets to drive. That’s God’s design. And if we want to have harmony in the home, we need to get in line with God’s design.

Some couples say, sounding so pious and spiritual, “In our home we both take turns leading. We love each other so much we wouldn’t want one of us to lead.” And the answer to that once again is “That is sinful, because that’s not God’s plan, that’s not God’s design, that’s not God’s will. It will lead your marriage to a wreck!”

So, the first point we learn about God’s design is this:

1. Wives are to arrange themselves under the leadership of their husbands.

But why? Yes, because

A. It is God’s design, but something more. . .

B. It is the wife’s way of honoring God. Verse 21 tells us it is reverence, respect, the fear of the Lord that leads us to a mutual submission. And in a marriage, a wife follows the lead of the husband because she wants to follow the Lord. Women, if you won’t arrange yourself under your husband, you will never follow Christ.

Does that mean that you need to do wrong if your husband is unsaved? No! Remember Acts 5:29 - “We must obey God rather than men!” Never allow yourself to follow a husband’s lead in sinning. But unless something is sinful or displeasing to God, seek to let your husband lead in the marriage.

Wives, you may know more about the Bible, and you may love Christ more - you may be more spiritual than your husband. But if you truly love Christ, you will get in line with his plan and let your husband lead in the marriage. So that brings us to the second part of God’s plan in the marriage.

2. Husbands are to lead their wives by loving them as they love themselves.

Why would God ever think to make a woman submit herself to the lead of her husband? Because God calls the husband to lead his wife by loving her as much as that husband loves himself. The truth is that most men love themselves pretty well. If we want something, we get it. In most marriages, women make lots of ridiculous purchases - buying little decorative baskets to put on the shelf, special decorative candles for the bathroom, lots of perfumes and spices. all kinds of extra expenses that can add up to hundreds of extra dollars out of the budget. The reality that it is only occasionally that most men spend, and normally only for practical items like a new SUV or new bass boat. Women make lots of little purchases, but men will go out and on a whim spend thousands upon thousands of dollars on impulse. Why? We love ourselves!