Making Marriage Work

Though the words that Ruth used are spoken in many weddings today, the commitment that they speak of is lost soon after the honeymoon. According to the research of George Barna, a pollster who examines many trends in the United States, the divorce rate among people who do not attend church is 34%. As scary as that is, what’s even scarier is that it’s not much within the church where the divorce rate is 33%. That means that one in three marriages of those who claim to be Christians will end in divorce. Young people who have grown up in homes of divorced people have gotten disillusioned with marriage and have decided to live together to try things out before marriage. In 1960, 10% of the people who got married lived together first. By 1998, half of the people who got married had lived together first. But even if you can successfully live together, that is not proof that you can survive marriage. As one person said, “Living together before marriage is nothing more than ‘playing house.’”

In the National Survey of Families & Households, researchers found that almost half of all couples who cohabit break up before marriage. Even if these couples do marry, the divorce rate skyrockets to 80%! And this study found that in these “living together” relationships that women are 62x more likely to be assaulted by their boyfriends than by a husband. Why? Because couples who cohabit are reversing God’s order, a relationship without the Godly principle of “to death do us part.”

Rick Warren is the author of The Purpose Driven Life. His wife Kay has cancer. He sends out a letter every week through his web site and this is what it said, “So many of you have asked about Kay’s progress in her treatment for cancer, so we wanted to give you an update. We are a little over halfway through her 12- week chemo-regimen. Yesterday she had a great day at the hospital until the chemo effects kicked in, and she quickly deteriorated into misery and major nausea. The rest of the day was very rough as nurses tried to ease her pain. Today, Kay feels wiped out from all the meds they’ve given her, along with the expected fatigue and nausea from the chemo. I’ve kept all visitors away, so the room is quiet for hours. The less going on, the better it is for her. Between caring for Kay’s basic needs, I sit quietly and think a lot and thank God for my wife, and God’s amazing invention of marriage. With all its ups and downs and “in sickness and health,” I’m certain that marriage is God’s primary tool to teach us unselfishness, sensitivity, sacrifice, and mature love. I want to thank you for your prayers for Kay. My wife is the love of my life, and this is what God intended families to do - to care for each other in need, even if it means cutting back your ministry for a season. I’d want every other husband in ministry to do the same if the situation arose in his family. God blesses us when we keep our commitments to each other."

Right now, you may be in the middle of an unhappy marriage. Your needs are not being met, there is no excitement, you fight all the time and that man or woman at work looks very tempting. The thought comes into your mind that you would be much happier if you could just get out of this relationship and into one where your needs would be met. Before you act on that thought, here’s something for you to consider.