"Make Your Home A Safe Haven"

Your Home A Safe Haven

Ephesians 5:22-33

Introduction

Several days ago I had a Dentist appointment for a regular check up and to see the hygienist. The hygienist is about 27 years old and planning to get married this coming summer. In our discussion we were talking about marriage (it’s not that easy carrying on a discussion when getting your teeth scrapped and cleaned) and he asked me: “What do you think is the most important thing in marriage?” I spontaneous replied: “Keep no secrets.” I told him that openness, honesty and integrity are keys to a successful marriage.

Someone has said that honesty is like a flu shot. It may give you a short pain, but it keeps you healthier during the following months.

Ephesians 5:22-33 gives a prescription for making your home a safe haven. The goal of our home is to have an atmosphere that acts like a magnet where our children and others are drawn there because it is a safe place – a safe haven.

# Our son Wendel in Tribune, Kansas is in his tenth year of family medical practice. Tribune is a small town of 1,000 people. Several months ago Wendel and is wife purchased a Lutheran Church that had been closed for several years. They are going to remodel the church (only 3,600 sq. ft.) into a house – the are calling their new home “Haven House.” Wendel’s Goal is to make his home a safe place. They are looking at a year of work to remodel the church into their Haven House.

How do you make your home a safe haven? Ephesians 5:15-21 gives the pre-requisites.

-Husband and wife are committed to finding God’s will and obeying His will. 5:17 “…understand what the will of the Lord is.”

- Not living according to the desires of the flesh but filled with the Holy Spirit. 5:18 “…not drunk with wine but filled with the Spirit.”

- Live with a song in your heart. 5:19… “singing and making melody in your heart.”

-Live to the honor and glory of God 5:20… “Giving thanks always for all things to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.”

-Live with a servant’s heart – 5:21…“submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ.”

Marriage is a sacred covenant. Jesus said: “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate.” (Matthew 19:5-6)

Homes become safe havens when the:

I. Wife Encourages and Supports her husband.

It takes both husband and wife working together to make marriage work. Ephesians 5:22-24: “Wives, understand and support your husbands in ways that show your support for Christ. The husband provides leadership to his wife the way Christ does to his church, not by domineering but by cherishing. So, just as the church submits to Christ as he exercises such leadership, wives should likewise submit to their husbands.” (Message). The encouragement and support talked about here is not financial support, but emotional support and working together as part of the marriage partnership and team.

“Submission” talked about here is in the context of love, it is not grievous nor humiliating, but magnifying.

Successful marriages are a partnership – working together in harmony. A marriage is divisive when each partner has his or her own agenda.

Psychologists Dr. Archibald Hart and His daughter Dr. Sharon Hart Morris in their book, Marriage building a relationship you want to come home to – tell of a couple married six years with two small children. They are talking to a counselor. Fighting usually begins at their home when the husband has not helped around the house as his wife would like him to. She tries to talk to her husband about important things, but he never seems to be available to talk. When they do talk she says she has to drag the communication out of him. She says her husband is both aloof and uncaring. He’s a good father, but not the least bit helpful.

The husband says they argue because his wife is always unhappy with him. It’s either that he hasn’t done what she wants him to do or he’s said something hurtful or hasn’t handled the kids right.

He says, “I walk on eggshells most of the time with my wife. No matter what I do, it just isn’t good enough. I say something that upsets her, or I forget to do something she thinks is important. Then I get it. She yells, criticizes, and makes me feel like a failure as a husband. No matter what I do, I can’t convince her that I really do care for her. Quite frankly, I’m tired of the whole thing. I’ve pretty much shut down.”