Love Your Family Members

I have shared this verse with you many times: "Love your neighbor as yourself." I also taught you that this commandment is the most important, alongside loving God with all your heart, soul, and mind. But, notice God didn’t say we have to love all the world, but your neighbor. Then, what was God referring to by neighbor?

When the Israelites reached the Promised Land after their exodus from Egypt (in what is now modern-day Israel), they conquered the nations living there and settled the land. They divided the land among the 12 tribes, and within each tribe, the land was allocated according to clans and families. God intended that they live in these assigned lands generation after generation, meaning their neighbors were primarily their family members and relatives. So, when God commanded them to love their neighbors, He was specifically referring to their families and relatives.

This means that loving your family members and relatives was central to God's command. We must take our family relationships seriously. Sadly, we live in a time where many family relationships are broken.

When I visited Korea for the first time in 44 years, my goal was to meet family members, friends, and relatives. I have three older sisters in Korea and seven nephews. Unfortunately, not all of my nephews were on good terms with each other. My hope and prayer were for them to reconcile and rebuild their relationships. However, the situation was worse than I expected. Two nieces, for instance, had not spoken to each other for more than 10 years. Some family members, despite living in the same town, had never visited one another. Some didn't respond to my calls or declined to meet me, even though it had been decades since we last saw each other. This left me feeling deeply disappointed, frustrated, and upset.

Then my wife asked me, "What good have you done for them besides urging them to believe in Jesus?" I had to admit that, while I prayed for them, I hadn’t done much to show them love in practical ways.

During this trip, I met a Bible college classmate who is now a pastor. His father was Korean but lived mostly in Manchuria, China, which meant many of his relatives live in China, some in the U.S., and others in Korea. Yet, despite this distance, all his family members maintain strong relationships. I commented that his parents and grandparents must have raised them well, but my friend said that their close family ties weren’t because of his parents. It was because of the effort he put in.

He shared that, to maintain these relationships, he goes out of his way. If there's a wedding or another important event, he flies to China or the U.S. to attend, no matter how difficult it might be. If he can’t attend, he always sends a gift or money to show his support.

This was a beautiful example of living out the commandment to "love your neighbor as yourself." I realized that if I had shown the same kind of love and dedication to my own family, things might have turned out differently. I could have helped unite my family and lived a richer, more fulfilling life. In the end, I realized that it’s up to me. If I truly dedicate my time, energy, and resources to loving my family and relatives, I trust that God will help reconcile and unite us, allowing us to experience a blessed life.

The same is true for you. If you want to see your family members and relatives love one another, it starts with you. If you are willing to love them as you love yourself, God will help you bring reconciliation and unity.

This principle also applies to the church. As you have learned, in the New Testament, "neighbor" includes not only family members and relatives but also fellow believers in your local church. Church members are neighbors to one another. If even one person in the church is fully dedicated to the community—whether it's Bethesda Church or a Korean congregation—the church can experience the joy, peace, and righteousness of heaven on earth.

Before I conclude, let me share one more thing. While in Korea, I called one of my nephews, only to find out he was in Vietnam. He was angry with his parents and other relatives, saying he would never forgive or see them again. To his parents, he has been a troublemaker.

What hinders us from loving our neighbors most is a heart that says, "I can’t forgive this person." There are so many people, including Christians, who refuse to forgive family members, relatives, or even fellow church members. In fact, my own mother struggled with this. She was a dedicated woman of prayer and the Word, but she could not forgive my father, even though he had died after spending 25 years in a nursing home following a serious car accident. Because of this unforgiveness, our family was not happy, and my siblings and I grew up with negative thoughts about marriage and family life.