Life Crisis’s That Impact Marriages Series

OPENING

SENTENCE: Not long before Vaunda and I moved to Canada we the got news about Christian musician Steven Curtis Chapman tragically losing his daughter.

INTRODUCTION: Stephen and most of his family were at home and the younger kids were playing outside. The family included 3 naturally born children and 3 adopted children- two from China. The older son, Will, was returning home from an errand and one of the young adopted girls, Maria, ran up to the SUV he was driving but he did not see her. In the process he hit her and she soon died.

I can remember another story from my childhood with friends a few houses down from ours in Virginia. Nine-year-old Karen ran into her parent’s bedroom to answer the phone. In her rush, she knocked over her fathers loaded gun and it discharged when it hit the floor- killing her instantly.

Life is filled with stories like this. They are examples of a major crisis that dramatically change our lives and how we relate to each other. Times like this can put a huge strain on marital relationships. Things like miscarriages, job losses, and financial collapse add an emotional stress that limits our capacity to support and encourage each other because we are all dealing with the same pain. It is hard to give comfort when you are needing it yourself. Pain can be all consuming and it is hard for others to lean on us when we can barely hold ourselves up.

TRANSITION

SENTENCE: This problem is exacerbated when you, or your spouse, bears some of the fault for the crisis.

TRANSITION: In fact, we have learned that times such as this put a huge strain on marriage. The spouse that we hope will give us support cannot offer it because they too are obsessed with their pain. And, if they share some of the guilt they can become the focus of our anger at the same time they feel the oppression of guilt. For this reason, it seems that many otherwise stable marriages become unraveled when tragedy strikes. We know divorce rates go up for people under marital and emotional stress.

SAY WHAT YOU ARE GOING TO SAY: This morning I want us to look at an example a tragedy that was caused by the guilt of the key party- David. In that light, we will ask the question, “How should you deal with a crisis in which you bear some responsibility?”

TEXT: Psalm 51

THEME: When dealing with a major life crisis let God handle what you and your spouse cannot.

How should you deal with a crisis in which you bear some responsibility?

I. You should accept full responsibility for your guilt. (1-5)

Psalm 51 shows us the two extremes brought together by Gods unfailing love. It reveals David’s extreme guilt and God’s extreme mercy. We learn God can by make us righteous, whiter than snow, in spite of our extreme guilt. We learn a lot about God, sin, forgiveness, and salvation.

1 Have mercy on me, O God, according to your unfailing love;

according to your great compassion blot out my transgressions.

2 Wash away all my iniquity and cleanse me from my sin.

3 For I know my transgressions, and my sin is always before me.

4 Against you, you only, have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight;

so you are right in your verdict and justified when you judge.

5 Surely I was sinful at birth, sinful from the time my mother conceived me.

A. The context for this Psalm is found in II Sam. 12:14-19

This psalm is written right after David’s affair with Bathsheba and his murdering of her husband. Nathan, the prophet is confronting him and warns David of the following.

Nathan replied, “The Lord has taken away your sin. You are not going to die. 14 But because by doing this you have shown utter contempt for the Lord, the son born to you will die.”

15 After Nathan had gone home, the Lord struck the child that Uriah’s wife had borne to David, and he became ill. 16 David pleaded with God for the child. He fasted and spent the nights lying in sackcloth on the ground. 17 The elders of his household stood beside him to get him up from the ground, but he refused, and he would not eat any food with them.

18 On the seventh day, the child died. David’s attendants were afraid to tell him that the child was dead, for they thought, “While the child was still living, he wouldn’t listen to us when we spoke to him. How can we now tell him the child is dead? He may do something desperate.”

19 David noticed that his attendants were whispering among themselves, and he realized the child was dead. “Is the child dead?” he asked.