Leaving, Cleaving And Weaving Series

Several years ago I visited with a couple that had been married for over 50 years. Laverne had a stroke so Robert cared for her, made all the meals, and kept the house clean. When I asked him what he thought the secret of marriage was, he responded immediately with just one word: “Christ!” Jesus had mashed their lives together in amazing ways. My mind went to Ecclesiastes 4:9-12: “Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone? And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—a threefold cord is not quickly broken.”

Then Robert got a grin on his face and said that when couples make their marriage vows, it’s best to forget the “better” stuff in the “better or worse” part because it will never be better than on your wedding day! Apparently, right after the ceremony, Robert told Laverne that this was the best he was ever going to be! Actually, I think he got better over time!

Leaving, cleaving and weaving describe what marriages are to look like. When the marital vow is broken, grieving is sure to follow.

4. Grieving. The sanctity of marriage is grounded in God himself. To break what He has brought together is grievous to Him and hurts us as well. Listen to God’s heart in Malachi 2:16: “For the man who does not love his wife but divorces her, says the LORD, the God of Israel, covers his garment with violence, says the LORD of hosts. So guard yourselves in your spirit, and do not be faithless.” The NASB renders it this way: “‘For I hate divorce,’ says the LORD, the God of Israel, ‘and him who covers his garment with wrong,’ says the LORD of hosts. ‘So take heed to your spirit, that you do not deal treacherously.’”

God’s objective for marriage is a loving relationship of oneness. Jesus said it this way in Mark 10:9: “What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.” I like how the KJV renders this verse: “What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.” The word for “joined” means to be “yoked” together. I like this. Marriage is meant to be a yoke, not a joke! A yoke was used to maximize the work capacity of two animals.

Marriage is often described as “getting hitched.” Think of two animals yoked together and hitched to a heavy wagon. Did you know that one Belgian draft horse is able to pull 8,000 pounds? However, if two horses are trained to work together in a harness they can pull 32,000 pounds! Two together can accomplish four times as much when they work as one! That’s the power of synergy. A good relationship has a good reward for its toil because when couples pull together, great things can happen.

If you’re married, be vigilant to guard your vows and determine to keep them, even when your feelings fade…and they will.

Your marriage matters to the Majesty and therefore it must matter to you. See your spouse as your companion, as one who completes you, and as one you are to live in communion with. And make sure that you have done the leaving part, that you are cleaving to each other, and that you are allowing the Holy Spirit to do His work of weaving your lives into one so that you don’t cause grieving.