Keeping The Lines Of Communication Open Series

KEEPING THE LINES OF COMMUNICATION OPEN

The story is told of a couple who lived in upstate New York, who decided to move to Florida to get away from the cold weather. The husband left a bit early and drove down with their stuff while the wife was finishing up things in New York. When he arrived he sent her an email to let her know he was there, but he typed her e-mail address in wrong and instead his e-mail went to a little old lady in Iowa, who had just buried her minister husband the day before.

When the little old lady turned on her computer and read the e-mail, she screamed and fainted on the floor. The note said simply:

Dearest darling. Just wanted you to know I arrived safely. Looking forward to you being with me tomorrow. Signed, Your husband. PS: It sure is hot down here.(SermonCentral, Steve Malone)

Let’s face it. There are many opportunities for miscommunication in marriage, and yet good communication is vitally important for strong and healthy relationships and especially in marriage. This morning I would like to share some instructions from the book of Proverbs on communication within marriage. First I would like you to note that good communication requires listening.

KEYS TO GOOD COMMUNICATION

1. Listen to what’s being said

- Proverbs 18:13

Sometimes we’re like the couple who were with some friends when the subject of marriage counseling came up. Mary said, “Oh, Tom and I will never need marriage counseling. We have a great relationship. He was a communications major in college and I majored in drama. He communicates real well and I just act like I’m listening.” (Rich Young, Sermon Central).

My friend, the Bible says that if we do not listen to one another, if we answer without listening, we are fools.

Do you remember how easy it was to talk when you were dating? My goodness, you would talk about anything and everything. You talked about your past, your future, your hopes and your dreams. You talked about your plans together. Now, we are often so busy that we don’t take time to talk. We settle for leaving a short note on the table on the way out the door.

When we are together, often we just pretend to listen to one another while our minds are a 100 miles away.

President Franklin D. Roosevelt got tired of smiling that big smile and saying the usual things at all those White House functions. So, one evening he decided to find out whether anybody was paying attention to what he was saying. As each person came up to him with extended hand, he flashed that big smile and said; “I murdered my grandmother this morning.” People would automatically respond with comments such as “How Lovely!” or “Just continue with your great work!” Nobody listened to what he was saying, except one foreign diplomat. When the president said, “I murdered my grandmother this morning,” the diplomat responded softly, “I am sure she had it coming to her.” (-James S. Hewett, Illustrations Unlimited, Wheaton: Tyndale, 1988). p. 318.

My friends, listen to one another. Turn off the TV. Put down the newspaper, talk and listen. Second, be honest in all you say.

2. Be Honest in all you say -

- Proverbs 12:22

If there is ever a place where there must be honesty, it is in the home. There must be honesty in the family and there must be honesty between spouses. Speak openly and honestly about your finances and your spending. Be honest about where you go and what you do. Be honest about what you feel and what you think.

Talk openly and honestly about sex. Be honest and up front in the things you do. Don’t give your spouse any reason to question your honesty and integrity.

Gentlemen, one of the quickest ways to destroy your wife’s respect for you; is either to lie to her, or to lie to another person. She wants someone she can trust and respect. That requires honesty.

If you want to keep the lines of communication open in your relationship, then listen. If you want to keep the lines of communication open in your relationship, then be honest in all you say. If you want to keep the lines of communication open, then think before you speak.

3. Think before you speak

- Proverbs 15:28

It is easy to fly off the handle some times. It is easy to let our emotions, or our weariness, or our frustration to speak before our mind gets into gear. But the Bible says the wise man thinks before he speaks. It is so important to think about something before you jump into it because the way you respond to a situation can make all the difference in the world.