Its Not Good To Be Alone Series

Its Not Good to Be Alone

Series: Building Better RELATIONSHIPS

September 12, 2021

Summary: This is a message that leads into series on building better relationships. Identify that our design if for relationship...and the need to grow in relationship building...and the model that Jesus provides....which calls us to “love like that.” (Eph. 5:1-2)

INTRO

My added warm welcome to you today. It’s a privilege to have this time with you.

This is one of my favorite times of the year... soon the warmth of summer will transition into the freshness of Fall. And in that Fall freshness...we are launching a new Fall focus on Building Better Relationships.

This series is an opportunity to do just that....to discover and develop the qualities that lead to better relationships...and a more connected life.

After 18 months of being more socially restricted...we need to counter what I sense is a “pandemic reclusion” many of us may be settling into. Many of us may have found that we have had an inner relational reset. As the past 18 months went along... ... we may have enjoyed some qualities of a smaller circle.... we may have grown more comfortable with the less demanding nature of limited public engagement. Something inside us may not feel up for returning to the full intensity of the way things were.

There is something that can be healthy in resetting our relational nature.

But I believe that we do well not to simply retreat into a reclusion that will leave us more isolated. I believe this is an opportunity to build back a higher quality of connection.

In a world in which we speak of being “connected” in more technical ways... it’s important to consider the more personal nature of connection.

The truth is that as a culture... building healthy relationships has not been easy.

Chicago Tribune columnist Marla Paul confessed in print a few years ago:

“I am lonely. “This loneliness saddens me,” she wrote. “How did it happen I could be forty-two years old and not have enough friends?” She wondered if perhaps “there are women out there who don’t know how lonely they are. It’s easy enough to fill up the day with work…[but it’s] not enough.”

She subsequently wrote about the unexpected nerve this column struck. People stopped her at work, while shopping, at her daughter’s school... saying things like “You too? I thought I was the only one.” Letters came in from homemakers and CEOs. This column elicited seven times her usual amount of mail, and the letters all had the same theme: Why do I feel so lonely? Why is it so hard to make good friends? [1]

If loneliness is common for women, it may be even greater among men... who feel that it too hard to speak of.

Loneliness has such a sting, in fact, that people will admit to being lonely in anonymous polls, but when asked to give their names they will say they are independent and self-sufficient.

As Mother Teresa said, Loneliness is the leprosy of modern society. And no one wants anybody to know they’re a leper. [2]

Loneliness is something we can all face at different levels...and for different reasons. There can be circumstances that separate us from those who have known and loved us. There can be positions of responsibility or convictions that are not easy to share with others. There can be fear and self-protection we allow to isolate us. And perhaps most notably... it can simply be challenging to find and form connections. [3]

Maybe you’ve found that friendships can be hard to form amidst our urban lifestyles. You’re not alone in the challenge.

Maybe you’ve found it hard to maintain connection amidst our increasing mobility and changes. A friend moves... or you move... and those who had gotten to know you...are now far away.

Maybe you’re a single adult who has found it hard not to come home to anyone...and you don’t feel the companionship you long for. Maybe you are a married adult who has found that as you try to make your family a focus... you have found there are aspects of your life in which you feel alone.

Maybe you have come to face the strange way that social media and smartphones...have created a type of connection that is limited. They can serve as a means of making new connections... or keeping up some connections.... but some of us may do well to be face the reality that technology and social media are not providing the real human connection we need. They tend to create a connection that is more safe than satisfying.

The truth is that many of us have more contacts than real connections.

The truth is that we as a culture have been feeling more alone.

Even before the pandemic struck and took over the headlines... public health leaders were already speaking about an epidemic of loneliness.