It's Raining In My House Series

INTRO: Storms come

I've lived in shacks

My mom lived in cars

I've lived in hotels

„« Storms come

Remarried...step children

In the country...in the city

A palace or an apartment...storms come

You have a house and not a home

You need a place of refuge

The church is not to take the place of the home

Animals have homes

The distinction is who built, and where your house is built.

We have too many false expectations that happiness comes from the perfect mate

Newlyweds / after the new wears off

Mr. Right is Mr. Wrong + Mrs. Almost

Those who've been married 50 years had storms

„« Storms will come

Rain falls on the just and unjust

I know you have storms

Jesus sailed through storms

Walked on them

Commanded them

You need Jesus

STORMS

I. Financial Storms

ƒ{ It makes no difference how much money you make

ƒ{ 500 is just as big to some people

ƒ{ As a 50,000 storm is to others

ƒ{ The more you make, the more you need

ƒ{ New levels bring new devils

ƒ{ All financial storms are not from a lack of money;

ƒ{ Some financial storms are because you have money

ƒ{ You don't know what to do with it

ƒ{ You have different philosophies

EXAMPLE: I'm a spender

Patti's a saver

ƒ{ Some storms are that he makes all the money,

ƒ{ Makes all the decisions,

ƒ{ And uses the money to dominate you

ƒ{ Some storms are that she makes more than him and he is insecure in that

ƒ{ Some storms are that you have too much money and don't have time or room for God

ƒ{ Some storms are that you're broke, busted and disgusted.

ƒ{ Some are trying to look like you have money but you don't

7 PRACTICAL STEPS FOR MONEY MANAGEMENT IN MARRIAGE

1. Be a team

Don't put all pressure on her...

Make financial decisions together.

2. Define success

She will help meet if she knows the goal

3. Have a Golden Rule mentality

Norman Schwarzkopf, when asked how he got to spend so much time fishing, replied, "It's easy. Every time I get a new fishing rod, my wife gets a new piece of furniture." He learned to satisfy her, to show his care for her wants and not just his own.

4. Plan together for big changes

What do you do if your financial situation is about to change in a significant way? Suppose one of you has received a big raise or major bonus. I suggest you each separately consider and write down what you would like to do with the money. Then come together, perhaps one or two weeks later, and compare lists. This lets you see what the other's uninfluenced priorities are.

5. Plan together for small changes

An example of a small financial change might be; getting overtime pay, a small raise, or winning an award or minor bonus. You could decide what to do about this using the big change method. It's probably easier to just discuss what to do and start the discussion by letting the receiver of the change make suggestions.

6. Communicate goals

7. PRAY

II. Communication Storms

ƒ{ We need to be stewards of our tongues

ƒ{ What is said in our families -- multi linguistic

ƒ{ Some of you have never admired one another

ƒ{ You can murder with your mouth...some of you are bleeding

ƒ{ Too many things said the wrong way

ƒ{ We all feel the same things, but we don't communicate the same way

ƒ{ Men don't know how to say, I am really a little boy under this cape and boots...

ƒ{ ...so they get mad

ƒ{ Men go to caves...don't go in after him

DIFFERENT COMMUNICATION STORMS

1. (The Tornado) Angry Communication

Just because you're under stress, doesn't give you permission to:

-assault me with your mouth

-break the furniture we bought together

How you communicate has a lot to do with the reaction that you get

EXAMPLE: speaking to the dog

You don't get what you need; you get what you negotiate

Give some to get some

We need to learn to communicate without rage...tears...silence

Adult feelings but childish communication abilities

The wrath of men worketh not the righteousness of God.

You'll never get it right with wrath

You'll never pitch a fit and work it out.

2. (The Lightning Storm) Misunderstood Communication

You're listening but are you understanding?

Men aren't as good at talking...unless it's the ball game.

Men and women speak different languages

Men want quiet...women want to talk through it...when he comes out of hibernation.

Children add to the equation with their own words

Misunderstood signals

Under fathered and over mothered

Why is she angry when I touch her that way?