Is There Room For Jesus?

1." WHAT AM I GOING TO DO NOW?"....THE QUESTION ECHOED SOMEWHERE INSIDE OF MY HEAD! IT WAS ALMOST AS THOUGH IT WERE SYNCHRONIZED, BETWEEN MY FOOT FALLS ON THE PAVEMENT.

2. I HAD BEEN SEARCHING HIGH AND LOW FOR THE PERFECT STORY, A STORY THAT I HAD HOPED TO READ IN CHURCH TONIGHT. MAYBE EVEN SOMETHING A LITTLE DIFFERENT THAN USUAL. SOMETHING NEAT AND TIDY....I THOUGHT TO MYS SELF....AFTER ALL...IT IS CRISTMAS EVE.

3. CHRISTMAS EVE. I HAVE MY MEMORIES, JUST AS YOU HAVE YOURS. I TRIED TO COUNT HOW MANY TIMES I HAD HEARD THE STORY ABOUT MARY, JOSEPH, THE SHEPHERDS, THE ANGELS AND BABY JESUS...... SINCE I WAS A CHILD. THE COUNT WAS A SHORT ONE, YET I KNEW THAT NOT A YEAR HAS GONE BY, WHERE I HAVEN’T HEARD THE STORY AT LEAST ONCE, IN PART, IF NOT IN FULL.

4. OVER THE YEARS IT HAS BECOME FAMILIAR.....SO FAMILIAR THAT IT ALMOST SEEMED PLAIN.....AS MY MIND WANDERED, MY BODY BECAME OBLIVIOUS TO THE STING OF COLD AIR BEING DRAWN INTO MY LUNGS....THE LITTLE VOICE ECHOED AGAIN AND BROUGHT MY THOUGHTS BACK INTO FOCUS: "WHAT AM I GOING TO DO NOW?".

5. I COULDN’T FIND MY STORY.....AT LEAST THE STORY I HAD BEEN LOOKING FOR. AT FIRST, IT STARTED OUT AS A CHALLENGE. THE BOOK HAD A SPECIAL PLACE ON MY SHELF. I TREASURED IT. IT AWAKENED MY MIND AND STIRRED MY IMAGINATION........IT WAS FILLED WITH SHORT STORIES ABOUT JESUS LIFE. I LOVED THAT BOOK AND I KNEW EXACTLY WHERE IT WAS....AT LEAST I THOUGHT I DID.

6. BUT WHEN I WENT TO THE PLACE IT HAD ALWAYS BEEN, I DISCOVERED IT MISSING....GIVING YET ANOTHER OCCASION FOR THE LITTLE VOICE IN MY HEAD TO SPEAK....."D’UH.....REMEMBER....YOU GAVE IT AWAY...."BY THIS TIME, I WAS WELL INTO THE RHYTHM OF RUNNING. THE CHILL OF THE COOL AIR HAD FINALLY FADED, AND I WAS STARTING TO WARM UP.

7. MY THOUGHTS DRIFTED BACK TO THE BOOK. IT WAS, AFTER ALL, A POPULAR PIECE OF WORK.. THE STORIES IT CONTAINED WERE GRIPPING. THEY WERE PERFECT FOR SHARING BECAUSE THE WORDS WERE ELOQUENT. NO NEED TO PANIC. I KNEW AT LEAST FOUR CLOSE FRIENDS WHO HAD PURCHASED IT. ALL THAT I HAD TO DO WAS CALL THEM, AND MAKE ARRANGEMENTS TO PICK IT UP.

8. ONE BY ONE, I CYCLED THROUGH THE MENTAL LIST I HAD MADE, AND CALLED EACH OF MY FRIENDS IN TURN. ONE BY ONE CAME THE REPLIES...."UHH....YOU KNOW WHAT....ITS KIND OF STRANGE CAUSE I JUST HAD IT, BUT I CAN’T FIND IT ANYWHERE"

9. SUDDENLY, THE LIST GREW. BEFORE LONG, ALL LOGIC AND REASON HAD BEEN THROWN OUT THE WINDOW.I BEGAN TO CALL PEOPLE I BARELY KNEW....."YEAH....WHO AM I?.....JONATHAN.....NO, NO, ITS JO-NATH-AN.....MCKAY...., THAT’S RIGHT MCKAY..........NO, NO, M-C.......NOT MAC"

10. THREE CHRISTAN BOOKSTORES LATER, AND STILL I CAME UP EMPTY. THE REPLIES WERE THE SAME....."WE JUST SOLD OUR LAST COPY, RIGHT BEFORE YOU CALLED...." I COULDN’T EVEN FIND A COPY IN FRENCH.

11. FINALLY, IN THE PIT OF DESPARATION, I COMPLAINED WHOLE-HEARTEDLY TO A FRIEND. "IT WAS THE PERFECT STORY FOR CHRISTMAS EVE....." "IT HAD ALL THE ELEMENTS THAT MAKE A STORY PERFECT....IT WAS INTRIGUING, IT WAS BEAUTIFUL, THE WORDS WERE PRETTY....IT SOUNDED SO NICE...." IT WAS NEAT AND TIDY, NOT TOO DEEP, NOT TOO PERSONAL....IT WOULD HAVE BEEN THE WRAPPING ON THE GIFT....."

12. "JONATHAN.....CAME THE REPLY FROM MY FRIEND......MAYBE GOD DOESN’T WANT YOU TO TELL THAT ONE....."......I WAS TAKEN ABACK....."WHY NOT...." "ITS CHRISTMAS EVE, ITS A PERFECT STORY FOR CHRISTMAS EVE?" SURELY GOD KNEW WHAT I HAD ALREADY FIGURED OUT......SURELY HE KNEW THAT’S WHAT I NEEDED.

13. DEFEATED AND DEFLATED....I DID WHAT I ALWAYS DO WHEN FRUSTRATION KNOCKS ON MY DOOR. I HEADED OUTSIDE FOR A RUN. MY THOUGHTS DRIFTED ONCE AGAIN TO THE STORY THAT WAS SO FAMILIAR TO ME...AND I BEGAN TO PRAY.....

14. GOD....FORGIVE ME....BUT I DON’T HAVE A STORY TO TELL. WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO SAY? THIS TIME, I PUT SOME MENTAL TAPE ON THE MOUTH OF THE LITTLE VOICE BEFORE HE COULD SAY " I TOLD YOU, YOU SHOULD HAVE ASKED GOD FIRST..." TOO EASY....MAYBE. THIS TIME A DIFFERENT VOICE SPOKE....."LISTEN TO THE STORY AGAIN........IT SAID"

15. BUT GOD, I’VE HEARD IT SO MANY TIMES, THE ENDING IS ALWAYS THE SAME..........STILL, THE VOICE WAS PERSISTANT....LISTEN TO THE STORY, AND I DID. THEN I HEARD THE CHRISTMAS STORY, LIKE I HAD NEVER HEARD IT BEFORE.

16. THERE WAS NOTHING FANCY OR PLASTIC ON THE FIRST CHRISTMAS EVE. NO CAREFUL SCRIPTING, NO STUDIO AUDIENCE, AND NO HOLLYWOOD PRODUCER. THERE WERE NO RIBBONS AND BOWS. THE SMELL OF CHRISTMAS COOKING WAS NOT IN THE AIR. THERE WERE NO CHRISTMAS LIGHTS TO BRIGHTEN THE DARKNESS OUTSIDE.

17. THERE WERE NO STOCKINGS, NO MANTLE, NO WARM FIRE BURNING IN THE FIREPLACE TO TAKE AWAY THE CHILL OF THE NIGHT.. THERE WAS NO EGGNOG AND HOLIDAY TURKEY TO SATSIFY THE RESTLESS HUNGER OF THE WORLD.