Husband, Love Your Wife-Body (Ephesians 5:15-33) Series

Today, we continue our series on Ephesians, and we continue to talk about husbands and wives, Christ and the church. Last week, I focused on wives, because that's where Paul starts. We saw that what it means for a wife to submit to her husband primarily revolves around the idea of treating him with respect. That's how Paul defines submission-- as respect.

When it comes to respect, the thing wives perhaps most need to hear, is that respect is not something a husband has to earn. It's not something he can lose, and then struggle to regain. Respect is like love. Respect is something you choose to do. And it's something God commands wives to do, for their husbands.

Just in the past month or so, I realized that my wife had been reaching out to me more than usual during the day, to bounce more stuff than usual off of me, in more areas. Once or twice, she called because she really wasn't quite sure how to handle a situation. But most of the time, she called me about something she could've handled, and made a decision on, by herself. What she was wanting to know, was if I have a strong opinion on this or that thing. Should we still pay for Maddy's cello to be repaired, or should Maddy do that at this point? Should [my wife] go ahead and submit paperwork for the new job, or wait a bit? So I let [my wife] know that I really appreciated her doing this. I thanked her for it. And she's responded, by more intentionally bringing me into more of the decisions she makes in life. Sometimes I really don't care at all. Other times, I care a lot. And every once in a while, I'm sure she's super happy she called, because I do in fact have a brilliant insight.

The end result, isn't that she always does exactly what I want. And in the domestic sphere, our household looks like a typical Roman household, really. The wife runs the show, in most ways, and I'm happy about that, and happy to stay out of vast swaths out household decisions. But I've noticed about myself, that since she's been more intentional about asking my thoughts and opinion, that I've started feeling like a much bigger man. My shoulders are broader. I'm pretty sure I can bench press 50 more pounds suddenly. But in all seriousness, [my wife] is treating me with respect in new ways, and those ways feel really good, as a man, as a husband. And she's perhaps noticed that suddenly, the pots and pans are magically scrubbed several mornings a week, which is also new. Weird, how things magically get cleaned around the house.

So last week, the focus was on wives, and on how Paul wants wives to be filled with the Holy Spirit, so that they are empowered to put themselves under their husbands, primarily by showing them respect.

This week, the focus is on husbands.

There are three things I want to talk about, before diving in.

(1) Thing #1 has to do with the structure of this part of Ephesians as a whole in chapters 5 and 6. Paul addresses the three pairs of people that were found in a first century Roman household. We tend to think of the modern family as having either one or two parents, 2.2 kids, and a dog. But in a Roman household, there are three pairs of people, and Paul addresses all three pairs. Paul writes to (1) wives and husbands, (2) then children and parents, and (3) then slaves and masters. Within a first century Roman context, each of these pairs has one member that's far above the other. Husbands were more important than wives, parents than children, and masters than slaves. I'm not saying, that Paul is saying that. I'm saying, that's how people were ranked in importance and significance in first century Rome.

There's a famous philosopher, Aristotle, who also writes about how a Roman household should be organized. It's longer than I want to read here, but I've put a link in your translation to a scholar who quotes Aristotle, and then interacts with it. And you should all go home and just read it.

https://www.psephizo.com/life-ministry/aristotle-and-the-household-codes/

When we compare Paul to Aristotle, there are several things that jump out. The first, is that Paul is unique in addressing the lower members of the household. Aristotle addresses the man, and that's all he thinks he needs to do. Paul, though, writes to the woman, and children, and slaves. In fact, Paul addresses them first. So what does this tell us? The weaker members have a voice. They have dignity. They are players in the game of life, who have real choices, and make real decisions (*Tim Mackie