Hurts And Healing In Leadership

2Co 4:7 But we have this treasure (wealth) in earthen vessels, (frail clay) that the excellency (going beyond) of the power may be of God, and not of us.

2Co 4:8 We are troubled (crowed afflicted) on every side, yet not distressed; (extreme anxiety sorrow and pain) we are perplexed, (be at a loss, hemmed in in doubt) but not in despair; (utterly at a loss, despondent)

2Co 4:9 Persecuted, (pursued made to suffer) but not forsaken; cast down,(thrown) but not destroyed;

2Co 4:10 Always bearing about in the body the dying of the Lord Jesus, that the life also of Jesus might be made manifest in our body.

Sometimes leaders are hurt. This does not mean you are not strong or a good leader it just means that you are in the trenches fighting.

We are working with a broken world full of broken people that are going to make broken decisions that cause breaking in you and I as leaders.

You will battle with anger bitterness and hatred, this means you still need Jesus and are not dead.

If you do not handle these strong emotions properly you may because cynical negative and discouraged.

Dr. Kenneth Haugk, a clinic psychologist, defines pathological antagonists as “individuals who, on the basis of non-substantive evidence, go out of their way to make insatiable demands, usually attacking the person or performance of others. These attacks are selfish in nature, tearing down rather than building up, and are frequently directed against those in a leadership capacity.” They are termed pathological because their attitude and behavior are abnormal that is characteristic of disease.

Labeling is a necessary part of communication and understanding. It is an important function of language. All disciplines practice labeling-the sciences history philosophy psychology psychiatry politics and theology. Labeling is simply a way of classifying and understanding observable realities.

These people are destructive (their goal is damage) they ae determined, deceitful, sometimes demonic, often in denial of their own responsibility, intimidating, are often in disguise- looking like the crowd they are hanging with. And usually these people in the process of their living have been terribly damaged themselves.

These leader killers have surrounded and insulated themselves with a whole array of defense mechanisms and justifications for their actions. They firmly believe that what they are doing in harming and terminating a minister is the right thing to do. For them, it is the will of God. Nevertheless, they are sick and mean people.

So you will deal with broken people who break other people

Idiots selfish people dishonest people underhanded people those with ulterior motivation

Be careful not to demonize normal opposition that is somewhat healthy and a natural sometimes spiritual balancing mechanism.

Example of loss of $10,000

The apostle Paul used labels to identify certain church leaders who sought to destroy his ministry

2Co 11:13 For such are false apostles, deceitful workers, transforming themselves into the apostles of Christ.

False Apostles – pseudo-apostolos pretend leaders, not genuine

Paul also called religious leaders false teachers and hypocrites

john referred to Diotrephes whose name comes from trepho which means to turn away convolution twisted to stiffen to fatten to pamper to cherish feed nourish who was prideful he wanted to be out front and first, he was malicious a very ambitious individual,

Diotrpehes spread false charges

when you as leaders are hurt there is much collateral damage inflicted on your marriage, children, health, peace of mind, faith and future.

If we do not allow healing then we may find ourselves in the very dangerous position of retreat from leadership and calling and developing the attitude as others that “all the church has done is hurt me”.

Research reveals that leaders and ministers are leaving church servanthood at alarming rates

There are those who purposefully attack and try to harm those in leadership but there are those that attack and hurt accidentally. Some revolt and stand for what seems to them to be a noble and valiant fight. And you can not convince them otherwise.

The hardest pains to endure is when the people hurting you are good people that you respect and love. Part of our growth is pain induced and is not meant by God as evil but we determine the outcome

EX. Our ideas shot down (ex. Minister now in false doctrine)

-Our good overlooked

- alone in our pain is allowed by God

Joseph had many years and pits and prisons to have his humanity worked on

You meant it for evil but god meant it for good

And it is still painful to be attacked even by mean evil people

The arguments of a pathological antagonist are usually founded on little or terribly misrepresented evidence.

Some common logical fallacies employed are:

- pettifogging (quibbling over petty details, offering strong proof of irrelevant points);