How To Raise Positive Kids In A Negative World Series

And so, a parent’s challenge is what? How do we not get her children through landmines of change, of moral relativism, of information overload, of drugs, of alcohol, of peer pressure and sexual morality? The question I’m asking as a parent, and the question most parents that I know well are asking: "How can I be an effective parent in a defective world? Is there a way that I can navigate my child through this mess that we call our culture? Is it possible for a kid to grow up in all this mess and be godly?"

And I wanna tell ya, "Yes! God has a plan. There is hope." I mean, this Book is filled with stories of cultures more vile, more evil, more negative than we’re facing right now, and God choosing a little teenager that He chose to come to the planet on -- a little girl named Mary. He chose another teenager in one of the most perverse cultures in Persia. His name was Daniel and he revolutionized the entire future. God can take a normal parent like you, an ordinary parent like me, and with His Word, empowered by the Holy Spirit, He can teach you and He can teach me to help our kids break right through the culture.

We’re gonna spend our time learning together. Will we fail? Yes. I mean, big disclaimer. I have four kids -- 15, 22, 28 and 28. I’ve been through seasons of rebellion with them. I’ve been through times where Teresa and I sat up in bed, like many of you have sat up in bed, and literally cried not knowing what to do with one of our kids, we were so frustrated. At other times I’ve been so mad I had to stay in the bedroom before I talked to ’em, because I’d do something stupid. Parenting is hard. There’s times you’re gonna get discouraged. There’s times you think your kids are never gonna change. There’s times you’re gonna think it’s impossible. I want you to know, don’t give up and don’t give in.

Now, in this first session together, I wanna build a framework for all that we’re gonna talk about. Okay? Overarching principles: I want you to step back. Not a lot of specifics about what to do with this child, or this age or that age. I wanna give you a big, broad set of overarching principles about how to be an effective parent, and I’ve entitled this one How to Be a Positive Parent in a Negative World. And so, let’s jump in and start with Principle No. 1.

Principle No. 1 is Positive Parenting Begins with Positive Clear-cut Objectives. Okay? Positive parenting. You wanna be a positive parent. You wanna make a difference. It begins with positive, clear-cut objectives. On your notes, if you would, put a little squiggly line and then make a circle and draw a little target. See, someone has rightly said, "If you don’t know what you’re aiming for you’ll hit it every time." You have to have a crystal clear target. What is it that you’re trying to produce? What’s a parent to do? What are you trying to accomplish? And God gives us the Reader’s Digest version of the target or the goal in Ephesians 6:4. He says, "Fathers, don’t overcorrect your children or make it difficult for them to obey the Commandment." That’s the negative command. Positively: "Bring them up with Christian teaching in Christian discipline." Now, we’re gonna touch on this later, but notice that Dads -- we get a little nudge here that God wants us to have some real initiative in the family. And then notice there’s a positive; don’t do things that just frustrate your kids. As parents, there are some amoral issues. There’s some things that are a matter of style. Make sure you win the war and then don’t try and win every single little battle. So, don’t overcorrect your kids.