How To Have A Submissive Wife

Ephesians 5:25-33 "How to Have a Submissive Wife"

God commanded husbands and wives to do something that is really difficult for each of us to do.

He commanded that women be submissive to their own husbands.

They aren’t required to be submissive to all men, just their husbands.

It’s hard for a woman to be submissive.

It’s hard for her to willingly put herself under a man’s authority, even though it is best for her.

And the difficult thing God told men to do is love their wives.

Men talk a lot about loving their wives, but it is really hard for a man to love his wife.

How many men do you know who tell their wives they love them on a daily basis?

If you ask a lot of men how often they tell their wives they love them, you will probably hear, "Not real often, but she knows I love her."

Well, if you are one of those men, let me share this with you: She might know, but deep down inside, she might doubt.

Women tend to be givers by nature.

Men tend to be takers.

And a man will take as much as he can from his wife if he doesn’t understand the basic principles of Scripture regarding his position in the home.

One woman’s sentiment is summed up in this inscription on this New England tombstone:

Beneath these stones there does lie, Back to back, my husband and I.

When the last trumpet the air shall fill, If he gets up, I think I’ll just lie still.

There are lots of women out their who share this sentiment.

That’s because, even if you are one of those few men who tell your wife you love her, you actions might be telling a different story. And the story our actions tell is much louder than the one our lips tell.

Our wives want two things from us: they want us to tell them often that we love them, and they want us to show them more often that we love them.

Now, an ocassional gift of a dozen red roses does wonders, but there are ways we can show our wives we love them on a daily basis.

Our example is Jesus Christ.

If we love our wives like Christ loves us, our wives find it much easier to be submissive to us.

But you have to remember this: you can’t expect your wife to be submissive if you aren’t willing to set an example of Christlike love.

Let’s look at some of those qualities of love our wives are looking for, using Christ as our example:

I. The love of Christ is unconditional

"Agape"-unconditional love, is not a feeling, it is an action. It is forgiving and doesn’t hold grudges. It doesn’t expect anything in return for this love except our devotion. It loves “even if…”

II. The love of Christ is sacrificial (v25)

Christ gave himself for us, his church.

He put his needs before his. Jesus Christ came to serve, not to be served.

What do we give up for our wives?

III. The love of Christ is purifying (v26-27)

Christ gave himself for us so that we could be declared holy, so that he could present us to himself as a "radiant" church, without stain or wrinkle, or any other blemish.

He wanted us to be pure.

If Christ went to such great lengths to make his bride pure, shouldn’t we want our wives to be pure and radiant?

How do we do that?

First and foremost, we take our responsibility to be the spiritual leaders of the home seriously.

That means we take the initiative to ensure our wives (and children for that matter) have a relationship with the Lord.

Have you ever compared a woman who has a wholesome relationship with the Lord with one who doesn’t?

They just seem to have a natural radiance that non-Christian women just don’t have.

They seem to glow.

We can also encourage our wives to engage in Bible study and prayer.

We can pray with our wives and for our wives.

We can encourage them to be all that God wants them to be and help them in their walk.

Shouldn’t we want to bless our wives in every way we possibly can?

IV. The love of Christ is caring (v28-29)

Jesus loved us more than he loved his own body.

In the same way husbands are to love their wives.

We care about our bodies.

Some guys are obsessed with their bodies.

How can we show our wives that we care about them?

V. The love of Christ is inseparable (v30-31)

The phrase "be united" in verse 31 can actually be translated "be glued together."

Because of love a man leaves his father and mother.