Helping The Helpers

HoHum:

Rosalyn Carter said it best: There are only 4 kinds of people in the world- those who have been caregivers, those who are currently caregivers, those who will be caregivers and those who will need caregivers

Paula C. Lowe said, “The lifelong process of caregiving is the ultimate link between caregivers of all ages. You and I are not just in a phase we will outgrow. This is life- birth, death, and everything in between. The care continuum is the cycle of life turning full circle in each of our lives. And what we learn when we spoon feed our babies will echo in our ears as we feed our parents. The point is not to be done. The point is to be ready to do again.”

WBTU:

Stuck between frozen and frenzied, caregivers do whatever they can do or do nothing. It can be nervous energy used to do absolutely everything, pushing limitations, or having numbness set in and not being able to do much of anything. Caregivers need and want to take care of themselves, but often don’t know when and how. The estimated $257 billion value of family caregiving doesn’t include the physical and emotional toll on the caregiver.

Caregiving affects relationships, finances, careers and personal activities. Challenges occur when trying to plan ahead for a caregiver and the one being cared for. Things can change moment to moment, let alone day to day. Accepting the difficult caregiving privilege means they will experience agony and ecstasy.

Thesis: Helping the Helpers

For instances:

Encourage caregivers to avoid burnout with self care

Doing the exhausting job of caregiving tends to crowd out a caregiver’s self care resulting in burnout. In the same way that the flight attendant advises the flier to put their oxygen mask on before putting on anyone else’s mask, the caregiver must care for self before caring for another.

Ron Shackleford wrote in Caring for Those Who Can’t, “The one thing I would tell a caregiver is to take care of self before you take care of the patient.” Writing from his experience with the elderly he continued, “Nurture yourself, or you will burn out... Love is not always logical. I believe that God’s way is to take care of oneself, pray a lot, rest, and eat well.”

If caregivers do not take care of themselves, there can be caregiver burnout. Caregiver burnout can range from depression to physical exhaustion to bizarre behavior. Terry Hargrave wrote: Frustration and burnout of caregivers is a major contributor to all sorts of family problems, like elder abuse, divorce, and sibling cutoffs. Explore and get involved in things that restore your own energy.

Caregivers need patience and tolerance with themselves. Resentment at having to give the care and taking care of someone else before self care can mount. Every caregiver has the challenge to find time for everything for everybody and usually put themselves last on the long list of priorities. Caregivers need to watch for exhaustion from the details, frustration from not having time for self, guilt for wishing they did not have those attitudes and feelings, anger that other people don’t help more than they do, and concern that personal irritability will affect their caregiving and personal health. Diet and exercise will help all of these.

52% of all caregivers report having less time for family and friends. This means caregivers no longer receive that emotional support from others that recharges their batteries. It is great to help those in need, but we must also willingly receive help when we have a need. Sometimes allowing self to come apart by venting or crying, allows the keeping it together self to remain healthy.

Encourage caregivers to maintain their own health

Do not obsess, do not do caregiving alone, or emotionally overburden yourself. Caring for others includes self awareness. Exercise, proper rest, eating plenty of fresh fruits and vegetables, and whole grains, keeping doctor’s appointments, and dental appointments all contribute to maintaining a caregiver’s optimum health. Visit the doctor when signs of sickness, exhaustion or depression appear. Don’t ignore any signs of change.

Encourage journaling

Writing down concerns and possible solutions can help the focus of caregiving. “How will I pay for Mom’s new medications?” “Who can drive Dad to his doctor when I have to work?” Journaling allows a safe place to vent frustration and pour out emotions the caregiver may feel reluctant to share with the care receiver or you.

Caregivers working outside their homes should be encouraged to consider taking time off. Talk to the employer about the Family and Medical Leave Act. Making an informed decision about the appropriate time for taking leave may involve speaking with the medical professionals.

Seek and accept help from others

Family, friends, church family and organizations may all offer some type of assistance. Find resources and remove pride standing in the way of seeking and accepting help