Having A Marriage That Sizzles

Having a Marriage that Sizzles Text: I Cor. 13:1-8a

Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I have become sounding brass or a clanging cymbal. 2 And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3 And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, but have not love, it profits me nothing.4 Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; 5 does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; 6 does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; 7 bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. 8a. Love never fails.

Introduction: Paul is addressing men and women who have taken the Spiritual affairs of the church in their own hands, and have said by their actions “If God doesn’t move in the right way we will do it for Him!” Paul say’s, you can have all tongues, all prophecy, all understanding, understand all mysteries, and have all knowledge, faith, feed the poor and give your body to be burned. Then Paul say’s, “If that’s your motive you are nothing but a selfish pig!”

I. I took my boys to the Calhoun fair last year, and we walked over to the animal exhibit. We were all doing fine until we walked over to watch the pigs. Those animals totally are selfish and will even hurt each other to get their way!

A. The number 1 problem in marriage is selfishness! Therefore, the first commandment in marriage should be: “Thou shalt not be selfish!”

B. Phil. 2:3 Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself.

C. Every marriage that I have performed I always say some of the same words like: “ Before God, family and friends, do you pledge to love and cherish one another through sickness and in health, in poverty and in wealth, and to put the other’s needs and desires before your own and anyone else’s, except God’s. So far they have all said, “I do!” (Sadly, not all have lasted!)

D. Remember, before the Ten Commandments were given unto Moses; God performed the very first marriage ceremony- a beautiful garden wedding on a perfect day with a perfect man and a perfect woman. Adam and Eve had it all! Just imagine! Adam could truly say to Eve, “You’re the only girl in the world for me!” Adam would never hear those words from Eve, “Let me tell you about the guy I could have married!”

E. We understand because of the fall of man-kind God’s perfect plan has been disrupted! That’s why everyday couples have to work on their marriage!

F. Willard F. Harley Jr. wrote, those of us in the business of trying to save marriages struggle daily with cultural beliefs and practices that make our job difficult. The sudden surge of divorces in the 70s, that has made America the country with the highest divorce rate, has a great deal to do with changes in our beliefs. More to the point, it has to do with a major shift toward self-centeredness. Beliefs that encourage self-centeredness destroy marriage.

G. I Cor. 13: 4-8a Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.8a. Love never fails.

H. There are four symptoms of selfishness! 1. Immaturity. (My way.) 2. Time choices. ( Hobbies) 3. Insensitivity. ( Not noticing each other) 4. Stubbornness. ( Not forgiving)

I. One couple began to ask each other: “What say’s, “I love you’ to you?”

J. There are 3 kinds of love: 1. Feelings love ( Eros) When I met Jenny I felt as love sick as the man described by the anonymous poet: I climbed up the door and shut the stairs; I said my shoes and took off my prayers. I shut off the bed and climbed into the light. And all because- She kissed me good night!

K. 1. Give attention to your relationship. 2. Activate your will. 3. Stay on track. Eph. 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her,

L. Friendship love (Philia) Become best friends! [In the church bulletin read, “Irving Jones and Jesse Brown were married on Oct.24. So ends a friendship that began in school days]!”