Guilt And Shame Series

We continue our series of escape by looking at another area of ourselves that keeps us from experiencing the freedom Jesus’ coming, suffering, dying and rising offer us. The last couple of weeks we spoke about escaping bad decisions, this week I’d like to explore overcoming the lasting effects of our worst decisions.

Before I begin, I want to ask us a couple of questions.

First, how many have heard that Jesus' death and rising provides us forgiveness for all our sins?

Second, how many of us believe that when you confess and repent, our sins are forgiven?

Third, how many of us have thought about, or re-lived a past sin, wondering if it had really been forgiven?

The past has a weird way of coming back to haunt us especially when it's painful or embarrassing. We all have video in our head of past events, we’d like to delete. However, the harder we try the more they seem to come up in our favorites. Cognitive therapists offer solutions to try and get a person to choose to think or act differently as a way to open up new neural pathways so our brains don’t use the old route. However, this rarely works when we are dealing with embedded feelings of guilt and shame.

Brene Brown, author and researcher, says "Guilt says, I've done something or failed to do something that is aligned with my values. And it feels awful. I need to make amends, make a change and hold myself accountable. I need to fix it."

And

"Shame is the fear of being unworthy of love, connection and belonging, and the absence of love and connection and belonging as a human being, means there's suffering… Shame makes you believe you are a bad person.”

Guilt says you did something bad. Shame says you are bad.

Shame is definitely worse because it haunts us and affects us negatively in all areas of our life. To explore this more and find the christian solution, let's turn to John 4:4. As you find this in your bible, let me give you the background.

Jesus is about to embark on a journey back to Jerusalem. There were two paths he could go there. One was through Samaria and the other was around Samaria. A good Jew would walk around Samaria because it was a land considered unclean because of what had happened when the Assyrians and the Babylonians conquered them. The short story is the conquers would come, take the leaders, the best and the brightest back to their capital and then ship in their loyal subjects to intermingle with those left behind. Now true Jews were not supposed to marry outside the faith but those in Samaria did so they were considered half breeds and looked down upon. If a Jewish person even stepped foot in Samaria, they would need to go through a multi-day cleansing ritual upon returning to Israel. This is where we pick up the story…

4 Now he had to go through Samaria. 5 So he came to a town in Samaria called Sychar, near the plot of ground Jacob had given to his son Joseph. 6 Jacob’s well was there, and Jesus, tired as he was from the journey, sat down by the well. It was about noon. 7 When a Samaritan woman came to draw water, Jesus said to her, “Will you give me a drink?” 8 (His disciples had gone into the town to buy food.)

Jesus “had to go” is a key phrase. Why? Why would Jesus (God incarnate) have to go to and through this unclean area?

Jesus was setting a precedent for all who choose to follow Him. The original readers and hearers of this story would have been shocked at the actions of a Rabbi. However, it was shared to make a point. There is no part of humanity He finds unclean. The Samaritan forefathers' actions did not condemn the current generation from participation in the Kingdom of God. Everyone, when they encounter Jesus, is responsible for their own actions.

9 The Samaritan woman said to him, “You are a Jew and I am a Samaritan woman. How can you ask me for a drink?” (For Jews do not associate with Samaritans.) 10 Jesus answered her, “If you knew the gift of God and who it is that asks you for a drink, you would have asked him and he would have given you living water.” 11 “Sir,” the woman said, “you have nothing to draw with and the well is deep. Where can you get this living water? 12 Are you greater than our father Jacob, who gave us the well and drank from it himself, as did also his sons and his livestock?”

She knew the social customs. She knew it was “wrong” for the two to be alone. She stayed anyway. In furthering the conversation, she was participating in a culturally scandalous situation. A situation she was familiar with throughout her life.