Free To Forgive

INTRO – THE HARDEST COMMAND AND THE SWEETEST FREEDOM

There are certain things Jesus says that sound beautiful when you read them on the page… and then they hit like a hammer when you realize He means them.

“Love your enemies.”

“Bless those who curse you.”

“Pray for those who despitefully use you.”

“Forgive.”

Forgive.

Not because it’s easy.

Not because it’s natural.

Not because the people who wounded you suddenly became lovable.

Forgive—because God’s love is always for giving.

And the moment you step into Christ, His love begins shaping your heart to look like His. Not part of His heart. Not the gentle parts only. The whole heart.

Including the forgiving part.

But let’s be honest tonight: forgiveness may be the single hardest thing God ever asks a human being to do. Some of you would rather climb Mount Sinai barefoot than revisit certain memories. Some of you would rather walk into a lion’s den than walk into a painful conversation with a family member.

And I understand that.

Because forgiveness isn’t about trivial things.

It’s not about the neighbor’s barking dog or the coworker who forgot your name.

Forgiveness touches the places we protect.

The places we hide.

The places we never expected anyone to violate.

But listen, beloved:

Unforgiveness doesn’t protect those places. It poisons them.

You don’t lock unforgiveness inside your heart—unforgiveness locks you inside its prison. And the longer you stay there, the more the walls begin to feel like home.

But tonight the Holy Spirit is walking into that prison with keys in His hands.

He’s not here to shame you.

He’s not here to condemn you.

He’s not here to tell you your pain doesn’t matter.

He’s here to open the door.

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THE DEBT EVERY HUMAN KNOWS

Jesus often used financial language to talk about forgiveness.

Not emotional language.

Not therapeutic language.

Financial language.

Debts.

Accounts.

Owing.

Settling.

Canceling.

Because when someone wounds you deeply, it feels like they took something from you:

A childhood that should have been safe

A marriage that should have been sacred

A trust that should have been honored

A future that should have been protected

A word that should have been spoken but never was

A love that should have been given but was withheld

So we say things like:

“They owe me an apology.”

“They owe me a conversation.”

“They owe me an explanation.”

“They owe me the years they stole from me.”

You see the language?

A debt.

And here is where unforgiveness begins:

Unforgiveness is the decision to hold the debt.

Forgiveness is the decision to cancel the debt.

Not because the debt wasn’t real.

Not because the pain didn’t happen.

Not because time erased it.

But because Christ erased yours.

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THE GOSPEL FOUNDATION: YOU WERE FORGIVEN FIRST

Ephesians 4 ends with a command wrapped in a miracle:

> “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake has forgiven you.”

Before God ever asks you to forgive, He reminds you:

You were the debtor first.

You owed the unpayable bill.

And Christ paid it.

Let me speak this as plainly as I can:

You are not being asked to create forgiveness.

You are being asked to release what has already been poured into you.

Forgiving others is not something you manufacture.

Forgiving others is the overflow of God forgiving you.

Every time you forgive someone, you’re not showing how good you are—you’re showing how powerful the cross is.

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THE CONFUSION: “BUT I DON’T FEEL LIKE FORGIVING”

Here is where so many believers get trapped.

They say:

“I can’t forgive because I still hurt.”

“I can’t forgive because I still feel bitter.”

“I can’t forgive because the anger isn’t gone.”

“I can’t forgive because the emotions keep coming back.”

And so they conclude:

“I guess I haven’t forgiven.”

Hear me:

Forgiveness is NOT an emotion. Forgiveness is an act of the will.

If forgiveness depended on emotion, no one would ever forgive anything.

Forgiveness is a decision.

A declaration.

An act of obedience that says:

“I release the debt.

They do not owe me anymore.

I choose mercy over vengeance.

I choose Christ over bitterness.”

And the moment you do that, the Holy Spirit begins to work on the emotion—the bitterness, the anger, the ache, the trauma—because that’s His job.

Your job is the decision.

God’s job is the healing.

You don’t wait for healing before forgiving.

Healing flows after forgiveness.

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THE SPIRITUAL REALITY: UNFORGIVENESS OPENS THE DOOR

Paul says something in Ephesians 4 that ought to sober every one of us:

> “Do not give place to the devil.”

The word “place” is topos—land, territory, ground.

Paul is saying:

Unforgiveness is ground you hand to the enemy.

Ground in your emotions.

Ground in your thoughts.