Forgiving Difficult People Series

There is nothing easy about the world in which we live. This is a world full of people, and if we are going to succeed in life, or be effective at sharing the gospel, we must learn how to deal with people, especially those who are difficult; and we must learn to love them no matter how they treat us. For example, “When the first missionaries came to Alberta, Canada, they were savagely opposed” by the Cree Indians.(1) However, the missionaries overlooked their opposition to continue sharing the love of Christ; and as a result, a young chief named Maskepetoon responded to the gospel and accepted Jesus as Savior and Lord.

Shortly afterward, a member of the Blackfoot tribe killed his father. Maskepetoon rode into the village where the murderer lived and demanded that he be brought before him. Confronting the guilty man, he said, “You have killed my father, so now you must be my father. You shall ride my best horse and wear my best clothes.” In utter amazement and remorse his enemy exclaimed, “My son!” He then said, “Now you have killed me!” He meant, of course, that the hate in his own heart had been completely erased by the forgiveness and kindness of the Indian chief.(2)

Maskepetoon demonstrated forgiveness and mercy, because of his faith in Christ; because the Lord Jesus had forgiven him of his own crimes. I wonder how many of us could forgive someone who had murdered one of our own family members? That would be the ultimate test of forgiving difficult people; and I pray that none of us will ever face such a test.

In our message today, we are going to see how Jesus taught the importance of patience and forgiveness when dealing with difficult people. He stressed how we should not run from our problems or fight back against opposition. Fight or flight was not part of His vocabulary. Jesus taught how we should persist with people, not resist them, realizing that in due time our witness could win the lost to Christ.

Jesus Spoke Against Self-Vindication (vv. 38-42)

38 You have heard that it was said, “An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.” 39 But I tell you not to resist an evil person. But whoever slaps you on your right cheek, turn the other to him also. 40 If anyone wants to sue you and take away your tunic, let him have your cloak also. 41 And whoever compels you to go one mile, go with him two. 42 Give to him who asks you, and from him who wants to borrow from you do not turn away.

In life we will often encounter people who will want to beat us into submission in order to elevate themselves; and sometimes this can happen in a physical sense, especially among men. Someone will “slap you on your right check” (v. 39), trying to pick a fight, with the intention of proving their superiority by “whooping up on you” and putting you in your place.

So, how should we respond when someone slaps us or punches us? Jesus said that some people would react with “an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth” (v. 38), meaning they would retaliate and take revenge by inflicting the same harm in return. “If you blacken my eye, then I am going to blacken yours! If you knock out my tooth, then I am going to knock out yours!” In Jesus’ time people attempted to justify their vengeful behavior based on the Old Testament law of lex talionis, which is the law of retribution (cf. Exodus 21:22-25; Leviticus 24:19-20).

Charles Spurgeon commented, “The law of an eye for an eye, as administered in the proper courts of law, was founded in justice . . . But when the lex talionis came to be the rule of daily life, it fostered revenge, and our Savior would not tolerate it as a principle carried out by individuals. Good law in court may be very bad custom in common society.”(3) Spurgeon pointed out that lex talionis was supposed to be carried out inside court, and not among individuals outside of court.

By Jesus’ time, this law was being practiced out of context and apart from true justice. Commentator William Burkitt said that when Jesus stated, “I tell you not to resist an evil person” (v. 39), He meant, “Seek not private revenge, but leave the avenging of injuries to God and the magistrates.”(4) Jesus was trying to help people understand that it is not our responsibility to administer justice, because we have a limited sense of justice. We must leave it to a court of law, and ultimately to the Lord.

In this time “a backhanded blow to the right cheek did not imply shattered teeth; it was an insult, the severest public affront to a person’s dignity . . . This was more an affront to honor; a challenge [more] than a physical injury.”(5) To this kind of affront, Jesus taught how a person should respond by turning the other cheek. When people take a swing at us today, it will probably be with the intention of inflicting physical harm; and it will therefore be much harder to refrain from hitting back. However, I believe the principle that Jesus taught still applies.