Fearless Campaign Week 2 Series

Fearless #2 The Fear of Not Mattering

I remember the first WVCOG state ministers meeting I attended after I moved here. It was crowded with ministers but I knew none of them. That leaves a person out of the loop, an outsider, you don’t matter. Then I saw a familiar face, a guy I went to school with briefly. I went up to at least make a connection with someone. It ended up being one of the those conversations that he looked over my shoulder the whole time and never in my eye…he was looking for someone to talk to that was more important than me. The conversation didn’t last long because everybody was more important than me.

One of the most often communicated messages in this life is “you don’t matter.”

The checkout person at Walmart communicates that…

The salesman who can’t remember your name communicates that…

The doctor who can’t remember your health issue…

Even at church, the person who walks by you like you aren’t there…

The world communicates that in a whole different way as well…

Rogaine commercials tell me that hair makes me studly…that’s what matters

Beer commercials tell me that I’ll matter if I drink Bud…

Clairol says we’ll count if we can alter our appearance…

We can’t be fat and matter…

We can’t be poor and matter…

We can’t wear Carhart jeans and matter…

We can’t be old and matter…

We can’t drive clunkers and matter…

We can’t be right wing and matter…

We can’t like NASCAR and matter…

We can’t be Christian and matter…

We can’t be unmarried and matter…

We can’t make minimum wage and matter…

We can’t like OSU football and matter…well….

I get the message…I don’t matter!!! I am an interruption to life, an insignificant piece of dust in this world of 6 billion people.

I had a fear once that Liberty Street church would burn down and no one would miss it…because we didn’t really matter to anyone.

We have a natural inborn need to want to matter, to want to become an important person, to be valuable and valued by someone. We want someone to care about us.

One of the most ridiculous things I’ve seen through the years because I work in church ministry have contact with different pastors and churches, one of the most ridiculous things is the church fight. A church of 50 people or a church of 800 people fighting over who is in control. I’ve been through it myself. I have wondered why this happens and I’ve come to the conclusion that for some of these church fighters they are fighting because the church they go to is the only place they really matter and now some pastor or some program or some change is threatening to relegate them as part of the crowd and take away their importance in that church. These same people don’t really matter anywhere else in their life except the church and now somebody is about to take that away from them as well.

We fear not mattering. We are in the 2nd week of our FEARLESS Campaign and today we look at the fear that we don’t really matter.

I feared not mattering playing college basketball. I remember one game in the playoffs to go to the national tournament or I filed out after playing only about 5 minutes of the game! You know what I was worried about? That maybe I wouldn’t get the start the next game because starters mattered more than the bench players.

We fear not mattering, never leaving a mark, never having an impact.

We create resumes; we are receiving resumes for our open position, all the resumes scream, “I matter!” We want to matter.

And we all grab for things that make us more important. The parent who has the naturally gifted athletics son matters more than the other parents. The mother with the beautiful prom queen daughter matters more than the other mothers. The guy who dates the head cheerleader matters more than the other guys. The person who lives in Wedgwood matters more than the person on 13th street. The person who drives a Lexus matters more than the person driving a Chevy. The Doctor matters more than the schoolteacher. The church with 500 people matters more than the church with 100 people. Pretty people matter more than ugly people.

And those who wonder if they matter have a habit of pointing to people who are lower then themselves as if to say, “See! I ‘m better then them, I do matter!”

I wonder how many of us fear dying alone in a nursing home because we no longer matter to anyone.

We all want to matter. We all want to find a way to elevate our importance.