Fearless #2 The Fear of Not Mattering
I remember the first WVCOG state ministers meeting I attended after I moved here. It was crowded with ministers but I knew none of them. That leaves a person out of the loop, an outsider, you don’t matter. Then I saw a familiar face, a guy I went to school with briefly. I went up to at least make a connection with someone. It ended up being one of the those conversations that he looked over my shoulder the whole time and never in my eye…he was looking for someone to talk to that was more important than me. The conversation didn’t last long because everybody was more important than me.
One of the most often communicated messages in this life is “you don’t matter.”
The checkout person at Walmart communicates that…
The salesman who can’t remember your name communicates that…
The doctor who can’t remember your health issue…
Even at church, the person who walks by you like you aren’t there…
The world communicates that in a whole different way as well…
Rogaine commercials tell me that hair makes me studly…that’s what matters
Beer commercials tell me that I’ll matter if I drink Bud…
Clairol says we’ll count if we can alter our appearance…
We can’t be fat and matter…
We can’t be poor and matter…
We can’t wear Carhart jeans and matter…
We can’t be old and matter…
We can’t drive clunkers and matter…
We can’t be right wing and matter…
We can’t like NASCAR and matter…
We can’t be Christian and matter…
We can’t be unmarried and matter…
We can’t make minimum wage and matter…
We can’t like OSU football and matter…well….
I get the message…I don’t matter!!! I am an interruption to life, an insignificant piece of dust in this world of 6 billion people.
I had a fear once that Liberty Street church would burn down and no one would miss it…because we didn’t really matter to anyone.
We have a natural inborn need to want to matter, to want to become an important person, to be valuable and valued by someone. We want someone to care about us.
One of the most ridiculous things I’ve seen through the years because I work in church ministry have contact with different pastors and churches, one of the most ridiculous things is the church fight. A church of 50 people or a church of 800 people fighting over who is in control. I’ve been through it myself. I have wondered why this happens and I’ve come to the conclusion that for some of these church fighters they are fighting because the church they go to is the only place they really matter and now some pastor or some program or some change is threatening to relegate them as part of the crowd and take away their importance in that church. These same people don’t really matter anywhere else in their life except the church and now somebody is about to take that away from them as well.
We fear not mattering. We are in the 2nd week of our FEARLESS Campaign and today we look at the fear that we don’t really matter.
I feared not mattering playing college basketball. I remember one game in the playoffs to go to the national tournament or I filed out after playing only about 5 minutes of the game! You know what I was worried about? That maybe I wouldn’t get the start the next game because starters mattered more than the bench players.
We fear not mattering, never leaving a mark, never having an impact.
We create resumes; we are receiving resumes for our open position, all the resumes scream, “I matter!” We want to matter.
And we all grab for things that make us more important. The parent who has the naturally gifted athletics son matters more than the other parents. The mother with the beautiful prom queen daughter matters more than the other mothers. The guy who dates the head cheerleader matters more than the other guys. The person who lives in Wedgwood matters more than the person on 13th street. The person who drives a Lexus matters more than the person driving a Chevy. The Doctor matters more than the schoolteacher. The church with 500 people matters more than the church with 100 people. Pretty people matter more than ugly people.
And those who wonder if they matter have a habit of pointing to people who are lower then themselves as if to say, “See! I ‘m better then them, I do matter!”
I wonder how many of us fear dying alone in a nursing home because we no longer matter to anyone.
We all want to matter. We all want to find a way to elevate our importance.
Today I want us to become fearless by looking at this system of not mattering, of low self esteem, of being dictated to by the world when it comes to who we are and breaking free from it.
The fear of not mattering is a bully that seeks you to take paths you don’t want to take and become something that you don’t want to become. But I want us to decide not to play the game and not to abide by the rules written by Satan himself because believe me when it comes to satan, nobody matters!
And here’s why this is important: if you chase after what the world says important and what matters you will never find it or achieve it. In the end you will spend your whole life chasing a mirage. But if you believe what God says you will learn to love yourself and accept who you are, what your gifts are, and where you are going whether it is big or small.
I matter because God made me
John 8:1 But Jesus went to the Mount of Olives. 2At dawn he appeared again in the temple courts, where all the people gathered around him, and he sat down to teach them. 3The teachers of the law and the Pharisees brought in a woman caught in adultery. They made her stand before the group 4and said to Jesus, "Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery. 5In the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women.
Now here is the perfect picture of someone who didn’t matter. She had nothing. She was caught in the act, she was a slut, scum, trash, a tramp. The only value she had was as an example, as a way to trick Jesus. The powers that be, the ones THAT REALLY MATTERED deemed her unworthy and that her life didn’t matter – in fact, let’s just kill her and get her out of the way.
Maybe this is the message you have heard…maybe you have heard it your whole life. I read recently that the number 1 job of a parent is to communicate to their children that they matter. Maybe this has never happened to you.
- And then you got married and felt like you mattered until you didn’t matter anymore
- And then someone else arrived that made you feel like you mattered, that is until they dumped you…
- And then a baby came along, “Now I’ll matter!” But how quickly even your own children tell you that you don’t matter.
- And then you won the lottery and thought this would make you matter, until you found out that how much you mattered depended on how much you were willing to give that money away. The prodigal son found out that he mattered as long as he had money to buy the next round of drinks.
What I don’t like about this scripture is that they hunted this woman down, dragged from the scene of the sin, made her stand in a public place before a group of religious do gooders, announced her sin to the world, decided on a possible punishment and all this right in front of the greatest preacher, the holiest man of that day – Jesus. It is the world shouting, “YOU DON’T MATTER AND WE SHOULD KNOW, BECAUSE WE MATTER!”
Isn’t it bad enough to feel worthless without it being publicly announced? I remember being at one of those atrocious PHS homecoming football games when they had the ridiculous homecoming court come out. They handed the winning rose to this girl and she celebrated UNTIL they realized they gave it to the wrong girl!!
Embarrassment. She counted for few minutes at least!
This is the message preached to us everyday in this world – we don’t matter. This lady so not mattered that there isn’t even a name: just “we caught this woman…”
She was worthless, disposable, a big zero! No one standing for her, not her lover, no mother….no one. She didn’t matter.
Or did she?
5In the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women.
Now what do you say?" 6They were using this question as a trap, in order to have a basis for accusing him.
There it is…what does Jesus say? What is He going to say about her? This is extremely personal. Not what the law says, the culture says, but WHAT DO YOU SAY? WHAT DOES JESUS SAY ABOUT THIS TROUBLED WOMAN? What does Jesus say about any of us? If we matter or not is now placed in His hands.
My college basketball coach wanted me to play in an all star game. I think he does want me to have the experience since I was a senior because I really wasn’t an All-Star. At the pregame banquet the coaches were introducing the players that they had selected for the All-Star game and I remember my coach getting up and completely exaggerating all of my stats for the year. I knew I didn’t have that many points per game or rebounds but what he was doing at that moment, besides lying, was trying to make me matter and trying to make me more important. I started believing I was an All-Star after he got done!
We live in a world that has a pecking order of who matters. And I’m here to tell you today that Jesus came and turn this whole system on its head. He said the first will be last, and the last will be first, he said if you try to save your life – you know, going after everything the world says is important – you will lose your life, you will lose your soul, you won’t even know who you are or what you were created do.
It was Jesus in Luke 4 who said that he came especially for the broken, especially for those locked up, especially for the poor, especially for the bruised, especially for those who didn’t have the key to unlock the door that they were trapped behind, especially for those who “don’t matter.” “I’ve come for the ugly, the handicapped…YOU MATTER TO ME!”
Jesus made the lepers matter
Jesus made the demon possessed matter
Jesus made the sick matter
Jesus made tax collectors matter
Jesus made prostitutes matter
Jesus made women and children matter
Jesus made fishermen matter
Jesus made the divorced, the poor, the grieving, the addicted matter
So what does Jesus say? Jesus says that I matter because He made me and He loves me.
And Jesus makes you matter, not because you’re so special but because Jesus is so special that he loves you and his love is what makes use special. The God of the universe sent His son to die for you…doesn’t that make you matter???
Listen to this… Something God wanted us to hear and something Jesus saw in that woman that day…
Eph. 2:10 For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.
What Jesus saw was that this woman mattered because she was God’s workmanship. It did not matter what label her culture or our culture puts on her, that what matters is the label God himself puts on her and he calls her his masterpiece, his workmanship, the work of his hand.
Listen to this…Jer. 29:11 For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the LORD, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.
There’s no doubt that what she was created to do was totally messed up. She wasn’t living anywhere near God’s will for her life. God had taken the time to write an entire script for her life, and how her life would matter, and had even placed within her all the unique gifts and talents that she would need to have to matter – but she was nowhere near living of that plan. She had substituted her own plan like so many of us do and it was a mess.
Jesus comes to remove everything that devalues us and to make us valuable again. Jesus comes to do the work in our life that will uncover all his original intentions for us. Jesus comes to dust off the script that he has written for our life and put it back into our hands. Jesus comes for the people who are not OK and who don’t have it all together, who are lost and almost beyond recognition.
When Jesus looked at her, this person who didn’t matter to anyone, this person who no one stood up for he somehow saw past the clothing, the makeup, the smell, the hair, the sin, the past, and he gave her value and he made her matter because he loved her.
I matter because God made me and God loves me
Look at that verse again. He crafted you. You look in the mirror and you think he made a mistake. You’re calling the work of God’s hands a mistake. That’s why I don’t believe in abortion!
Ps. 139:13 13 For You formed my inward parts;
You covered me in my mother’s womb.
14 I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
Marvelous are Your works, (wow! Worship this!)
And that my soul knows very well.
15 My frame was not hidden from You,
When I was made in secret,
And skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth.
16 Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed.
And in Your book they all were written,
The days fashioned for me,
When as yet there were none of them.
I am unbelievable! I matter!
Who else took the time to plan out a whole life of good works, and opportunity’s, and places where you would matter? That was your father in heaven! You matter because he loves you.
God wants to be your Father. What is a Christian? One who has God for His father!
Dare I say this????
I stand here before you today and
- I am loved, loved in the most shocking manner
- I am adored
- I am doted on and absolutely cared for.
- I stand here holy, specially chosen and set apart, that special
- I stand here and don’t have to be ashamed of who I am, I am loved the way that I am and the one who loves me knows everything about me, I hide nothing
- I stand with a cleared account and the one who loves me can’t think of anything against me
- I stand rescued and with wealth given to me
- And I am royalty and blessed…actually a saint
And this love came to me before I was ever born, the one who loves anxiously awaited the day that I finally came along…in fact the day that I was put in the family the Bible says there was a party in heaven and all the angels went crazy!
- I am loved so much that every need of my life has already been provided for.
- I am special. And that special love is not going to change. Nothing can ever separate me from it.
- I am accepted , even though I have faults and they will surely some to light.
- I have been crowned, I have been satisfied and made content
- I am loved so greatly that that love covers all my past, all my future, it reaches down to the depths of my fears and inspires me to the highest potential and will carry me for a lifetime.
- And I am His workmanship – He is proud of what He is making out of me…
- He is for me, and He is not worried about who is against me
- I am more than a conqueror now
- I am an overcomer – now!
- I am going to heaven now
- I have everything I need now
- I have God’s favor now
- I am God’s ambassador – now
- I am the bearer of Kingdom power – now
If need be this morning the humblest and weakest of God’s children can order a surgical strike of God’s kingdom power upon cancer in someone’s body – upon the lost prodigal child – we can call God’s divine activity to give peace to the troubled – to supply strength to the weak…
Why? Because we matter to our Father. I bet Bill Gates, Nancy Pelosi, Jay Rockefeller, Derik Jeter, Ben Roethlisberger can’t do that!!!
Does that sound arrogant that I could be that special?
I am simply quoting the bible and what God says about me. Why should I hate myself when I am loved by God so perfectly? Why should I condemn myself when I am forgiven / accepted so completely? I have been invited into His Kingdom and He made an unbelievably difficult effort to get me there starting with the death of Jesus on the cross. If He has made such an effort to get me why shouldn’t I be free and enjoy life?
God in his love chose you, He came after you, this wasn’t planned by you, it wasn’t deserved, it wasn’t earned, he reached down and took a hold of your heart, you couldn’t stop him, he relentlessly drew you to Himself.
You matter!!!
He doesn’t treat me like a loser / a sinner / employee / slave / mistake / embarrassment / worm / irritation / nuisance / problem / but I AM HIS SON!
….He appointed me, anointed me, and has sent me to tell you the good news that YOU MATTER!
And that love has been proven by Him loving me first, when I was a sinner and a loser. He came for me and died for me before I ever even was aware and while I was offending him with my lifestyle, me choices and my ignorance and anti God state of mind.
Why this is so important??? I John 4:18 There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out all fear. His love sets me free from all fear!!!
And that is why Jesus would put his credibility on the line for her…and for you and for me…
Here is what happens…
But Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger. 7When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, "If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her." 8Again he stooped down and wrote on the ground. (Right there he leveled the playing ground…equalized them)
9At this, those who heard began to go away one at a time, the older ones first, until only Jesus was left, with the woman still standing there. 10Jesus straightened up and asked her, "Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?"
11"No one, sir," she said.
"Then neither do I condemn you," Jesus declared. "Go now and leave your life of sin."
Now tell me, what did she do to EARN what Jesus did?
What did she do to DESERVE what Jesus did?
NOTHING…that is called GRACE.
You matter…now live a life that matters…
You matter because God made you and God loves you
Let me briefly say that the greatest gift we can pass on to others as Christians and as a church is to let other people know that they matter. You are God’s instrument and voice to communicate that to everyone, everywhere.
Do you know that nearly every day in our life that this same scenario with this woman is being played out? It may happen to you today, maybe at lunch, and somebody is going to throw a person in front of you and talk about their sins and their failings, trying to diminish them and they will ask the same question of you that they asked of Jesus, “what do you say?”
We can play the game of the world and try to make yourself more important by making others less important– we can try to make ourselves matter more by making other people matter less.
Or, we can put our lives on the line, we can put our credibility on the line, and we can tell people that they matter, that they matter to us and to God.
We can look past their weathered faces, their addictions, their tangled up situations, their sexual sins, their financial mess, their botched families and communicate that the matter to us. So many people already feel like a statistic or a Social Security number or forgotten – it is our job as God’s people to make them feel like they matter – the matter to God and the matter to us.
It’s not easy. When that lady came to the church this week to get a hand out of money for about the 20th time, how do I communicate that she matters without handing over the church as treasury?
But I want to be like Jesus and make people feel like the matter. That’s a gift we give away. You matter when you make others matter.
CLOSE…
The first church I went to as a child had a bully in it. It was the preacher’s son. His name was Johnny and I remember he wore a leather jacket just like every bully wears. He had greasy black hair too. Johnny was an intimidator and generally tried to terrify the kids who were younger and smaller than him. I remember meeting him in the halls of the church a few times and being scared.
There’s another bully that prowls around our life constantly – the bully we call fear. And like every bully fear exaggerates its power, it shouts threats and warnings, and keeps us on edge, making us watch our every move. The bully yells, “YOU DON”T MATTER!”
I don’t have to face that bully alone. I’m taking my bigger brother, Jesus, with me to take of that bully.
• John 13:23
Now there was leaning on Jesus’ bosom one of His disciples, whom Jesus loved.
• John 19:26
When Jesus therefore saw His mother, and the disciple whom He loved standing by, He said to His mother, “Woman, behold your son!”
• John 20:2
Then she ran and came to Simon Peter, and to the other disciple, whom Jesus loved, and said to them, “They have taken away the Lord out of the tomb, and we do not know where they have laid Him.”
• John 21:7
Therefore that disciple whom Jesus loved said to Peter, “It is the Lord!” Now when Simon Peter heard that it was the Lord, he put on his outer garment (for he had removed it), and plunged into the sea.
• John 21:20
[ The Beloved Disciple and His Book ] Then Peter, turning around, saw the disciple whom Jesus loved following, who also had leaned on His breast at the supper, and said, “Lord, who is the one who betrays You?”
