Fathering God's Way Part One

Fathering God’s Way - Part One

(Deuteronomy 6:1-9)

Theme: God is the originator of Fatherhood; therefore, He is the source for how to do it properly.

Purpose: After I preach this sermon, the hearer should be able to state the elements of the role that God has identified for fathers. (I.e., Provider, teacher, leader and problem-solver).

Behavioral

Objective: After I preach this sermon, I want the hearer to determine to dig deeper into God’s plan for fathering.

Introduction. (Get attention, surface need, make a contract to deliver a solution.)

A. Humor.

1. When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years. - attributed to Mark Twain by Reader’s Digest, Sept. 1937.

2. Bill Cosby.

a. Having children is the most beautifully irrational act that two people can commit.

b. A father quickly learns that his child invariably comes to the bathroom at precisely the times when he’s in there, as if he needed company. Whether the father is trying to shave or nap or work, small children come to him like moths to a flame.

c. Just what is a father’s role today? As a taskmaster, he’s inept. As a referee, he’s hopeless. And as a short-order cook, he may have the wrong menu.

d. If the new American father feels bewildered and even defeated, let him take comfort from the fact that whatever he does in any fathering situation has a fifty percent chance of being right.

B. Facts:

1. Tonight, 40% of all American children will go to sleep in a house in which their fathers do not live.

2. Before the age of eighteen, more than 50% of our children will spend a significant portion of their childhood living apart from their fathers.

3. A generation ago, an American child could reasonably expect to grow up with a dad. Today, an American child can reasonably expect not to.

4. Fatherlessness is the most harmful demographic trend in this generation. Read quote from Blankenhorn, David Fatherless America: Confronting our most Urgent Social Problem (New York, New York: BasicBooks, 1995) pp.1-2.

C. Typical models for fatherhood in America:

1. The busy father:

a. Who is he?

(1) The businessman with a calendar full of deadlines.

(2) The preacher with a life full of commitments.

(3) The manager with the need to keep up his image.

(4) The CEO with the need for an extended vacation - alone - to avoid a major heart attack.

(5) The doctor who uses the term “workaholic” in reference to himself as if it were a medal of honor.

b. What does he say?

(1) I don’t have time.

(2) My kids are better off than I was (I never had Nintendo, a computer, a car - hey, I never even got an allowance!)

(3) Why do you think I work this hard anyway? I do it all for you!

c. What does his family look like?

(1) His wife is resentful.

(2) His kids are growing up without their dad.

(3) The home is probably tense.

(4) This family is programmed to splinter.

2. The authoritarian father.

a. Who is he?

(1) He is overbearing.

(2) He believes that his role in the family is to impose his will upon the family.

b. What does he say? I’m the boss.

c. What does his family look like?

(1) His wife is demeaned.

(2) His children are intimidated and oppressed.

(a) They either become passive.

(b) Or, they themselves become the oppressors in their relationships, thus continuing the cycle.

3. The weak father.

a. Who is he? He’s Casper Milktoast!

b. What does he say? Go ask your mother.

c. What does his family look like?

(1) The woman is the dominant force.

(2) He aligns himself with the kids.

(3) The whole group becomes disoriented. (Mexico).

4. The indifferent father.

a. Who is he? He’s the one hiding behind the newspaper.

b. What does he say? Child rearing is the woman’s job.

c. What does his family look like?

(1) His wife is resentful.

(2) His kids are hurt and rejected. Dad is here but he’s always unavailable.

5. The absent father.

a. Who is he?

(1) According to our statistics, he’s the guy who is supposed to be living in 2 out of every 5 houses on your block.

(2) Now, some fathers die. That can’t be helped.

(3) But, many choose to leave. That hurts kids worse.

b. What does he say? Nothing! He is an echoing silence in 2 out of every 5 houses in our neighborhoods.

c. What does his family look like?

(1) Mom often goes to her grave hurt, rejected and bitter.