Fathering God’s Way - Part One
(Deuteronomy 6:1-9)
Theme: God is the originator of Fatherhood; therefore, He is the source for how to do it properly.
Purpose: After I preach this sermon, the hearer should be able to state the elements of the role that God has identified for fathers. (I.e., Provider, teacher, leader and problem-solver).
Behavioral
Objective: After I preach this sermon, I want the hearer to determine to dig deeper into God’s plan for fathering.
Introduction. (Get attention, surface need, make a contract to deliver a solution.)
A. Humor.
1. When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years. - attributed to Mark Twain by Reader’s Digest, Sept. 1937.
2. Bill Cosby.
a. Having children is the most beautifully irrational act that two people can commit.
b. A father quickly learns that his child invariably comes to the bathroom at precisely the times when he’s in there, as if he needed company. Whether the father is trying to shave or nap or work, small children come to him like moths to a flame.
c. Just what is a father’s role today? As a taskmaster, he’s inept. As a referee, he’s hopeless. And as a short-order cook, he may have the wrong menu.
d. If the new American father feels bewildered and even defeated, let him take comfort from the fact that whatever he does in any fathering situation has a fifty percent chance of being right.
B. Facts:
1. Tonight, 40% of all American children will go to sleep in a house in which their fathers do not live.
2. Before the age of eighteen, more than 50% of our children will spend a significant portion of their childhood living apart from their fathers.
3. A generation ago, an American child could reasonably expect to grow up with a dad. Today, an American child can reasonably expect not to.
4. Fatherlessness is the most harmful demographic trend in this generation. Read quote from Blankenhorn, David Fatherless America: Confronting our most Urgent Social Problem (New York, New York: BasicBooks, 1995) pp.1-2.
C. Typical models for fatherhood in America:
1. The busy father:
a. Who is he?
(1) The businessman with a calendar full of deadlines.
(2) The preacher with a life full of commitments.
(3) The manager with the need to keep up his image.
(4) The CEO with the need for an extended vacation - alone - to avoid a major heart attack.
(5) The doctor who uses the term “workaholic” in reference to himself as if it were a medal of honor.
b. What does he say?
(1) I don’t have time.
(2) My kids are better off than I was (I never had Nintendo, a computer, a car - hey, I never even got an allowance!)
(3) Why do you think I work this hard anyway? I do it all for you!
c. What does his family look like?
(1) His wife is resentful.
(2) His kids are growing up without their dad.
(3) The home is probably tense.
(4) This family is programmed to splinter.
2. The authoritarian father.
a. Who is he?
(1) He is overbearing.
(2) He believes that his role in the family is to impose his will upon the family.
b. What does he say? I’m the boss.
c. What does his family look like?
(1) His wife is demeaned.
(2) His children are intimidated and oppressed.
(a) They either become passive.
(b) Or, they themselves become the oppressors in their relationships, thus continuing the cycle.
3. The weak father.
a. Who is he? He’s Casper Milktoast!
b. What does he say? Go ask your mother.
c. What does his family look like?
(1) The woman is the dominant force.
(2) He aligns himself with the kids.
(3) The whole group becomes disoriented. (Mexico).
4. The indifferent father.
a. Who is he? He’s the one hiding behind the newspaper.
b. What does he say? Child rearing is the woman’s job.
c. What does his family look like?
(1) His wife is resentful.
(2) His kids are hurt and rejected. Dad is here but he’s always unavailable.
5. The absent father.
a. Who is he?
(1) According to our statistics, he’s the guy who is supposed to be living in 2 out of every 5 houses on your block.
(2) Now, some fathers die. That can’t be helped.
(3) But, many choose to leave. That hurts kids worse.
b. What does he say? Nothing! He is an echoing silence in 2 out of every 5 houses in our neighborhoods.
c. What does his family look like?
(1) Mom often goes to her grave hurt, rejected and bitter.
(2) These kids have all kinds of problems making the adjustments necessary to lead healthy, productive lives.
D. Transition.
1. Make no mistake, we are in a very real crisis.
2. But, God is the author and perfecter of fatherhood.
3. He has the model that we can follow. According to God’s plan, the father is:
a. Provider.
b. Teacher.
c. Leader.
d. Problem solver.
II. The Father as Provider.
A. It is his God-given role:
1. To Adam [God] said, "Because you listened to your wife and ate from the tree about which I commanded you, ’You must not eat of it,’ "Cursed is the ground because of you; through painful toil you will eat of it all the days of your life. 18 It will produce thorns and thistles for you, and you will eat the plants of the field. 19 By the sweat of your brow you will eat your food until you return to the ground, since from it you were taken; for dust you are and to dust you will return." NIV Genesis 3:17 -19.
2. For even when we were with you, we gave you this rule: "If a man will not work, he shall not eat." NIV 2 Thessalonians 3:10.
3. If anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for his immediate family, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever. NIV 1 Timothy 5:8.
B. Wealth is dangerous!
1. America is the richest nation ever.
2. Remember the principle of Proverbs 30:7-9.
Two things I ask of you, O LORD; do not refuse me before I die: 8 Keep falsehood and lies far from me; give me neither poverty nor riches, but give me only my daily bread. 9 Otherwise, I may have too much and disown you and say, ’Who is the LORD?’ Or I may become poor and steal, and so dishonor the name of my God.
III. The Father as Teacher - Deuteronomy 6:1-9.
These are the commands, decrees and laws the LORD your God directed me to teach you to observe in the land that you are crossing the Jordan to possess, 2 so that you, your children and their children after them may fear the LORD your God as long as you live by keeping all his decrees and commands that I give you, and so that you may enjoy long life. 3 Hear, O Israel, and be careful to obey so that it may go well with you and that you may increase greatly in a land flowing with milk and honey, just as the LORD, the God of your fathers, promised you. 4 Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one. 5 Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. 6 These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. 7 Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. 8 Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. 9 Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates. NIV.
A. The curriculum, 4-5.
1. The authority of God - He is The Lord.
2. The unity of God:
a. He is one.
b. He is consistent, enduring, trustworthy.
3. The covenant-seeking nature of God.
a. He wants a relationship with your kids.
b. It is fine to bring them to Sunday School and VBS; but, they must see what it means to have a personal relationship with God.
B. The methodology, 6-9:
1. Exemplified - the laws of God must be lived out in your life.
2. Use audio and visual aids.
3. The three rules of learning: repetition, repetition and repetition.
IV. The Father as Leader.
A. Male spiritual leadership is God’s design.
B. In the family, it is the father who sets the standards.
1. He makes the rules of the house.
2. He enforces the rules of the house.
3. He lives by the rules of the house.
C. It is dad’s presence and influence in the family that makes kids feel:
1. Safe.
2. Secure.
3. Provided for.
V. The Father as Problem-Solver.
A. In the lives of kids, it is dad who helps them:
1. Overcome their problems.
2. Face their enemies.
B. In so doing, it is dad who instills their self-esteem.
1. Confidence.
2. Courage.
3. Self-reliance.
4. Self-discipline.
Conclusion. (The purpose of the conclusion is to conclude, not merely to stop.)
A. We are in crisis. 2 out of every 5 houses on your block have no father.
B. The other 3 have a good chance of having
1. The busy father.
2. The authoritarian father.
3. The weak father.
4. The indifferent father.
C. According to God’s plan, the father is:
1. Provider.
2. Teacher.
3. Leader.
4. Problem solver.
D. If we follow God’s plan for fatherhood, we can successfully raise healthy, productive, God-fearing, God-loving children.
E. Come back tonight and find out how!
