Ephesians 5 On Marriage

INTRODUCTION

After our relationship to God, marriage is the most important relationship we get into. But society’s view of marriage has changed dramatically over the past half century or so.

What I would like to do today is give you two pictures. The first picture is what I’m calling the world’s view of marriage. I’m going to do that now. The second picture is the Biblical view of marriage. I’ll do that later in the service. At the end, I’ll reflect a little on these two pictures.

THE WORLD'S VIEW OF MARRIAGE

'There’s no point in getting married.'

70 years or so ago, at the end of the Second World War, almost everyone got married. But the sexual revolution of the 1960s and 1970s changed people’s practices. Cohabitation became more common and it’s completely normal today. The number of people getting married has been going down steadily and rapidly.

If we go back to 1971, when the first UK census was conducted, among women in the age group 30-34, 93% were or had been married. Move forward to 2021, when the last UK census was conducted. Now, just 42% of the women in this age were not and never had been married. The number of women getting married today is less than half what it was 50 years ago.

That means, of course, that more children are born outside marriage. In 2022, more children were born outside marriage than were born within marriage. In the past, there was a stigma associated with being unmarried and a parent. Today, this stigma is hardly noticeable.

Looking at these statistics, it’s evident that most people today don’t see marriage as very important. Marriage is simply one option among many for how to arrange one’s most intimate relationship.

'In a marriage, the partners are equal'

70 years or so ago, at the end of the Second World War, most people had what we can call a traditional view of marriage. I’m not saying that a traditional view of marriage is a Biblical view, but it isn’t far off. In the traditional view, the husband was the head of the family and the breadwinner. The wife looked after the home. In this view of marriage, the husband and wife have different roles. This is a ‘complementarian’ view of marriage.

Then there was a rise in feminism. Feminism rejected the idea that the husband should be the head of the family or that husband and wife should have different roles. It redefined marriage as a partnership of equals. This is the ‘egalitarian’ view of marriage. In western Europe this is now the dominant view of marriage. In most European countries, 80-90% of people prefer egalitarian marriage. In the UK the figure is about 80%. This view is also the dominant view in Christian communities. The data I’ve found shows that between 70 and 90% of Christians in western Europe have an egalitarian view of marriage.

Another major change in attitude towards marriage is that same-sex partnerships can be legally recognized as marriages. Same-sex marriage became legal in the UK in 2014. This view of marriage is incompatible with the Biblical view.

'The goal of marriage is romantic love'

In the past, many people would have seen one of the main purposes of marriage as being to have children and provide an environment in which to bring them up. Today people are less likely to see children as a goal of marriage. In fact, they might well not want children. What they’re looking for is romantic love.

More people give up on marriage today

In the mid-1960s, about 10% of marriages ended in divorce within ten years. By 1975, this figure had nearly doubled to 18%. The figure continued to rise and as of 2021, about 42% of marriages in the UK ended in divorce. That’s a big increase. I don’t know if it’s because people are less committed to marriage or because divorce has become easier.

So, all of these changes have been going on.

But what do WE, as Christians, think? How should WE view marriage? What is the BIBLICAL concept of marriage?

Let me give you a spoiler. The Biblical view of marriage is very different to most westerners’ view of marriage.

It is also very different to the common view of marriage in Paul’s time. In Paul’s time, Greek and Roman societies were patriarchal. In the west today, we see men and women as equal. But that wasn’t the case in Paul’s time. Women had very limited legal rights. Marriage generally placed women absolutely their husbands’ control although this was gradually changing.

THE BIBLICAL VIEW OF MARRIAGE

Before we start, two questions.

I’d like to address two things you may be thinking.

First, you may be thinking is, wasn’t Paul writing for his time and culture? If he was, then surely his teaching doesn’t apply to our time and culture? Yes, Paul was writing for his time and culture. But – as we will see – Paul explains God’s plan for marriage by referring to things that are relevant to all times and cultures, such as Jesus’ love for the church.